It’s quite sometime since I posted ....... Dad is reaching 16 weeks of being detained under Section2/3 and is in a wonderful unit getting very good care. Despite this I’m just at rock bottom, it’s draining putting a brave face on, trying to function normally and keep up the stamina to visit each day and be positive whilst being with Dad. His illness is very demanding, and we have to expect the unexpected, we know he’ll never return home and it gets harder every day. I’m lost without him, I miss talking to him, miss his advice and miss his character. This illness is so cruel. I’m sorry for the meandering update. I don’t like to burden my friends with all of this so thank you for listening xx
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Struggling to cope
- Thread starter NIKNOK
- Start date
I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so low but take comfort from the fact that you dad is being so well looked after. This dreadful disease is like a slow bereavement, every day we lose a bit more of the person we love. It is hard but you will always carry with you your father's love & advice even if you can't be with him physically. Be kind to yourself, you don't have to put on a brave face all the time. Look after yourself. Thinking of you. Xxx
I don't have any advice to offer. I just want to wish you the strength you need in these circumstances.
Thankyou , it’s the little things that make a difference, thankyou xI don't have any advice to offer. I just want to wish you the strength you need in these circumstances.
NikNok.....so sorry you're under this enormous stress, I'm not in the same position but I know how much I would miss my own dad. I just wanted to send you a hug and tell you I'm thinking of you both. Would your dad realise if you didn't go in every day.....I realise you want to be with him but you also need to take care of yourself, so that you can be your best when you do see him x
Thankyou so much .... what a lovely reply thankyou. Just back from visiting and don’t plan to go now for a few days, my sister will visit tomorrow. I’m also going to look for some local support groups so will keep plodding on. Thankyou again and have a lovely evening .NikNok.....so sorry you're under this enormous stress, I'm not in the same position but I know how much I would miss my own dad. I just wanted to send you a hug and tell you I'm thinking of you both. Would your dad realise if you didn't go in every day.....I realise you want to be with him but you also need to take care of yourself, so that you can be your best when you do see him x
Hi NikNok sending hugs to you I know how you feel ,my mum has had AD for six years ,the last two she has progressed ,and you go through so many emotions anger despair guilt and wanting that person back so much I have had councilling which has helped a bit ,but it doesn't take the pain away of living with this horrundeous disease xx
My heart goes out to you. I can’t offer any practical help but just wanted to reach out. My father has dementia and is bedbound, rarely speaks, is doubly incontinent and now rarely opens his eyes. It breaks my heart when I sit with him, but I talk AT him non stop , recalling funny stories etc and on the rare occasions when he smiles (eyes closed!) it makes me so happy. I know it’s easy to say but I like to draw comfort from thinking that some of my talking (and whispering to him that I love him) goes in . I am sure the same goes for your dad. We have to cling to that. It’s so hard to see them as They are now, isn’t it, when we remember the amazing men they were. But I genuinely believe that talking and talking helps both dad and me. Hope that makes sense... sorry for rambling. X
hello @NellieNelson
just to say a warm welcome to TP
ramble away as much as you wish, that's what TP is for
your post totally makes sense ... they say hearing is the last sense to go, so I think your father will enjoy your chattering away to him, I used to witter away to dad and treasured any reaction I got too
just to say a warm welcome to TP
ramble away as much as you wish, that's what TP is for
your post totally makes sense ... they say hearing is the last sense to go, so I think your father will enjoy your chattering away to him, I used to witter away to dad and treasured any reaction I got too
hello @NellieNelson
just to say a warm welcome to TP
ramble away as much as you wish, that's what TP is for
your post totally makes sense ... they say hearing is the last sense to go, so I think your father will enjoy your chattering away to him, I used to witter away to dad and treasured any reaction I got too
hello @NellieNelson
just to say a warm welcome to TP
ramble away as much as you wish, that's what TP is for
your post totally makes sense ... they say hearing is the last sense to go, so I think your father will enjoy your chattering away to him, I used to witter away to dad and treasured any reaction I got too
hello @NellieNelson
just to say a warm welcome to TP
ramble away as much as you wish, that's what TP is for
your post totally makes sense ... they say hearing is the last sense to go, so I think your father will enjoy your chattering away to him, I used to witter away to dad and treasured any reaction I got too
Thank you so much. I didn’t know that so makes sense when he smiles but doesn’t speak. And thanks for the welcome. I joined because my mother now has Alzheimer’s too and felt I could do with looking at other people’s experiences.hello @NellieNelson
just to say a warm welcome to TP
ramble away as much as you wish, that's what TP is for
your post totally makes sense ... they say hearing is the last sense to go, so I think your father will enjoy your chattering away to him, I used to witter away to dad and treasured any reaction I got too
Many thanks
My heart goes out to you. I can’t offer any practical help but just wanted to reach out. My father has dementia and is bedbound, rarely speaks, is doubly incontinent and now rarely opens his eyes. It breaks my heart when I sit with him, but I talk AT him non stop , recalling funny stories etc and on the rare occasions when he smiles (eyes closed!) it makes me so happy. I know it’s easy to say but I like to draw comfort from thinking that some of my talking (and whispering to him that I love him) goes in . I am sure the same goes for your dad. We have to cling to that. It’s so hard to see them as They are now, isn’t it, when we remember the amazing men they were. But I genuinely believe that talking and talking helps both dad and me. Hope that makes sense... sorry for rambling. X
Hi there
I’m very sorry to hear about the situation with your dad, I’m told that deep inside there is still a connection and I’m sure that your dad absorbs everything you say to him. It’s very hard.
My dad is very agitated and this makes visiting doubly difficult-he smiled at my brother in law yesterday but I got a frustrated grumpy response - I pass this off as him realising that he can’t be the Dad that he was and it’s expressed in this unsettled agrivated behaviour. I have to walk away and cry all the way home in the car. My dad’s speech is very bad.
Are you looking after your dad at home?
No need to apologise for rambling ! Feel free to ramble away as it does help.
Take care xx
It is so hard isn't it? My mum hasn't known me for 4 years now. She barely opens her eyes now and is bedridden etc. I cry so many tears because I miss her so much. But somewhere deep inside me I keep finding a little strength to keep going. I sit and hold her hand and hope beyond all hope she knows Im there. Her carers have often told me she will know Im there.
Please never ever apologise for rambling - We all understand what you are going through. Not only can we give advice but we stand by your side through this journey.
Big hugs and strength x
Please never ever apologise for rambling - We all understand what you are going through. Not only can we give advice but we stand by your side through this journey.
Big hugs and strength x
Thank you for your response - how do our parents suffer this Illness yet go on day by day and in your mums case year by year? It really is a complex illness. We return the love that they gave us in our lives and that really is the best we can do. My poor dad is lost to this disease. I truly believe that your mum knows you and will feel the love and care that you give her... it’s easy to lose sight and it’s comforting to know that we are not on our own.It is so hard isn't it? My mum hasn't known me for 4 years now. She barely opens her eyes now and is bedridden etc. I cry so many tears because I miss her so much. But somewhere deep inside me I keep finding a little strength to keep going. I sit and hold her hand and hope beyond all hope she knows Im there. Her carers have often told me she will know Im there.
Please never ever apologise for rambling - We all understand what you are going through. Not only can we give advice but we stand by your side through this journey.
Big hugs and strength x
I hope you have a good week and that your dear Mum is settled and peaceful xx.
