Ideas when visiting

[DianeB]

Have any of you got some ideas of positive things to do with your loved ones when you go to visit them please?

Visiting can be a strain and often a visit can be made into a very positive experience for our loved ones if we can occupy them rather than sitting there and conversation being difficult. I find this myself, with Mum hardly now talking, the way I cope is to pamaper her, which she loves and this in turn helps me, knowing that I am giving her some pleasure.

The things I have tried are

washing, drying and styling her hair
doing her nails
massaging her face neck and hands
sorting some simple things out like taking my cutlery tray and cutlery (minus knives) me washing and mum drying and sorting them out.
photo sorting and discussing
dusting little ornaments

I have read
playing snap
foot spa


There must be loads of ideas and suggestions that we can swop, can any of you help please?

 

[daughter]

Hi Diane,

I remember how difficult this can be from when I used to visit Dad in his care home. In the early day we would put two tables together and play table tennis - Dad amazed us at his dexterity! Dad also seemed to enjoy sweeping up the leaves outside in the Autumn. Mum would put music on in his room and we would all dance! It was always much easier with two of us visiting. Later on it was more difficult of course, and we often sat around a table with jenga or jigsaws etc.

Here's a few links to past posts that may help at different stages.

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/talkingpoint/discuss/showthread.php?t=8695

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/talkingpoint/discuss/showthread.php?t=947

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/talkingpoint/discuss/showthread.php?t=1395

Best wishes,

 

[heartbroken]

depending on the stage
Edna won't do anything now and won't let you pamper her I can't even talk to her she turns her head but we used to do


childrens jigsaws
snap
dominos
snakes and ladders
I have read the paper or book
look at old photo's
sort photos into a album

it was handy having a 8yrs old she used to sitt doing crafts and Edna loved watching her.


has anyone got anymore?

 

[Skye]

John loved colouring in, I bought him adult colouring books, things like geometric shapes, butterflies, fish, etc. Amazon has quite a variety.

They also have in his unit a selection on hand-held musical instruments, which they use one to one with them. Things like maraccas, xylophones, bells, etc. They put soft music on the record player, and encourage the residents to keep time. Some of them sing along. They all love it.

 

[Margaret W]

Mum will do none of these, never did, and isn't going to start now. It is deathly dull visiting her. "How are you?" "I am find but busy at work". "What work? Why are you busy? Tell them you can't do it". Er yes.

Margaret

 

[fearful fiona]

Before I found this thread, I just mentioned that there is a new little version of Scrabble out where you shake 12 cubes with letters onto the table and try and make up words. I know this wouldn't work for everyone, and in fact my Mum makes up most of the words, but at least we are doing something.

I sometimes take in simple crosswords, and of course am really doing them myself, but I pretend Mum is joining in (and beating me of course). Again it's just something to chat about really.

Otherwise it's a sort of Margaret W conversation, i.e.

Mum : Are you busy in the office (I work in a shop)
Me: Yes, very busy, it's the build up to Christmas, etc, etc
Mum : Are you busy then?

I rest my case.

 

[DianeB]

Although I have posted this on another thrread I thought it is ideal here

I was thinking of doing a scrap book with Mum, especially of places where she / we as a family have been too. This would give us something to talk about. Also I could put in pictures of food Mum taught me how to cook or bake.

 

[Lynne]

I just 'fell over' this thread ...

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/talkingpoint/discuss/showthread.php?p=104666#post104666 which has lots of ideas, some of which might be suitable for visiting.

The following link, in particular, is very good. You can download pages for ideas & tips.http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/retail_product_browse.php?product_id=10&category_id=2

It's so difficult when physical and/or mental abilities vary so much, and change during the course of the illness.
With Mum, I found it impossible to introduce anything new, however 'easy' it might seem; it had to be something she was already familiar with/good at from years gone by.
It has nothing to do with 'intelligence' as we usually think of it, but you have to be wary of high-lighting the LACK of an ability which used to be there, & unintentionally giving offence or hurt.

 

[DianeB]

Thank you for the links Lyanne. I totally agree with you about our loved ones ability. Also this thread is not intentionally meant to upset anybody who isn't able for vasious reasons not able to do these these with their loved ones.

 

[heartbroken]

I was thinking about this thread earlier and it came to me that I used to sit with my daughter cutting out pictures and sticking them in a scrap book we used to used holiday books christmas cataloges they was good to do a christmas present list only thing was my daughter wanted everything.