My siblings and I are really in need of help. Our mother is 70 years old but looks like she is 40 (think JLo!). She continues to work part-time doing hairdressing in her home and because of her career, her appearance is always stunning.
Over the past year, our mother has had some memory lapses and at times, has also become disengaged in conversations, particularly in crowded situations. She prefers one on one conversation and seems fine engaging that way. However, about a year ago her family doctor suggested she see a geriatric specialist because she had stopped (forgot?) to take one of the medications (for cholesterol) that she must have since having a pacemaker put in about 10 years ago.
My recently retired 75 year old father also urged my mother to see the specialist because he believed my mother's forgetfulness was the result of dementia. At my father's urging the specialist tested my mother and concluded she had Stage 2 (very mild decline). My father was in the room when my mother was tested so I know she felt anxious about that. As such, I also took my mother to see a psychologist who checked her out alone without anyone else in the room. The psychologists assessment was that she couldn't see anything wrong with my mother except for having occasional "senior's moments". The psychologist also said that she "wished she would look as good as my mother at 70".
After we did this, we told my father and he didn't believe it. He was certain that my mother's cognitive abilities were fading fast. In fact, at Christmas, my father broke down crying saying that it has been "very hard for him" to look after my mother and that he has to do "everything in their household" cause my mother doesn't bother. Just last week, he wrote my siblings an email suggesting my mother's dementia was getting worse because:
1 ... not a day goes by without me asking what’s for dinner
2... mom has not TOUCHED the central vac in months
3.... she used to go to Costco once a week for the last 20 years but has not been there for the last 6 months. Today I suggested we go and drove her car. I asked her which way to go . She could not remember
4... we make a list together b4 she goes shopping 99% of the time she misses 4 or 5 items - her answer was“ bc the store did not have it“ and then she buys stuff that we do not need bc “you could not beat the price “
5...her hairdressing business has dropped more than 50% . Some of her clients are ill now or cannot drive . However, there are about 4 regular who for years used to come every week who do not come any more .Not sure how many others stopped coming. Times and days are screwed up . Always the clients fault.
In between clients she just walks up and down the hallway
6...she stopped going to the gym about 6 months ago so I finally axed her subscription 2 months ago
7... sometimes she cannot remember how to operate the tv remote
We are very concerned as my Dad is adamant that my mom has a problem that is going to put him in an early grave. He is very stressed. While my mom's memory is not sharp, my siblings and I don't think she is on the verge of Alzheimer despite what my Dad keeps saying.
Any thoughts or comments would be appreciated!
Over the past year, our mother has had some memory lapses and at times, has also become disengaged in conversations, particularly in crowded situations. She prefers one on one conversation and seems fine engaging that way. However, about a year ago her family doctor suggested she see a geriatric specialist because she had stopped (forgot?) to take one of the medications (for cholesterol) that she must have since having a pacemaker put in about 10 years ago.
My recently retired 75 year old father also urged my mother to see the specialist because he believed my mother's forgetfulness was the result of dementia. At my father's urging the specialist tested my mother and concluded she had Stage 2 (very mild decline). My father was in the room when my mother was tested so I know she felt anxious about that. As such, I also took my mother to see a psychologist who checked her out alone without anyone else in the room. The psychologists assessment was that she couldn't see anything wrong with my mother except for having occasional "senior's moments". The psychologist also said that she "wished she would look as good as my mother at 70".
After we did this, we told my father and he didn't believe it. He was certain that my mother's cognitive abilities were fading fast. In fact, at Christmas, my father broke down crying saying that it has been "very hard for him" to look after my mother and that he has to do "everything in their household" cause my mother doesn't bother. Just last week, he wrote my siblings an email suggesting my mother's dementia was getting worse because:
1 ... not a day goes by without me asking what’s for dinner
2... mom has not TOUCHED the central vac in months
3.... she used to go to Costco once a week for the last 20 years but has not been there for the last 6 months. Today I suggested we go and drove her car. I asked her which way to go . She could not remember
4... we make a list together b4 she goes shopping 99% of the time she misses 4 or 5 items - her answer was“ bc the store did not have it“ and then she buys stuff that we do not need bc “you could not beat the price “
5...her hairdressing business has dropped more than 50% . Some of her clients are ill now or cannot drive . However, there are about 4 regular who for years used to come every week who do not come any more .Not sure how many others stopped coming. Times and days are screwed up . Always the clients fault.
In between clients she just walks up and down the hallway
6...she stopped going to the gym about 6 months ago so I finally axed her subscription 2 months ago
7... sometimes she cannot remember how to operate the tv remote
We are very concerned as my Dad is adamant that my mom has a problem that is going to put him in an early grave. He is very stressed. While my mom's memory is not sharp, my siblings and I don't think she is on the verge of Alzheimer despite what my Dad keeps saying.
Any thoughts or comments would be appreciated!
