Getting to my wits end - and it's only just started !!
MY OH is showing classic, early signs - not yet diagnosed - but the symptoms are very clear.
He has always been an Impossible Person, very difficult to deal with - along with Narcisstic personality disorder as well - it's been a horrible combination for most of our marriage - and I've been subject (I now realise, too late - to much psychological bullying as well).
So that's one part of the problem.
The other is that he is going deaf; he doesn't hear clearly what I say; what he misses he guesses - or even invents - so that instead of having to repeat myself, I find myself having to say that I didn't say what he 'thought' I'd said - and then he accuses me of lying.
I suggested he go to have his ears syringed, as a first step, to getting his hearing sorted out.
He's refused point blank; I was subjected a whole tirade about not needing it, wouldn't go, and why was I always nagging, that no-one likes me, that no-one wiould live with me etc etc etc.
Came to a head on Saturday though.
We were out in public.
He was being very vague, not listening to me; it was a charity event, there were home cooked cakes and tea available. We'd paid for the cakes and tea, and then went outside tent to where the milk, sugar etc was available to be added to our cups. He just stands there, in the doorway, with a cup of black tea, with a teabag - this is a man who always has milk and 2 spoons of sugar in his tea. I told him once, then twice, then three times - that there was the milk and sugar.... and he just ignored me. I'm starting to shout at him, and getting very funny looks. In the end I just walked away, chose a table and chairs, waited for him to join me, and enjoyed my tea and cakes.
He sits down - with a cup of black tea - which he's drinking, with no sugar.
Something he has never, ever drunk before !!!
Later on he starts to lose his temper with me; I had told him to wait by the front door while I went to the loo - he ignored me; I told him again, in a louder voice - and he ignored me; I then shouted at him to wait for me.... and he then lashes out at me, hits me on my face - in public - in front of people.
He's much taller than I am, and physically still reasonably strong.
Having hit me once, in public, I'm now becoming very wary of what he might do in the privacy of our own home.
First step in physical violence towards me already taken place.
I have taken to carrying round a small voice recorder so that when he kicks off arguing and ranting, I have got some evidence of the way he is behaving - but of course I don't always have it on me.....
How do I cope ?
Martial arts ? !!
It's becoming a strain, find I'm in tears on several occasions now during the day, every day, for last few months.....
It takes a toll doesn't it ?
JayKay
MY OH is showing classic, early signs - not yet diagnosed - but the symptoms are very clear.
He has always been an Impossible Person, very difficult to deal with - along with Narcisstic personality disorder as well - it's been a horrible combination for most of our marriage - and I've been subject (I now realise, too late - to much psychological bullying as well).
So that's one part of the problem.
The other is that he is going deaf; he doesn't hear clearly what I say; what he misses he guesses - or even invents - so that instead of having to repeat myself, I find myself having to say that I didn't say what he 'thought' I'd said - and then he accuses me of lying.
I suggested he go to have his ears syringed, as a first step, to getting his hearing sorted out.
He's refused point blank; I was subjected a whole tirade about not needing it, wouldn't go, and why was I always nagging, that no-one likes me, that no-one wiould live with me etc etc etc.
Came to a head on Saturday though.
We were out in public.
He was being very vague, not listening to me; it was a charity event, there were home cooked cakes and tea available. We'd paid for the cakes and tea, and then went outside tent to where the milk, sugar etc was available to be added to our cups. He just stands there, in the doorway, with a cup of black tea, with a teabag - this is a man who always has milk and 2 spoons of sugar in his tea. I told him once, then twice, then three times - that there was the milk and sugar.... and he just ignored me. I'm starting to shout at him, and getting very funny looks. In the end I just walked away, chose a table and chairs, waited for him to join me, and enjoyed my tea and cakes.
He sits down - with a cup of black tea - which he's drinking, with no sugar.
Something he has never, ever drunk before !!!
Later on he starts to lose his temper with me; I had told him to wait by the front door while I went to the loo - he ignored me; I told him again, in a louder voice - and he ignored me; I then shouted at him to wait for me.... and he then lashes out at me, hits me on my face - in public - in front of people.
He's much taller than I am, and physically still reasonably strong.
Having hit me once, in public, I'm now becoming very wary of what he might do in the privacy of our own home.
First step in physical violence towards me already taken place.
I have taken to carrying round a small voice recorder so that when he kicks off arguing and ranting, I have got some evidence of the way he is behaving - but of course I don't always have it on me.....
How do I cope ?
Martial arts ? !!
It's becoming a strain, find I'm in tears on several occasions now during the day, every day, for last few months.....
It takes a toll doesn't it ?
JayKay
