I wonder if writing it down would help. An etcha sketch or the like. You can buy communication cards also. Its so sad.
Mother not washing hair
- Thread starter haygreen
- Start date
I wonder if writing it down would help. An etcha sketch or the like. You can buy communication cards also. Its so sad.
Yes it is very sad and just there are days when it drives you crazy and people that have never dealt with it don’t help. I got told today that Alzheimer’s makes people forget it doesn’t make them stupid so I shouldn’t let me dad just get away with things. Eurgh!! I’m still learning but it’s just frustrating that you are dealing with this and the people you rely on don’t always understand so I then have to be understanding towards them because how can I expect everyone’s to get it?!
Oh yes youll come up against that its very tiring. Going for doc and hospital appts are hard too as you expect professional people to understand but im not sure they always do. All you can do is your best so just do that. Your dad us lucky to have you x
Yes it’s just difficult sometimes like today he isn’t having the best day, and has decided he needs something but won’t tell me what it is as it’s a secret. His words. He has also decided to start taking his watch on and off, which is quite hard to ignore. Keep saying to myself patience Rachel patience
Sorry to hear thay youll have good and bad days. I find its calmer to just let them be .... its not that big a deal if he plays with his watch unless he's trying to tell you something. Its prob just agitation bless him. You need some distraction techniques. I made a scrap book full of family photos ... She picks up throughout the day and i hand it to her when shes agitated.
Thank you that is a really good idea as I have a load of photos in a carrier bag that I just keep leaving, gives me the kick up the bum to finally sort them!
Good question .. .. i have only used recent family photos of us all. As i dont think mum would recognise anyone in old 0hotos. For instance she knows my nephew who is 19 but forgets who my niece is who is only 5. She doesn't really know she has a grandaughter. Use snapfish app for cheaper prints
I meant to ask, if he doesn’t recognise them correctly, for example calling John Trevor should you correct them? I’m never sure on this. Like sometimes he calls my niece the dogs name and we correct him but I’m not sure if we should do that, either in real life or with photos?
I dont correct mum at all these days. She calls things by all kinds of names. She thinks im her niece. I just say ur my mum silly moo .... or i go along with it. It simply doesnt matter. You have to go into their world not the other way round. I cant imagine what goes on in their minds it scares me. Life is calmer and simple when you agree with them or go along with them. Its like bath time.... shes adamant shes had one and is quite agressive about not having one. I say yes ok .... then progress to the bath and go thru the motions. All of a sudden shes on the bathboard and im bathing her .... no fuss. It takes time. Keep up the good work!
hello @KPD
a warm welcome to DTP
sadly, as you can see from comments on just this thread, refusing personal care is not unusual, but is a trial for those trying to help
are the carers asking your dad eg do you want a shower today? ... which is far too open a question and very likely to get the default 'no' answer, and then the carer can't go against the refusal
maybe suggest they get everything ready then use 'what a lovely bathroom you have, time for a wash now, the water is just right and this is your favourite soap, brilliant, that's a good lather for your underarms' ie encouragement, praise and positivity
or maybe change round the routine eg breakfast then wash and dress, or vice versa
if something works 3 days in 7 that's not too bad, as long as there are no health issues involved
this may be of help
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/daily-living/washing-and-bathing
this
a warm welcome to DTP
sadly, as you can see from comments on just this thread, refusing personal care is not unusual, but is a trial for those trying to help
are the carers asking your dad eg do you want a shower today? ... which is far too open a question and very likely to get the default 'no' answer, and then the carer can't go against the refusal
maybe suggest they get everything ready then use 'what a lovely bathroom you have, time for a wash now, the water is just right and this is your favourite soap, brilliant, that's a good lather for your underarms' ie encouragement, praise and positivity
or maybe change round the routine eg breakfast then wash and dress, or vice versa
if something works 3 days in 7 that's not too bad, as long as there are no health issues involved
this may be of help
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/daily-living/washing-and-bathing
this
Im sorry to hear this.... you are not alone its a struggle with personal care for everyone. My mother will do anything to get out of bathing or washing. We have to find a way that works. For me i say if we dont get washed we can't go out and i have to go home. That does the trick. Yes its a little threat one i dont mean , but it works. Then i bathe or wash her superfast. But get it done. I think the idea is not to drag it out. Also i promise a little whisky when we have finished which she forgets about but it works a treat. You just need some distraction techniques. Singing also works.... wash and sing!! There will be a way you just need to find a green lightMy Dad has recently been refusing full personal care from any carer that comes inthis is becoming a daily thing, day in, day out
Thank you for the warm welcome and link, my dad is still refusing a shower so much is going on past couple of weeks, I will put a new post up but thank you for your input x
Recent Threads
-
-
-
-
-
-
Early onset Dementia and Pacemaker replacement. I don’t want to do it.
- Latest: bunnylovevol
-
-
-