Mother not washing hair

haygreen

Registered User
Sep 13, 2017
67
0
Good suggestions to try a home hairdresser or a carer, the carer could help with other things too. If she won't tolerate her hair being washed regularly, you could try Nilaqua (google it, it's a 'waterless' shampoo widely available).

@Rach1985 it may seem as if your dad can cut his nails, but possibly he actually can't. He may have lost the necessary sequencing and coordination skills (as well as not seeing why he should bother). My mother lost very basic skills but successfully covered it up so I wasn't aware. A chiropodist would do his toenails, some will do home visits, but obviously he'd have to co-operate. Would you be able to do his fingernails for him?
L
Good suggestions to try a home hairdresser or a carer, the carer could help with other things too. If she won't tolerate her hair being washed regularly, you could try Nilaqua (google it, it's a 'waterless' shampoo widely available).

@Rach1985 it may seem as if your dad can cut his nails, but possibly he actually can't. He may have lost the necessary sequencing and coordination skills (as well as not seeing why he should bother). My mother lost very basic skills but successfully covered it up so I wasn't aware. A chiropodist would do his toenails, some will do home visits, but obviously he'd have to co-operate. Would you be able to do his fingernails for him?
 

haygreen

Registered User
Sep 13, 2017
67
0
Sirena the suggestion you made about the shampoo was a good one.Thank you for your time and trouble considering my problem..haygreen
 

haygreen

Registered User
Sep 13, 2017
67
0
Rosettastone thank you for your comments concerning washing hair. Was sad to hear you had a hard time with your mother-in-law. Cannot have been pleasant for you or the careers..Haygreen
 

la lucia

Registered User
Jul 3, 2011
592
0
Can some kind person advise me as I care for Mum who has not washed her hair for weeks and relatives are commenting on this. I cannot persuade her to wash her hair and am thinking of getting a career in for a few times a week to persuade Mum to look after herself.
Has anyone out there any other ideas to assist me. I am a Man and my Mum will not listen to me. Thank you in advance for your help. Haygreen
My mum used to go to daycare that had a hairdresser come in once a week. It was great because they had all the gear and it meant I could sell daycare to my somewhat resistant mum as 'your hairdresser's appointment'.

For her last year she didn't go to that particular daycare any more so I bought a plastic 'halo' and used it to wash her hair in the shower with the handheld device. It kept the water nicely away from her face.
 

Bee.quilt

Registered User
Dec 29, 2017
85
0
Identical problem here with OH. Am researching ‘tiny wet room shower/toilet combi’, as he’s taken to med- equip raised toilet without protest. Have small downstairs cloakroom to convert, but think could be used in other small spaces. I am hoping sitting down and being spray showered will seem like pampering rather than hygiene. Best wishes to you. I think caring must be a more difficult task for a man to undertake.B x
 

Kubacoll

New member
Mar 18, 2019
1
0
Can some kind person advise me as I care for Mum who has not washed her hair for weeks and relatives are commenting on this. I cannot persuade her to wash her hair and am thinking of getting a career in for a few times a week to persuade Mum to look after herself.
Has anyone out there any other ideas to assist me. I am a Man and my Mum will not listen to me. Thank you in advance for your help. Haygreen


We have found a trip to hair salon a welcome solution. (Now if there was only a shower salon!)
 

B Lewis

Registered User
Mar 13, 2017
1
0
Identical problem here with OH. Am researching ‘tiny wet room shower/toilet combi’, as he’s taken to med- equip raised toilet without protest. Have small downstairs cloakroom to convert, but think could be used in other small spaces. I am hoping sitting down and being spray showered will seem like pampering rather than hygiene. Best wishes to you. I think caring must be a more difficult task for a man to undertake.B x
Hi - WE had a very small wet room and it was a huge success - also look for a bidet Shower - this is highly controllable and helps with the loo too. A heated floor made it cosy and not cold on the feet as well. If you would like to read more you could look on the blog page of my website of LImon Attire. I have tried to write about the things that helped us when we were caring for our mum. All the best.
 

charles57

Registered User
Mar 4, 2013
1
0
I have not been able to get my wife's hair washed for a long time but I have found that she lets a carer use a shampoo cap which you place over the head and the shampoo is massaged in. These are obtainable from completecareshop.co.uk and can be used cold or warmed up for a few seconds in a microwave and they can be singly or in packs of 24.
 

Susan11

Registered User
Nov 18, 2018
5,064
0
I have not been able to get my wife's hair washed for a long time but I have found that she lets a carer use a shampoo cap which you place over the head and the shampoo is massaged in. These are obtainable from completecareshop.co.uk and can be used cold or warmed up for a few seconds in a microwave and they can be singly or in packs of 24.
There is also a shampoo called Nilaqua which is put directly on to the hair, rubbed in and then towelled dry and then hair can be drIed with a hairdryer or left to dry naturally.
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
3,618
0
I was able to wash dad's hair over the sink for a while but since his hospital stay he is too wobbly to stand there for long and he also insists that he has already washed it.

We are now experimenting with the trendy idea that hair self cleans after a while and only needs combing. It seems ok up to now but dad doesn't have a lot of hair.
 

Dootee

Registered User
Mar 8, 2016
31
0
Can some kind person advise me as I care for Mum who has not washed her hair for weeks and relatives are commenting on this. I cannot persuade her to wash her hair and am thinking of getting a career in for a few times a week to persuade Mum to look after herself.
Has anyone out there any other ideas to assist me. I am a Man and my Mum will not listen to me. Thank you in advance for your help. Haygreen


 

Dootee

Registered User
Mar 8, 2016
31
0
There is also a shampoo called Nilaqua which is put directly on to the hair, rubbed in and then towelled dry and then hair can be drIed with a hairdryer or left to dry naturally.
Can some kind person advise me as I care for Mum who has not washed her hair for weeks and relatives are commenting on this. I cannot persuade her to wash her hair and am thinking of getting a career in for a few times a week to persuade Mum to look after herself.
Has anyone out there any other ideas to assist me. I am a Man and my Mum will not listen to me. Thank you in advance for your help. Haygreen



Firstly this is very common. I went thru this with my mum. It takes a routine to get it done regularly. I found timing is important. I take breakfast to her in bed and she loves that. From there i coax her into the bathroom. There's usually a confrontation about already having had a wash etc but if i say we can't go out if you dont get bathed etc... its all systems go. It must be difficult for you as i dont think my brother could manage this. Do you have a female relative who could set the routine up? Or how about taking her the hairdressers once a week? Explain to them before you go the situation. They can wash it and style it ? Most hairdressers understand. Its good that you care. Good luck x
 

Dootee

Registered User
Mar 8, 2016
31
0
Sirena the suggestion you made about the shampoo was a good one.Thank you for your time and trouble considering my problem..haygreen
I too have the carers use that waterless shampoo in between regular washing .... until i can get there to bathe her fully x
 

Greenwellies

New member
Nov 11, 2017
5
0
Can some kind person advise me as I care for Mum who has not washed her hair for weeks and relatives are commenting on this. I cannot persuade her to wash her hair and am thinking of getting a career in for a few times a week to persuade Mum to look after herself.
Has anyone out there any other ideas to assist me. I am a Man and my Mum will not listen to me. Thank you in advance for your help. Haygreen


Hi. We battled with poor hygiene for a year or more, very unpleasant to live with. We now have a carer twice a week for one hour to shower mum and shampoo her hair. Things are much better, though not perfect. It seems the refusal to stay clean is a very common symptom, we got no help from the NHS. Our carer is private and wonderful. Good luck
 

Dootee

Registered User
Mar 8, 2016
31
0
Ah I hadn’t thought of this because he is still doing tasks like undoing screws etc little jobs in his shed I just assumed he would be able to do it
We have only had a diagnosis for a week, so bits and pieces are starting to fall into place, where we thought he was just being stubborn it now makes sense. All very much overloaded at the moment
Please take deep breaths. Please be kind to yourself. Reach out for help if you need it. You cant do this alone. Most of all reach for your compassion youll need that the most. They are fearful and scared and not the person you once knew. Take one day at a time. Thinking of you xx
 

Rach1985

Registered User
Jun 9, 2019
412
0
Please take deep breaths. Please be kind to yourself. Reach out for help if you need it. You cant do this alone. Most of all reach for your compassion youll need that the most. They are fearful and scared and not the person you once knew. Take one day at a time. Thinking of you xx

Yes I am starting to learn this, and learn a lot about myself too! I think compassion is the key
 

Dootee

Registered User
Mar 8, 2016
31
0
Yes I am starting to learn this, and learn a lot about myself too! I think compassion is the key
Yes compassion is key .... but i know how frustrating it all is. It really tests your patience. Ice learned a lot too about myself. But when i reach for my compassion and think mum is scared i just hug her tight and we sing and it fades. Its a bumpy road hold on tight x
 

Rach1985

Registered User
Jun 9, 2019
412
0
It is frustrating but then I realise how much harder it is for him. He was trying to tell us something the other day and he couldn’t find the word he wanted and he lightly in a kind of jokey way banged his head against the door and said my stupid brain. The heartbreaking part was seeing him trying to make us laugh even though it must be so scary for him. I don’t know sometimes if I’m doing right or wrong. Trying to help him find the right word so he can tell us what he wants, because then he gets frustrated that we don’t understand him. But then he also gets frustrated if we don’t help him. It’s a nasty disease
 

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