Mother recently diagnosed with early stage dementia

[Tracynb]

Hello,

I am brand new to this forum, and for the past month, I have sought help for my mother who was having problems with cognition, language, and memory issues. She was diagnosed last week with what appears to be the early stages of dementia, however, I am waiting for a referral to a geriatrician that can give an accurate diagnosis.

I have gone through every emotion possible, including sadness, anxiousness, anger, frustration, and anxiety, however, I am committed to making sure that my mother gets the help that she needs. Her GP overlooked her earlier symptoms of transit ischemic attacks (TIAs), and I had to push him to do a cognitive assessment on her. If I didn't step up and fight for my mother, I don't know what would have happened.

I am overwhelmed at times because I am an only child and my mother is the only family I have left. I am in denial, and am taking things day by day. I am seeing a therapist that is pushing me to see out community supports, and I am exhausted.

I came to the conclusion today that I am dealing with both grief and loss: the loss of the person that my mother used to be, and grieving the diagnosis. Unfortunately, my father died of dementia 15 years ago, and in a cruel fate of irony, my mother has the same condition. For the moment, my mother is able to live on her own, and has carers coming in twice a week to help her with personal care and housework. I am keeping in close contact with her care coordinator, and have all of the necessary legal paperwork, such as enduring power of attorney and her will in the event that she needs to be admitted to a care home.

Is there anyone else that is going through a similar experience?

Thank you.

Hi, I’m an only child and my mam has recently been diagnosed. I have been through all those emotions. I have been on the sick for months and have had talking therapy ( this helped me a lot) . I’m coping at the minute and looking into sheltered accommodation with extra care for my mam as she lives alone and could do with a bit off support and company. I have just gone back to work- will have to see how that goes.my mam telephones me 20+ times a day ( I am struggling with that ) it has been 60 times on one occasion. She has started on medication and i hope it helps her. I have learned that I need to look after myself as I will not be able to help my mam if I don’t. Self care is very important. I hope this helps you x

 

[lis66]

Hi I feel for you. I agree I think I’m grieving too. We have a carers centre where I live and am on a CRISP course that the Alzheimer’s society run which helps understand the illness and there are other carers on it so you get advise too. They have also offered me counselling and I believe there’s possibly bereavement counselling for loss although not bereaved yet! We all talked about grief as you feel you’ve lost someone you love. I’m struggling thinking I’ve lost the mum who was super mum and that tears me up. I too am new to this so happy to chat anytime.

So Hi that crisp course sounds very good and really beneficial,wish I had had a chance of getting that ,also the greiving councilling because that's how it feels to me ,I had councilling through my work which helped a bit ,but it doesn't take the heartbreak away from watching what this horrible disease does to the person you love

 

[Bollasm]

Hello,

I am brand new to this forum, and for the past month, I have sought help for my mother who was having problems with cognition, language, and memory issues. She was diagnosed last week with what appears to be the early stages of dementia, however, I am waiting for a referral to a geriatrician that can give an accurate diagnosis.

I have gone through every emotion possible, including sadness, anxiousness, anger, frustration, and anxiety, however, I am committed to making sure that my mother gets the help that she needs. Her GP overlooked her earlier symptoms of transit ischemic attacks (TIAs), and I had to push him to do a cognitive assessment on her. If I didn't step up and fight for my mother, I don't know what would have happened.

I am overwhelmed at times because I am an only child and my mother is the only family I have left. I am in denial, and am taking things day by day. I am seeing a therapist that is pushing me to see out community supports, and I am exhausted.

I came to the conclusion today that I am dealing with both grief and loss: the loss of the person that my mother used to be, and grieving the diagnosis. Unfortunately, my father died of dementia 15 years ago, and in a cruel fate of irony, my mother has the same condition. For the moment, my mother is able to live on her own, and has carers coming in twice a week to help her with personal care and housework. I am keeping in close contact with her care coordinator, and have all of the necessary legal paperwork, such as enduring power of attorney and her will in the event that she needs to be admitted to a care home.

Is there anyone else that is going through a similar experience?

Thank you.

 

[Bollasm]

Hi, I’m an only child and my mam has recently been diagnosed. I have been through all those emotions. I have been on the sick for months and have had talking therapy ( this helped me a lot) . I’m coping at the minute and looking into sheltered accommodation with extra care for my mam as she lives alone and could do with a bit off support and company. I have just gone back to work- will have to see how that goes.my mam telephones me 20+ times a day ( I am struggling with that ) it has been 60 times on one occasion. She has started on medication and i hope it helps her. I have learned that I need to look after myself as I will not be able to help my mam if I don’t. Self care is very important. I hope this helps you x

 

[Bollasm]

Hi I'm the same only child my mums my best friend but she refusing treatment and going through exactly the same but can not get diagnosis doctor refuses to help

 

[Bollasm]

hello just quick question mum in denial two refferals all cancelled beside myself with worry she has only mentioned to me "there is nothing wrong with my memory is there" she says we have kind of spoken to her but to be honest too worried how she can take the stress by telling her in the mean time gp not booking any more refferals even worse situation to be in

 

[Bollasm]

if you please give me advice leave this on my thread i will pick it up and information will be necessary in the mean time she gets worse

 

[canary]

Hi @Bollasm
Did you know that you have attached your posts at the end of someone elses thread?
Im guessing that this is the reason why you have not had any replies.
If you start your own thread more people with see it and you will get replies. This link will take you to the sub forum "Memory concerns ans seeking a diagnosis". Click on the blue button saying "post new thread" and away you go. Dont forget to click on "watch thread" so that you get notifications when someone posts in reply
https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forums/memory-concerns-and-seeking-a-diagnosis.26/

 

[Gladys1946]

hello just quick question mum in denial two refferals all cancelled beside myself with worry she has only mentioned to me "there is nothing wrong with my memory is there" she says we have kind of spoken to her but to be honest too worried how she can take the stress by telling her in the mean time gp not booking any more refferals even worse situation to be in

 

[Gladys1946]

My husband constantly says " they told me I have Alzheimer's but it doesn't affect me so it can't be that bad!" It's not the patient it affects but those of us caring for them. It's so hard. I try to continue to do my stuff but last week before my aerobics class I justs sat inin t car park and cried. It's awful. It makes you then feel guilty for not being patient with thrm but sadly that's the nature of this horrible disease.