Mum entering end of life stage

Antkin

Registered User
Mar 14, 2018
24
0
Bradford
Yesterday the doctor confirmed that my mother who had a stroke last Friday 22nd March 2019, was having to have help with her eating and drinking. When asked a straight question about end of life, he said that my mum was entering the end of life stage. The doctor wanted mum to return to the dementia residential care home so that she would be in familiar surroundings. This should happen today Thursday. After the news I cried partly upset and partly a relief. Yesterday a few Christians prayed with me and for my mum. I am thankful that I have the prayer support of my local church during this time.
 

Canadian Joanne

Registered User
Apr 8, 2005
17,710
0
70
Toronto, Canada
I know, I couldn't believe it when I was told that my mother had hours to days left. It just didn't make sense. My mother started a fever and died 9 days later. It was completely unexpected to me.
 

Antkin

Registered User
Mar 14, 2018
24
0
Bradford
I know, I couldn't believe it when I was told that my mother had hours to days left. It just didn't make sense. My mother started a fever and died 9 days later. It was completely unexpected to me.
I have read some wait 8 months or more, I don't know if mum has days or weeks will speak to the home manager tomorrow
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
I’m so sorry to hear your news. I have just gone through this with my mum & sadly she passed yesterday.
She entered the hospital on the 8th March with an infection somewhere & she didn’t respond to antibiotics & fluids. Then she contracted aspiration pneumonia as well. Both infections knocked her kidney function. Unfortunately with dementia, things tend to snowball & spiral out of control. Please get as much info as possible.
 

Antkin

Registered User
Mar 14, 2018
24
0
Bradford
I’m so sorry to hear your news. I have just gone through this with my mum & sadly she passed yesterday.
She entered the hospital on the 8th March with an infection somewhere & she didn’t respond to antibiotics & fluids. Then she contracted aspiration pneumonia as well. Both infections knocked her kidney function. Unfortunately with dementia, things tend to snowball & spiral out of control. Please get as much info as possible.

Sorry to hear of your mum's passing. I will ask more questions as a result of your post.
Multiple or cross infections seems to be a problem with a person with dementia as they are in a weaken state of health.
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
Sorry to hear of your mum's passing. I will ask more questions as a result of your post.
Multiple or cross infections seems to be a problem with a person with dementia as they are in a weaken state of health.

They very much do weaken a person with dementia, you then get everything escalating very quickly to life saving meds being withdrawn to end of life meds being given. No one knows how long someone will last so there are some people classes end of life that do live for some time after that prognosis.
 

joanne d

Registered User
Feb 9, 2013
44
0
Big hugs to you. I was in your position a few weeks ago. My mums funeral is on Tuesday, In my experience my mum lasted a couple of weeks after she stopped eating and drinking. Every day was a blessing and a curse at the same time. So many emotions. Mum died peacefully with me at her side. But it is still a difficult time going through this phase. Take care of yourself. xx
 

Antkin

Registered User
Mar 14, 2018
24
0
Bradford
Big hugs to you. I was in your position a few weeks ago. My mums funeral is on Tuesday, In my experience my mum lasted a couple of weeks after she stopped eating and drinking. Every day was a blessing and a curse at the same time. So many emotions. Mum died peacefully with me at her side. But it is still a difficult time going through this phase. Take care of yourself. xx

Thank you for your post. My heart goes out to you at this time. Your many emotions are exactly what I am feeling at the moment. I have heard that they can offer drink on a sponge stick as an aid until a person gives up drinking. I hope to know more tomorrow when I ask questions of the care home manager. Mum said "a bunch of flowers" months ago and I have sent her flowers every month since, these little memories see me through each week. Now I am supported in prayer by Clayton Gospel Hall members which is a blessing at this time.
 

Antkin

Registered User
Mar 14, 2018
24
0
Bradford
I have read some wait 8 months or more, I don't know if mum has days or weeks will speak to the home manager tomorrow

My heart goes out to you in your loss, the first and second posts by you was welcome yet I feel I did not offer equal support to you at this time. Sorry I did not mean to be less than understanding. As more and more people reply I understand that there are at this time of life and death stage with their mum.
 

Gingerbird

New member
Apr 4, 2019
1
0
I have read some wait 8 months or more, I don't know if mum has days or weeks will speak to the home manager tomorrow
We were told with mum in March 19 we had days to weeks left with her. May last year she seemed to have a fit, but after that brightened up. Doc then changed estimate to weeks to months but less than a year.
We think we are now getting towards the end, but docs don't really want to commit themselves to any time scale.
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
Thank you for your post. My heart goes out to you at this time. Your many emotions are exactly what I am feeling at the moment. I have heard that they can offer drink on a sponge stick as an aid until a person gives up drinking. I hope to know more tomorrow when I ask questions of the care home manager. Mum said "a bunch of flowers" months ago and I have sent her flowers every month since, these little memories see me through each week. Now I am supported in prayer by Clayton Gospel Hall members which is a blessing at this time.

A lot of people will even reject the sponge as well. My mum didn’t like it at all. The thing was bile was rising up & the nurse had to suck the bile out with a tube machine. It was ok, my mum tolerated it. I got my mum to eat & drink on Sunday but very, very small amounts. That was the last time. She was then really sleepy & out of it. Hopefully you will gain your answers soon.
 

Antkin

Registered User
Mar 14, 2018
24
0
Bradford
We were told with mum in March 19 we had days to weeks left with her. May last year she seemed to have a fit, but after that brightened up. Doc then changed estimate to weeks to months but less than a year.
We think we are now getting towards the end, but docs don't really want to commit themselves to any time scale.

Thank you for your post, this is not the case with my mum. She has been none by mouth for two weeks now, I am visiting every day and was told by two people that mum has days left.
 

Antkin

Registered User
Mar 14, 2018
24
0
Bradford
A lot of people will even reject the sponge as well. My mum didn’t like it at all. The thing was bile was rising up & the nurse had to suck the bile out with a tube machine. It was ok, my mum tolerated it. I got my mum to eat & drink on Sunday but very, very small amounts. That was the last time. She was then really sleepy & out of it. Hopefully you will gain your answers soon.

Thank you for your post, I have been told the care homes cannot use sponges anymore due to somebody dying after they swallowed the sponge. I am visiting every day and taking one day at a time.
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
Thank you for your post, I have been told the care homes cannot use sponges anymore due to somebody dying after they swallowed the sponge. I am visiting every day and taking one day at a time.

Oh bless you. If your mum has not had anything for 2 weeks now then her system will be very weak. Is she on any meds at all?
 

Antkin

Registered User
Mar 14, 2018
24
0
Bradford
Oh bless you. If your mum has not had anything for 2 weeks now then her system will be very weak. Is she on any meds at all?

Taken off meds a week ago. She still arm wrestles when I hold mums hand. Staff say mum is a tough old bird.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
(((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))
This wait is always the hardest.
Some people seem to go on for longer than you would ever think is possible.
You will know when you are getting to the very end as her breathing will change with long gaps.
 

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