Testing for Mum

Soop

New member
May 24, 2019
1
0
My Mum is showing signs of alzheimers-repeating herself, losing things,forgetting recent events etc. My brother's and I think she needs to be tested and diagnosed The trouble is Mum doesn't think there's anything wrong. How have other members coped with this?
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
7,342
0
Nottinghamshire
Hello @Soop and welcome to the forum.

This is a problem many members have faced. One of the suggestions I've seen is to get the person in for a wellness check but let the GP know what the real reason for the visit is beforehand. Could you send a letter or email to her GP asking them to call her in for a check up and list all the changes you have noticed in her and why you're concerned. Let the GP know that your mum is resistant to the idea of being tested for dementia and hopefully they'll be subtle.

I was lucky that my dad refered himself for initial diagnosis but as his illness progressed and he forgot anything was wrong with him I had to use subterfuge to get him to the Doctor's. Sometimes I could placate him by offering to take him for lunch or coffee and cake.

Now that you've found us keep posting. You'll find a wealth of information and support from the lovely people here.
 

Storm trooper

New member
Apr 20, 2019
6
0
My Mum is showing signs of alzheimers-repeating herself, losing things,forgetting recent events etc. My brother's and I think she needs to be tested and diagnosed The trouble is Mum doesn't think there's anything wrong. How have other members coped with this?
Hi soop and welcome

Yes my sister and I had the same dilemma, we spoke to her gp first to voice our concerns and ask for some advise, we decided to book mom a well women’s check up and whilst there the gp asked if we had any concerns at all (mom was telling the gp that she felt fine ) we then mentioned that we felt her memory was not too clever which at that she said (well yes it isn’t as good as it used to be but it happens to us all as we get older ( I wanted a big hole to swallow us up) even though it got us talking about her memory I felt awful that we had perhaps railroaded her there under false pretences (which we had) maybe book and chat with the gp and then book an apt but if possible mention to her that as your there for a check up it may be worth mentioning your memory isn’t as good as it was, and you would do it for me if the shoe was on the other foot and I wouldn’t be doing my job as your daughter if I wasn’t looking out for you!! That’s my only regret that I didn’t because it was heartbreaking to see my mom look so scared and so defensive it was horrible! On the good side though it did get her in the system and she did go to the memory clinic for her test and a head scan, that was then repeated one year on and we meet next week for the results hope that helps you sending hugs to you xx
 

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,324
0
We took my mother to an 'over 70s check up' - obviously, that gets round the "there's nothing wrong with me hurdle" as it's a general MOT for those of that age, and most elderly people are used to this idea as the GP tends to call them in from time to time for that type of thing. As others have said, you can send a brief note outlining the difficulties ahead of time. You could offer to accompany her and then go shopping/for tea afterwards if you think it would help.

Bear in mind that this will be the first of several appointments. In order to get a diagnosis there will be at least one appointment at the memory clinic, possibly more (and there is no disguising what the memory clinic is!) plus an MRI scan. So you will need use persuasion to accomplish that, and she will almost certainly need accompanying to get her to attend.
 

Lawson58

Registered User
Aug 1, 2014
4,331
0
Victoria, Australia
My GP and I had a really good chat about my OH and he got him to agree to being tested by challenging him to prove that I was wrong, that all the 'horrible' and 'untrue' things I said about him were all totally 'lies'. It took a couple of visits for the doctor to maneuver him into agreeing as things were very bad between us and he was very resistant to anything I thought or said.

It worked for him and maybe you could think of something similar to try.