Cruel comments

[St George]

Hi all,
My wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s just over a year ago, over the past few weeks, she has become more and more cruel with her comments about myself and our children, it’s getting that bad that it is making me ill, does anyone have any points on if this is normal, is there help out there,

 

[Grannie G]

My husband was the same before diagnosis and in the early years @St George. The comments were hurtful and often reduced me to tears.

He never made these comments to our son but did say hurtful things behind his back.

I`m afraid there was no stopping him. he was angry, upset and fearful and took it out on us.

It was a bit like the only form of defence was to attack. I feel for you.

 

[St George]

My husband was the same before diagnosis and in the early years @St George. The comments were hurtful and often reduced me to tears.

He never made these comments to our son but did say hurtful things behind his back.

I`m afraid there was no stopping him. he was angry, upset and fearful and took it out on us.

It was a bit like the only form of defence was to attack. I feel for you.

It is so hard, I know it’s the illness, I try not to react but there is only so much you can take, it’s getting to the point where I don’t like myself, but worse I’m starting to feel I don’t know the person that I lived with for over 40 years, I will stand by her and look after her for as long as I can, thanks for your comments.

 

[BluTinks]

I’m in same position but have psychiatric nurses plus social services believing my parent .
They don’t question me just believe her awful comments it will get worse unfortunately before anyone takes notice .
I’ve gone to my MP this afternoon.
I think it’s part of the illness but doesn’t help with all of the cutbacks

 

[mumsgone]

Hi St George although your wife may be making cruel comments which are very difficult to cope with look for the silver lining.Your wife is still able to communicate and in between the barbed comments there must be some lighter moments hold onto those and let the other ones go. take care xx

 

[marionq]

I’m in same position but have psychiatric nurses plus social services believing my parent .
They don’t question me just believe her awful comments it will get worse unfortunately before anyone takes notice .
I’ve gone to my MP this afternoon.
I think it’s part of the illness but doesn’t help with all of the cutbacks

I'm interested in your interview with your MP. How did it go? Can they help in any way?

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

Hi all,
My wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s just over a year ago, over the past few weeks, she has become more and more cruel with her comments about myself and our children, it’s getting that bad that it is making me ill, does anyone have any points on if this is normal, is there help out there,

I'm sorry to say that my mother is nasty too. In her case she says most of it to me rather than to the person's face. As soon as a carer leaves her room it starts: I can't stand that woman/stupid cow/she can't even read you know! The insults come thick and fast.

And it doesn't stop there. She slags off my father (died 20 years ago) saying he's off with a fancy woman, my brother ('don't know why I ever had him!') and even thinks there are two versions of me and will criticise the version who isn't present! (Oh that one - she just waltzes in whenever she likes! I never liked her.)

She says she's never met my children (not true!) but doesn't want to because they are 'useless'.

I know how you feel - it is very hurtful. Mum's always been a critical person and having dementia means she just doesn't hold back. One of the first clues I had about her having dementia was years ago when we took her on holiday. She was out of sorts and very difficult all week but one time we were shopping and she saw a young woman pushing a baby in a pram. Like many old ladies, she liked to 'coo' over babies and went over to the woman. Unfortunately she then turned to me and said - very loudly - 'My god! What an ugly baby!' The poor woman was devastated and I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me.

It's hard to like the person when they get like this

 

[St George]

Agree, don’t like who my wife has become, but I still love her to bits, learning to ignore as been my biggest problem, I am getting better, thanks for your thoughts.

 

[St George]

Hi St George although your wife may be making cruel comments which are very difficult to cope with look for the silver lining.Your wife is still able to communicate and in between the barbed comments there must be some lighter moments hold onto those and let the other ones go. take care xx

Yes your are right, today has been a good day after bad start, it was my granddaughters birthday so we all went out for a meal, really enjoyed it, so did my wife so yes there are silver moments, thanks for your comments.