I don't really know quite why I'm posting other than to let off steam. I've been trying to cope with my mother's mental health issues and dementia for close to five years without any support. I have spoken to the doctor's several times, but because she passes the basic capacity test - month, year etc - they keep telling her 'there's absolutely nothing wrong with her mind'. Despite the fact that she is increasingly confused and forgetful and violent. It's the anger and violence I find so hard to cope with, and after so many years I'm close to breaking point.
This evening simply because I disagreed about a switch having been on or off, and only in a very conversational way, we had a major explosion which, as usual, resulted in her telling me she hates me, I'm vile, evil, selfish, horrible as well as hitting me repeatedly, clawing at my eyes and pushing me down the stairs. I'm not reacting as well as I should. I'm not violent or angry, but I've started to defend myself sometimes and that makes things worse. But it's so hard to listen to how much I'm hated, and sick in the head, and to be pushed down the stairs, quite frankly. I feel very close to being unwell myself now. But wherever I look for help, it never seems to be available.
The most recent was losing the opportunity for a visitor through the social prescribing service because although the doctor had referred my mother, because she doesn't have a formal diagnosis of dementia and because she - completely inaccurately - told them she has lots of friends and visitors (in fact we've had four this year, two of which stayed for less than ten minutes), she wasn't eligible.
I'm so desperate for help. I have notes left for me after an 'episode' telling me how vile I am, at great length as well as the verbal and physical violence. I'm not sure I have the resilience to keep going, but I just don't know what to do. I don't want my mother sectioned or carted off against her will, but nobody will offer me a gentle and kind alternative. So I'm left alone with it all. I have no family and no help at all.
Well, that's me finished and at least I've let off a little steam. Thank you for 'listening'.
This evening simply because I disagreed about a switch having been on or off, and only in a very conversational way, we had a major explosion which, as usual, resulted in her telling me she hates me, I'm vile, evil, selfish, horrible as well as hitting me repeatedly, clawing at my eyes and pushing me down the stairs. I'm not reacting as well as I should. I'm not violent or angry, but I've started to defend myself sometimes and that makes things worse. But it's so hard to listen to how much I'm hated, and sick in the head, and to be pushed down the stairs, quite frankly. I feel very close to being unwell myself now. But wherever I look for help, it never seems to be available.
The most recent was losing the opportunity for a visitor through the social prescribing service because although the doctor had referred my mother, because she doesn't have a formal diagnosis of dementia and because she - completely inaccurately - told them she has lots of friends and visitors (in fact we've had four this year, two of which stayed for less than ten minutes), she wasn't eligible.
I'm so desperate for help. I have notes left for me after an 'episode' telling me how vile I am, at great length as well as the verbal and physical violence. I'm not sure I have the resilience to keep going, but I just don't know what to do. I don't want my mother sectioned or carted off against her will, but nobody will offer me a gentle and kind alternative. So I'm left alone with it all. I have no family and no help at all.
Well, that's me finished and at least I've let off a little steam. Thank you for 'listening'.
