Living with grief

[Elle3]

Thanks for replies. I do feel out my depth at times but like you say just trying to be there when needed is what I'm doing. Two of these friends are friends with each other so are able to also support each other as sadly they do know how each other feels. One cries a lot is unable to hold back, the other I haven't seen shed a single tear yet I know she is in pain. Stiff upper lip on the outside crumbling inside. My best friend is the most raw, it's only been 3 weeks. The loss of her hubbie was expected but the others were not. I am seeing grief in its many forms it is a humbling experience & my heart aches for them.
In own situation I am experiencing the loss of my mum bit by bit to dementia & when the end does come I know these friends will support me. Thankfully none of them has lost a loved one to dementia so far but that brings me back to what was said previously, until you have experienced loss in the same way then you just cannot understand what it really feels like.

You could be talking about my friends as their reactions to the loss of their husbands have been like your friends, so different and they are also both helping each other.

For me the recent sudden loss of my dad from a heart attack and not from the sufferance of a slow and difficult death that Dementia can sometimes bring has
been a relief. I know it’s the way he would have wanted to go. I’m taking comfort from that. X

 

[Baggybreeks]

Sending many hugs @Babymare01 i don't know how I would cope with that. I fear the pain of losing someone I love as much as the loss but if they were so far gone, in my heart I would also feel relief for them that their suffering is over. I don't know if it would help us cope any better or not. From what I've seen with my friends so far, sudden or expected, loss seems just as devastating.

I feel like I have grieved for my mum for so long. Whilst she is still with me she is far down the road of Dementia.
She hasn't recognised me for nigh on 5 years and now barely opens her eyes. I try and stay strong but then this overwhelming feeling of grief flows over me and I sob. I miss her so much and it tears me apart to see her has she is now. I often wonder how I will feel when that final day comes? Relief? Grief?

 

[Baggybreeks]

Babymare01,
It is such a difficult situation all you can do is hold her hand and talk or sing to her. There may be still something that comforts her and you, until the final day.
The night before my husband died in January, in the care home , I was singing to him, and all I can hope was that he was aware of me, and our son and daughter, with him.
Yes, relieved suffering was over but my grief goes on.
So no easy time ahead for you either. Just let friends know how you are feeling and hopefully you can get support.