Hi lilypat. You describe exactly how I feel/felt ! I've been through all the temper tantrums, the not wanting to talk etc. My OH is now living in. CH. When he was here, if we had visitors he would often just leave us all and go out and sit in the garden! If I was talking to friends on the phone, sometimes he would shout at me telling me to stop talking. I've often wondered if it's a sort of jealousy in that he didn't want anyone else having my attention. I also think that sometimes it's because he just can't cope with noise. He'll watch TV without the sound and refuses point blank to have the radio on. In the CH he stays in his room most of the time. He still does the sorts of things he did here. He puts his dressing gown on, summer ,& winter at about 2pm. He draws the curtains 4pm whether or not it's dark !! I go to him every other day. Sometimes I'm there at 2pm when I'm not working, other days I go after work. I'm not one who would sit & watch day time TV but as we don't have any conversation it's that or sit in silence !! Like you, I have to watch everything I say. It's so hard not to, ask a question. If I do it'll just be "I don't know why are you asking me" or it'll be yes or no, end of !! I can't mention home or the garden as it starts him off asking why can't he come home. I'm learning ways to deal with things though. I don't disagree with what he says, I go along with it because he's forgotten in a few minutes. I tell "love lies" because it causes him less anxiety. I don't visit him on Tuesday or Thursday but he thinks I'm at work. Because he goes to bed at around 6pm and when I visit I stay until 6pm, I tell him I'm working until 6pm so it's too late to visit. So far he accepts this. If I told him was doing my own thing on those days he'd keep on about why I don't go and spend the day with him ! It's so horrible having to be so devious. I'm taking him out for lunch tomorrow. Same place, same meal, fish & chips, woe betide me if they're not on, & then back to watch the snooker. He seems ok with that as it's slow & quiet. I'm getting to quite enjoy it too. One thing I really miss is a hug. If I try to give him one he shouts at me for pushing him !! It's horrible. He is so lovely to all the carers & visitors when I'm not there. Sometimes they'll tell me & I begin to question if I've done the right thing & perhaps he's not as bad as I think. Then I think back to this time last year. In & out of A&E 4 times in a few months so ,yes, as hard as it is, it is for the best. Sorry to have gone on. I don't reply very often so I've let myself go on rather !!! Take care.