Re-housing my mother with dementia.....

[Tessa Lim]

Hi. Just wondering if anyone out there has any wisdom to share on finding the right accomodation for my mother. She lives on The Isle of Mull in Scotland but can no longer live in her own home and needs to move down to Herts where i live.
I've been chasing up loads of leads but suddenly thought"What happens to people with no family to find and sort out their housing needs?" Surely there's a person/resource/dept or some way of doing this that doesn't mean being passed from pillar to post in the quest to find somewhere suitable for mum to ive?
I do know that at 70 she's nowhere near being ready for residential care -more sheltered care/Extra Care housing or equivalent.
please,please can anyone point me in the right direction?
Thanks.

 

[Lanie]

Have you tried your local Alzheimers Society that would be a good starting point, they are in a position to give you lots of information.

Lanie

 

[jenniferpa]

Social services in your area should be able to provide you with a list of licensed homes in your area - they can't make any recommendation but simply having all the phone numbers in one place can be a help.

While the AS helpline will be able to direct you to resources, they won't be able to make any specific home recommendations.

I found the elderly accommodation council site very useful http://www.housingcare.org/

I personally, chose an extra-care living situation that was attached to a nursing home - it was important to me that when the time came, Mummy wouldn't have to move far and the faces would be familiar. Also, I was 3500 miles away so any urgent move mould have been difficult. However, you may have different priorities.

 

[Morag Wild]

We have similar problems

Hi,

When I read your thread, I thought you had similar problems to myself.

I live in Sussex, my mum lives alone in Rothesay, Isle of Bute. She is now 77.

Six months ago we realised that mum could no longer live in the horrid council flat that she had lived for over thirty years. Apart from the fact that it was at the top of a very big hill, in a horrid council scheme. She was wondering around at night and getting picked up by the police all the time. She has slowly declined since my dad died in 2000. So we decided that she needed care. Like yourself, we felt that she wasn't at the residential care stage, although this may have been a selfish decision on our part as, maybe, we don't want to admit that mum should be in residential. Anyway, moving someone with alzheimers is very traumatic and the moving day was hard. I had to keep taking mum out in the car and going to the only cafe on the Isle of Bute that was open, for a cup of tea. The first few days in a new place is very hard. She kept looking into the bedroom and asking who slept there and could she go home now. So, I am saying to you, any move is difficult but sheltered housing is much better for your mum, especially as you are so far away.

My advice would be to contact the Social Services in Scotland and ask their advice. Also contact the social serivces in Herts. They will also advise you as there may be a waiting list. My mum was on the waiting list for a good few months, but the wait was well worth it as the warden looks after her and all the other residents watch her as well. I don't have to worry about her wondering at night. It is definately worth the trauma of moving. If you need to contact me personaly, I could give you my email address, not that I can help professionaly but we have similar problems.

It's very hard but this website has helped me cope.

M xx