Three weeks in ....

[Skylight99]

Hi everyone

Sending love to everyone posting and following this part of the forum.

My mum died on 11th April.

I would say she was at the early stages of moderate dementia. There had been signs since Christmas that her dementia was progressing and I was starting to think about the future and what she might need.

Then on 3rd April she had a massive stroke. She never regained consciousness and I spent the next 8 days in hospital with her.

On the death certificate there was no reference to Alzheimer’s as a pre-existing medical condition and that didn’t seem right to me as it has been part of her life for years and indeed part of mine. They added if on following me raising if.

I still feel like I am living in a parallel universe where it hasn’t happened. There is so much to be done and it’s not straightforward. Day by day I guess.

My stomach is in knots and is uncomfortable all the time. This has come out of the blue. I am worried about it but suspect it’s in my mind.

I was always thinking of the future - expecting my mum to deteriorate with respect to her dementia and preparing myself for that. I didn’t expect her to go so quickly.

 

[karaokePete]

Please accept my condolences.

I hope you can keep posting if you need support at this time.

 

[Skylight99]

Please accept my condolences.

I hope you can keep posting if you need support at this time.

Thank you - that’s good to know

 

[lis66]

So sorry for your loss skylight 99 xx

 

[Elle3]

Hi everyone

Sending love to everyone posting and following this part of the forum.

My mum died on 11th April.

I would say she was at the early stages of moderate dementia. There had been signs since Christmas that her dementia was progressing and I was starting to think about the future and what she might need.

Then on 3rd April she had a massive stroke. She never regained consciousness and I spent the next 8 days in hospital with her.

On the death certificate there was no reference to Alzheimer’s as a pre-existing medical condition and that didn’t seem right to me as it has been part of her life for years and indeed part of mine. They added if on following me raising if.

I still feel like I am living in a parallel universe where it hasn’t happened. There is so much to be done and it’s not straightforward. Day by day I guess.

My stomach is in knots and is uncomfortable all the time. This has come out of the blue. I am worried about it but suspect it’s in my mind.

I was always thinking of the future - expecting my mum to deteriorate with respect to her dementia and preparing myself for that. I didn’t expect her to go so quickly.

Hi Skylight, I am so sorry for your loss. My dad passed away quickly to on the 13th March, he also had had Dementia for quite some years but as my dad died from a heart attack, there was no mention of Dementia. I too felt this was wrong but there was nothing I could do about it as the Coroner passed the information straight to the Registrar.

Just take it all one day at a time. I can tell you having lots to do does help. I've now got to the stage of having nothing left to do other than apply to the bank to release my dad's money as I now have Grant of Probate and to be honest I really don't know what to do with myself now.

Take care. Elle x

 

[Babymare01]

I am so sorry Skylight for your loss.

There is no right or wrong on how we deal with our grief. And grief can hit you in many different ways and there is nothing wrong in saying " I am grieving". Maybe a chat with your doctor? Not nessercarily for pills or potions but just a chat. Maybe there is a local support group that can be there for you.

But there is also a wealth of support here as well.

Hugs to you xxx

 

[Kikki21]

Big hugs go out to you. It felt very weird for me to come back from our break & not go to see my mum at the care home. Actually we do need to go to the care home to pick up my mum’s possessions but i’ve not had the tone, chance or inclination to go if I am honest.
I know what you mean about the parallel universe but for sure. I’m better than I was as in the first month, my brain was seriously scrambled & i’ve not been thinking straight. I have got better but it is a slow process.

It’s all about being good & kind to yourself now & grief doesn’t pass in a moment but takes times xx

 

[Skylight99]

Thanks everyone - it’s testament to my own memory and general under pressure scattyness that it’s taken me this long to reply.

I am on my way back after my first house clearing weekend which actually wasn’t as bad as I thought. I took my time.

The saddest thing about today was that I had this weekend in Scotland booked already as we were going to a wartime memories event at The National Museum of Flight. I know my mum would have really enjoyed it and the weather was beautiful.

I did go to the doctors in the end and was prescribed diazepam, just a short course. I do feel better now in relation to that knotted feeling.

Hugs to all of you x

 

[Kikki21]

Thanks everyone - it’s testament to my own memory and general under pressure scattyness that it’s taken me this long to reply.

I am on my way back after my first house clearing weekend which actually wasn’t as bad as I thought. I took my time.

The saddest thing about today was that I had this weekend in Scotland booked already as we were going to a wartime memories event at The National Museum of Flight. I know my mum would have really enjoyed it and the weather was beautiful.

I did go to the doctors in the end and was prescribed diazepam, just a short course. I do feel better now in relation to that knotted feeling.

Hugs to all of you x

There’s no shame in having meds to help you cope. I have been pretty strong throughout this process but it is still feeling pretty weird & early days with it all. X

 

[Antkin]

Skylight my thoughts are with you.

My mum died in the afternoon of the 11th April she had suffered a stroke on 22nd March.

The doctor had put down on the medical certificate cause of death
1) stroke
2) dementia

Mum's funeral was on the 25th April.
My postings are mostly under End of Life Care

Peace be with you.