Just when you think.....

[Unhappy15]

Just when you think you have it under control and have come to terms with this disease and the situation you find yourself in, boy can it come back and bite you.

My husband has been in care for three and a half years, he is in a nice home and is very settled. Although he seems to know me and smiles when I go in every day he seldom speaks. Today we were sitting in his room together as usual when he pointed to the soft toy dog on his bed, we call him 'hug me' because he has a little jumper on with that on the front. When I gave it to him he stroked its head and then kissed it so gently and just cuddled it.
Since then I just cannot control the tears, I just want him to come home, I want our life back but most of all I hate this illness with all my heart and the pain it causes is unimaginable.

 

[SaraKate]

Poor you, poor you, this is so painful. I cannot imagine how distressed you must be and I agree with you completely, this is a terrible terrible illness, and like everyone else in the world, I had no idea how terrible it was until it came into my life and now I realise it is a fatal pain.
At least your husband has some happiness? At least he feels tenderness and can seek and get comfort from 'Hug Me'. Can you get a matching dog for you to hug and then you could swap them occasionally? So you could share hugs?
Sending a hug to you, anyway, you're not alone

 

[canary]

The grief monster can come out and slap you when you least expect it.

We are constantly grieving - the loss of our LO, the loss of relationship, the loss of our old lives and the loss of our dreams.

 

[Unhappy15]

Dear SaraKate,
Thank you for your kind thoughts and hug.
It's just so hard when you remember the person as they were, my husband crashed through life. When I think of him as he was the phrase 'large as life and twice as nasty' springs to mind, but you knew he was there, never to be ignored.
The man I knew would hate to see himself as he is and the only consolation is that he seems content in his own world, but what haunts me is he really content but can't communicate otherwise if he is not.
Still I suppose he still has 'Hug me'.
Kathy xx

 

[lilypat]

words I have none tears I have loads and hugs I send you x