Thank you for your replies. Mum is in the overall care system so to speak. She has already fallen several times and on many occasions has been starving which I think has contributed to her feeling dizzy and falling. She insists that she can still cook and still eats well but that is just complete and utter rubbish. I go round as often as I can and cook meals or leave food that she can just pick up and eat without preparation or order her a takeaway but it is not enough. I work full time and live 45 mins drive away. Sometimes she just throws perfectly good food into the bin and the only time I know she eats is if I or someone else directly observes her eat. When she has food in front of her she wolfs it down and clears the plate.
She has just spent a week in hospital after a bad fall and is getting one lunchtime time visit a day now at home as part of the discharge process which she is grudgingly putting up with. This hospital home support is only for a couple of weeks and then I will need to put in a private care arrangement which in fact I'd already teed up but then mum went into hospital. The carers have already said to me they think my mum needs at least two visits a day but I know that if this was suggested now to my mum she would just refuse all the help and prevent the carers from entering her house altogether. So I am going to set up the private care arrangement and simply continue it on from the Temporary Hospital discharge arrangement and see if eventually my mum runs out of resistance to it. My biggest fear is that she's going to refuse them entry and have nothing to eat, fall etc. Hence my question about when does the state step in to say enough is enough. I cant cope with this turmoil much more, god knows how my mum faces each day. There is now a community mental health worker/social worker involved but it looks like the msntra is to respect the persons wishes until they literally fall.
My biggest fear is that she's going to refuse them entry and have nothing to eat, fall etc.
My mum is the same,a recent visit to the hospital made it clear she needed 24 hour care due to her wandering at night and the aggression they said it was up to me as i had power of attorney and left me to it,so many visit's to homes and assessment i found one which she is now at, she will not speak to me now say's it's my fault she is there and is very aggressive towards me i feel so guilty.My mum is 100% in denial about her needs. At what point does the state step in and say that she MUST have support visits?
Don’t feel guilty, you did what is best and at least she is safe now. Always try to think you’ve done the right thing, and that you’ve done it for a reasonMy mum is the same,a recent visit to the hospital made it clear she needed 24 hour care due to her wandering at night and the aggression they said it was up to me as i had power of attorney and left me to it,so many visit's to homes and assessment i found one which she is now at, she will not speak to me now say's it's my fault she is there and is very aggressive towards me i feel so guilty.
Thank you for your replies. Mum is in the overall care system so to speak. She has already fallen several times and on many occasions has been starving which I think has contributed to her feeling dizzy and falling. She insists that she can still cook and still eats well but that is just complete and utter rubbish. I go round as often as I can and cook meals or leave food that she can just pick up and eat without preparation or order her a takeaway but it is not enough. I work full time and live 45 mins drive away. Sometimes she just throws perfectly good food into the bin and the only time I know she eats is if I or someone else directly observes her eat. When she has food in front of her she wolfs it down and clears the plate.
She has just spent a week in hospital after a bad fall and is getting one lunchtime time visit a day now at home as part of the discharge process which she is grudgingly putting up with. This hospital home support is only for a couple of weeks and then I will need to put in a private care arrangement which in fact I'd already teed up but then mum went into hospital. The carers have already said to me they think my mum needs at least two visits a day but I know that if this was suggested now to my mum she would just refuse all the help and prevent the carers from entering her house altogether. So I am going to set up the private care arrangement and simply continue it on from the Temporary Hospital discharge arrangement and see if eventually my mum runs out of resistance to it. My biggest fear is that she's going to refuse them entry and have nothing to eat, fall etc. Hence my question about when does the state step in to say enough is enough. I cant cope with this turmoil much more, god knows how my mum faces each day. There is now a community mental health worker/social worker involved but it looks like the msntra is to respect the persons wishes until they literally fall.
it looks like the msntra is to respect the persons wishes until they literally fall.