well here i go mum was diagnosed with dementia 2 yrs ago after being hospitalised for colitis she had a very bad case of delirium and her whole personality changed she was aggressive shouting and refused treatment for several days .once all her medical needs were met she was discharged with very little support dad was alive then and had medical problems himself mum was his main carer so myself and sister took on his care as well unfortunately for us they didn't want our help and each time we introduced any thing it was turned down .sadly dad died suddenly just collapsed in front of mum and me and died . i don't think mum even cried then just sat there .since then we been looking after her we have carers in place for the morning to give her medication which is now locked up as she was forgetting she'd already taking her tablets and was taking more but she wont let them do any thing else she wont even shower .we have had social services in and they ask her if she needs help she says no so they leave ( they cant make her until she agrees she needs help) we have now roped our brother in to help one of us call there every evening after we finish work (yes we all have full time jobs) to cook her an evening meal tidy up an try to motivate her failing miserably to motivate we have tried jigsaw colouring sewing any thing to keep her occupied till we get there mum doesn't think shes ill we do our best. whats hard is the lack of support we as carer get .we tried to get mum into a day centre but there isn't any in our area only one that we have to take and stay with her not viable we work we have had numerous itu that in its self can be problematic and changes her behaviour yet again our gp not very sympathetic and trying to get a dip test done with them unless you go first thing in the morning which we cant cause again we are in work very difficult. i know we are lucky we have each other to help but after 2 yrs we are struggling and there is nothing and no one who will offer us anything unless mum agrees i just don't know what to do i know its not mum being difficult on purpose its this horrible disease but how can we convince her we need help to help her we want to keep her at home for as long as possible but its getting more and more difficult