Hi , I am new here, Thank you for letting me join.
I have recently had to place my Mother in a residential care home,
It's the hardest thing I have had to do so far. My Mother has Vascular Dementia and after a fall in her own home it was decided that she need full time care as she wonders during the night etc.
I was given a list of homes by mt local council , 5 in all.. After looking at the CQC reports we went to look at 2 that had the best report.
It's a real eye opener. There was just no way I could leave my Mum in these homes. Neither of them could garentee her safety. They both pointed out that as my Mum is mobile they could not garentee that they could get to her quickly in the night if they were dealing with someone else.
They pointed out Fire doors that she could get out of easily just by pushing the bar.
One home showed me her room and said to the left of her room was a fire door and the the right was a flight of stairs. This was on the second floor..
The second home said they had someone get out on the roof one night. They said they have to make the family aware of the risks..
Obviously I turned these homes down but I was then left with choosing lower CQC homes.
To cut a long story short we decided on a smaller home that seemed more secure.
My Mum has only been there 6 days.. obviously she is finding it hard to settle and I accept that but.
I visited yesterday and took her out for coffee, she told me she is scared of some of the staff, some are nice but she feels she has to keep quiet and keep her head down.
There is no entertainment and all they do is sit in the lounge.
I feel that my Mums mobiliywill just decline as there is no where to walk except to the dining room and back.
Or the garden and back.
Once we arrived back at the home I said I would do her hair for her.
I found that there was no hot water at the sink, then one of the Carers said oh you will only get hot water if you use the shower.
We had to Roll
Mums hair up in the lounge as there was nowhere else to do it, But this gave me some time to observe how things were.
There was another couple visiting their Mother in the lounge also.
I observed one particular member of staff speaking to a resident very harshly because she didn't eat all her dinner, The resident was quite obviously upset by her tone but did not retaliate, everyone else in the room just kept their eyes averted, the other couple looked at me and raised their eyebrows and shook their heads, I felt so bad for this lady and really had to bite my lip because I wanted to take the Carer to task over it but didn't want to make things bad for my Mum.
Once I had rolled my mums hair up we went to sit in the dining room . There was a carer popping in and out , once they all had their dinners the carer left. The room was so so quiet, nobody talked to each other.
One lady in a wheelchair hardly ate anything and another lady started to be really mean to another lady and got up and moved to a different seat next to a man and started leaning on him and getting anmorous with home, he clearly felt uncomfortable and tried to get her to stop but could not. The carer was nowhere to be seen. Eventually the carer came in to clear away the plates and again was very harsh on a resident that had not eaten much. He could not stick up for himself, I don't know if he was not able or he was to scared..
Ian just so so sad about it all and just don't know what to do or how to handle it without making it worse for my Mum. I felt there was just no compassion or patience from the staff.. sorry for the long post.
I did manage to speak to the other couple outside the home when we left.
They said their
Mum was moving to a nursing home very soon and they were very relieved as they were not happy with the home , but they were in the same position as me in that it was the best place they had seen compared to the others. This is the problem with non private homes.
I have recently had to place my Mother in a residential care home,
It's the hardest thing I have had to do so far. My Mother has Vascular Dementia and after a fall in her own home it was decided that she need full time care as she wonders during the night etc.
I was given a list of homes by mt local council , 5 in all.. After looking at the CQC reports we went to look at 2 that had the best report.
It's a real eye opener. There was just no way I could leave my Mum in these homes. Neither of them could garentee her safety. They both pointed out that as my Mum is mobile they could not garentee that they could get to her quickly in the night if they were dealing with someone else.
They pointed out Fire doors that she could get out of easily just by pushing the bar.
One home showed me her room and said to the left of her room was a fire door and the the right was a flight of stairs. This was on the second floor..
The second home said they had someone get out on the roof one night. They said they have to make the family aware of the risks..
Obviously I turned these homes down but I was then left with choosing lower CQC homes.
To cut a long story short we decided on a smaller home that seemed more secure.
My Mum has only been there 6 days.. obviously she is finding it hard to settle and I accept that but.
I visited yesterday and took her out for coffee, she told me she is scared of some of the staff, some are nice but she feels she has to keep quiet and keep her head down.
There is no entertainment and all they do is sit in the lounge.
I feel that my Mums mobiliywill just decline as there is no where to walk except to the dining room and back.
Or the garden and back.
Once we arrived back at the home I said I would do her hair for her.
I found that there was no hot water at the sink, then one of the Carers said oh you will only get hot water if you use the shower.
We had to Roll
Mums hair up in the lounge as there was nowhere else to do it, But this gave me some time to observe how things were.
There was another couple visiting their Mother in the lounge also.
I observed one particular member of staff speaking to a resident very harshly because she didn't eat all her dinner, The resident was quite obviously upset by her tone but did not retaliate, everyone else in the room just kept their eyes averted, the other couple looked at me and raised their eyebrows and shook their heads, I felt so bad for this lady and really had to bite my lip because I wanted to take the Carer to task over it but didn't want to make things bad for my Mum.
Once I had rolled my mums hair up we went to sit in the dining room . There was a carer popping in and out , once they all had their dinners the carer left. The room was so so quiet, nobody talked to each other.
One lady in a wheelchair hardly ate anything and another lady started to be really mean to another lady and got up and moved to a different seat next to a man and started leaning on him and getting anmorous with home, he clearly felt uncomfortable and tried to get her to stop but could not. The carer was nowhere to be seen. Eventually the carer came in to clear away the plates and again was very harsh on a resident that had not eaten much. He could not stick up for himself, I don't know if he was not able or he was to scared..
Ian just so so sad about it all and just don't know what to do or how to handle it without making it worse for my Mum. I felt there was just no compassion or patience from the staff.. sorry for the long post.
I did manage to speak to the other couple outside the home when we left.
They said their
Mum was moving to a nursing home very soon and they were very relieved as they were not happy with the home , but they were in the same position as me in that it was the best place they had seen compared to the others. This is the problem with non private homes.