I’ve been thinking, and wondered what others thought.
A short visit each day or less frequent long visits?
I know of family that do both of the above, what do you think?
Same here Jale, Mum forgets we’ve been to see her too. I know she is happy when I’m with her. She went into a care home on the 29 June 2018.We visit every day for about an hour - mum has been in a home since September '18. She doesn't remember that we have been, she is convinced that we never visit. I found that when we stayed longer it was harder to leave
hen I visit my mum sometime she only wants to sleep. I take her things to look at like plants. If I’m talking about one of her grandchildren I show her the photos of them on my phone so she knows for a moment who I’m talking about.Same here Jale, Mum forgets we’ve been to see her too. I know she is happy when I’m with her. She went into a care home on the 29 June 2018.
@Sirena oh, that's exactly where I am with my mum. After 2 years of twice weekly visits I've cut it down to once a week and find even that really hard. But I know she'd love for me to go every day and stay all day as she doesn't socialise with anyone in the home (apart from frequent staff bothering.)
Like you, I was never close to my mother - I've seen far more of her in the last 3 years than in the previous 40. And I've done more for her in that time than she did for me in the last 50 years. But hey ho - it is what it is and I do what I can. But I can't pretend she's my 'lovely old mum' because she was never that.
I’ve been thinking, and wondered what others thought.
A short visit each day or less frequent long visits?
I know of family that do both of the above, what do you think?
Hi please do not feel guilty. I coped with my Mum by slipping away when she fell asleep or by saying I was going to make a cuppa but left instead. She forgot I was there and so still stayed happy. It’s about making the person happy so they had enjoyed their day. My Husband went into a Home in September and I do the same thing. Hope this helpsW
hen I visit my mum sometime she only wants to sleep. I take her things to look at like plants. If I’m talking about one of her grandchildren I show her the photos of them on my phone so she knows for a moment who I’m talking about.
Leaving is the horrible part as she always wants to come with me. I feel guilty if I don’t go to see her. Guilty for leaving her in the care home. Most times I just sit in my car and cry.
Maisie you're doing a great job by visiting - please dont feel guilty. My dad is still at home and even I sit in the car and cry when I leave, have done for a couple of years now. Its a tough time and there's lots of us going through it. Sending a large virtual hug.W
hen I visit my mum sometime she only wants to sleep. I take her things to look at like plants. If I’m talking about one of her grandchildren I show her the photos of them on my phone so she knows for a moment who I’m talking about.
Leaving is the horrible part as she always wants to come with me. I feel guilty if I don’t go to see her. Guilty for leaving her in the care home. Most times I just sit in my car and cry.