Moving Mum to care home..

[Bubble82]

Morning everyone,

I'm looking for some advise please.

We just got home from holiday on Wednesday & after speaking to carers Thursday morning, I did call Wednesday but didn't get a call back until the next morning. They said that they felt that Mum was now needing more care, like 24/7 which they wouldn't be able to provide.

To be honest this did throw me a bit, I wasn't expecting it. She currently has 2 calls a day & I go in of a lunch time, and Mum's sister too. Who also helps more while we're on holiday.

Mum is currently self funded & owns her own home.

My Auntie & I viewed 3 care homes yesterday & I have another one to call this morning to hopefully arrange a viewing in our area.

I have power of attorney for health & financial.

She has a bit of money in the bank & some in shares which I'll have to cash in & also owns her own home.

I have an estate agent coming around on Wednesday to value the property.

Am I right in assuming that I sell the house to pay the care home fees along with the other money & she won't get any funding towards this until the funds have gone down to £23,250?

Does anyone know if there's an amount of money available to spend each week on things for her or not?

I don't want to get in any trouble & I'm a bit out of my depth so if someone could point me in the right direction I would be grateful..

Thank you.

 

[jaymor]

Good morning @Bubble82,

As POA you are expected to work in the best interests of your Mum so as long as money is spent on your Mum to keep her comfortable and happy then that’s fine. She may like the hairdresser weekly/monthly, she will need a chiropodist to keep her feet healthy and of course clothes replacing and toiletries plus anything else you feel will make her new way of life that bit more comfortable and acceptable.

I opened an account for my husband at his nursing home and checked monthly to see if it needed a top up. The nursing home paid the chiropodist from this and the times he was escorted to hospital by a Carer I agreed to their taxi fare back to the nursing home once I was there to take over, could be taken from his funds. Any outing he went on was also taken from the funds. It made life so much easier.

As long as you don’t spend thousands on original artwork for the walls etc., you will be fine

 

[Bubble82]

That's great thank you.

It's all new to me, and was hoping it wouldn't come. Such a cruel illness.

I'm not sure what the estate agents will say, some rooms could do with decorating, I'm going to ask in value change if the work were to be done to see if it's worth while to get her more money for the sale.

 

[Louise7]

We just got home from holiday on Wednesday & after speaking to carers Thursday morning, I did call Wednesday but didn't get a call back until the next morning. They said that they felt that Mum was now needing more care, like 24/7 which they wouldn't be able to provide.

To be honest this did throw me a bit, I wasn't expecting it. She currently has 2 calls a day & I go in of a lunch time, and Mum's sister too. Who also helps more while we're on holiday.

Did the carers say why your Mum has suddenly gone from managing with 2 carers a day to now needing 24hr care? That's a big, sudden change in care needs in a short period of time. Has she had a sudden deterioration in her health whilst you've been on holiday?

Here's a useful fact sheet about paying for care which you may find helpful:

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/legal-financial/who-pays-care

 

[marionq]

Getting the house clean and presentable is more important than decorating. The house next door to me which was in very good nick sold in less than a week and the first thing the young couple did on moving in was redecorate. Concentrate on the move for your mother and her finances. Sort out the cash side first with savings and shares so you have money available in case the house is slow to sell.

 

[Bubble82]

Did the carers say why your Mum has suddenly gone from managing with 2 carers a day to now needing 24hr care? That's a big, sudden change in care needs in a short period of time. Has she had a sudden deterioration in her health whilst you've been on holiday?

Here's a useful fact sheet about paying for care which you may find helpful:

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/legal-financial/who-pays-care

Thank you.

Well they suggested 3 calls, because of her incontinence but as we don't know when she'll go to the toilet it's very difficult. They say she's become more difficult to wash as she doesn't want too.

Her feet are swollen which they have been for a while, Dr's have been out. But bottom of her legs also ulcerated slightly.

I don't personally see a massive change, and was quite a shock really. I wasn't expecting it!

 

[Bubble82]

Getting the house clean and presentable is more important than decorating. The house next door to me which was in very good nick sold in less than a week and the first thing the young couple did on moving in was redecorate. Concentrate on the move for your mother and her finances. Sort out the cash side first with savings and shares so you have money available in case the house is slow to sell.

Thank you.

I was just thinking as her incontinence some of the carpets could do with changing to be honest. But I do see what you're saying.

 

[Louise7]

Well they suggested 3 calls, because of her incontinence but as we don't know when she'll go to the toilet it's very difficult. They say she's become more difficult to wash as she doesn't want too.

Her feet are swollen which they have been for a while, Dr's have been out. But bottom of her legs also ulcerated slightly.

I don't personally see a massive change, and was quite a shock really. I wasn't expecting it!

Three carer calls daily is a bit different from needing 24hr care. Does your Mum wear incontinence pants? It can be common for those with dementia to not want a wash but carers with experience in caring for those with dementia should have techniques and ways of dealing with this. When social services are involved their usual 'rule' for whether someone needs residential care or not is when 4 care visits a day are not enough to mange the persons needs and keep them safe. It's different when someone is self-funding, and as H&W attorney you can make the decision that your Mum needs residential care, but if you don't feel that your Mum is ready for a care home yet you could try an increase in carers first.

With regards redecorating/getting new carpets, when we had estate agents round to value Mum's property (which required redecorating, new carpets etc) both estate agents advised to just leave it as it was as buyers would change things anyway. You can always get the carpets deep cleaned if you feel it would help a sale but buying new carpets is very unlikely to add an increase the value of the house.

 

[Bubble82]

Three carer calls daily is a bit different from needing 24hr care. Does your Mum wear incontinence pants? It can be common for those with dementia to not want a wash but carers with experience in caring for those with dementia should have techniques and ways of dealing with this. When social services are involved their usual 'rule' for whether someone needs residential care or not is when 4 care visits a day are not enough to mange the persons needs and keep them safe. It's different when someone is self-funding, and as H&W attorney you can make the decision that your Mum needs residential care, but if you don't feel that your Mum is ready for a care home yet you could try an increase in carers first.

With regards redecorating/getting new carpets, when we had estate agents round to value Mum's property (which required redecorating, new carpets etc) both estate agents advised to just leave it as it was as buyers would change things anyway. You can always get the carpets deep cleaned if you feel it would help a sale but buying new carpets is very unlikely to add an increase the value of the house.

That's great, Thank you.

Maybe it's just the care company. I'm not sure.

But they did mention when she'd got in a mess, she's started eating it..... That's not good at all..

I haven't spoken with social services in a while.

I'm not sure what to do for best, for her obviously.

 

[SewHappy]

My mum and late stepfather's house was dirty, cluttered and hadn't been decorated for years. Old bathroom and kitchen units too. Advice was to clear stuff out, clean as much as possible but not to bother to update/redecorate. We were advised to remove the carpets as they retained an aroma and were very dirty. The valuing agents should be able to advise on what works in your area. Don't be embarrassed as they seem to have experience of these things.

Hubby and I have POA for mum and spend her money keeping her in a care home, toiletries, hairdresser, chiropody etc to keep her clean and comfy. We buy clothes, toiletries and shoes from ranges that were her favourites which isn't designer but not the cheapest either.

 

[Bunpoots]

Thank you.

I was just thinking as her incontinence some of the carpets could do with changing to be honest. But I do see what you're saying.

I spent £3000 on laminate flooring and new carpets in bedroom and replacing carpet in kitchen and bathroom with vinyl. This added £25,000 to estate agents valuation. Dad also had incontinence accidents so I had no choice.

I also redecorated the kitchen as it had polystyrene tiles on the ceiling and once I'd taken them down I had to remove the wallpaper from the walls. I did this myself so only costed me the price of the paint and a bit of filler.

Dads bungalow is neutrally decorated and going on the market today so I've yet to see how quickly it sells.

 

[Bubble82]

Thank you both.

I'll see what the estate agents say on Wednesday too & what they advise.

That's a huge amount of value on, good to hear.

 

[Louise7]

But they did mention when she'd got in a mess, she's started eating it..... That's not good at all.

On that note, one of Mum's carers made exactly the same comment but another carer confirmed that what she was actually doing was touching herself when soiled at night, getting her hands dirty and then subsequently putting her fingers in her mouth - she wasn't actually 'eating' anything. Mum has a tendency to want to touch her bottom when soiled but regular toileting and changing of incontinence pants during the day, and wearing of pyjamas rather than a nightie when in bed at night, solved the problem.

 

[Bubble82]

On that note, one of Mum's carers made exactly the same comment but another carer confirmed that what she was actually doing was touching herself when soiled at night, getting her hands dirty and then subsequently putting her fingers in her mouth - she wasn't actually 'eating' anything. Mum has a tendency to want to touch her bottom when soiled but regular toileting and changing of incontinence pants during the day, and wearing of pyjamas rather than a nightie when in bed at night, solved the problem.

Yes I think that's what's happening too.

She gets it on her hands and smears it everywhere..

 

[Louise7]

It sounds as though the carers you have coming in are not experienced in dealing with those with dementia. When looking at care homes some will say that they are experienced in dementia care when they mean early stages so make sure that you let them know exactly what your Mum's care needs are and check at what stage of dementia the other residents are at - are their care needs similar to your Mum's? Will the home be able to care for your Mum's ulcerated legs - would a district nurse need to call regularly or does she require nursing care, with a nurse on duty 24/7? You don't want to move your Mum into a home and then have to move her again because the home can't cope so take your time to find the right one.

 

[Bubble82]

Thank you. I'll make sure to check everything.

I haven't always been 100% happy with the carers, or at least some of them. Constantly having to ring all the time.