Hello @summerlily1234 and welcome to DTP
Im sorry you are finding it so hard to cope with your husband. Unfortunately, the reason why you are unable to get a satisfactory answer from the doctor about how long your husband will survive is because they simply dont know. No-one knows how long this journey will take. I asked the consultant the same question and he shrugged (nicely, he was a lovely man) and basically said - how long is a piece of string?
It sounds like you are very depressed. It sounds like you have been putting your life on hold. I guess that all of your energies have been focussed on your husband and you have been left out of the equation. Can you go and see your GP? Would counselling help?
Can you start to take steps to do things for yourself, doing things because you want to, not because of your husband?
Hello @summerlily1234 and welcome to DTP
Im sorry you are finding it so hard to cope with your husband. Unfortunately, the reason why you are unable to get a satisfactory answer from the doctor about how long your husband will survive is because they simply dont know. No-one knows how long this journey will take. I asked the consultant the same question and he shrugged (nicely, he was a lovely man) and basically said - how long is a piece of string?
It sounds like you are very depressed. It sounds like you have been putting your life on hold. I guess that all of your energies have been focussed on your husband and you have been left out of the equation. Can you go and see your GP? Would counselling help?
Can you start to take steps to do things for yourself, doing things because you want to, not because of your husband?
I feel so guilty, after 50 years and promising to look after him in sickness and in health. But i know what your saying letting go isnt easy. Today he was unable to walk at all so another hurdle but he seems not to be in pain. I am going to be strong and take each day, we are all on a journey and i found out today my cousin got killed by a train yesterday which makes you realise every journey is different.I agree with @Roseleigh
You dont have to visit every day. People with dementia dont have the same sense of time as we do and cutting down the visits is unlikely to make any difference. You also dont have to stay very long. It is hard work (and depressing) staying for hours with someone who cannot respond. Do you help with feeding him? Many people have found this a way to continue shared experience.