Mum

jem80s

Registered User
Jul 22, 2015
8
0
Hi everyone,

Mum is 90 years old and has been in a dementia wing of a care home since September last year as healthcare professionals said she was no longer able to live at home on her own (she had a severe UTI - they thought stroke but ruled that out - which caused her to lose some mobility in her legs). Since Christmas she has been in hospital 3 times with UTI's and once with pneumonia. It's like a giant step back in her dementia/general wellbeing when this happens. Since coming out of hospital last week, she has been bedridden as she does not have the strength to stand up. Mum also has advanced stage heart failure. Mum has been sleeping a lot but eating pureed food not too bad but still taking fluids. Doubly incontinent and didn't recognize me as her daughter yesterday. Her medication has been stopped as they are worried about her choking. The dr has said that mum isn't at end of life - is that because she is still eating/drinking something?

Hugs to you all
jx
 

YorkshireLass

Registered User
Feb 15, 2017
222
0
Ilkley
Hi everyone,

Mum is 90 years old and has been in a dementia wing of a care home since September last year as healthcare professionals said she was no longer able to live at home on her own (she had a severe UTI - they thought stroke but ruled that out - which caused her to lose some mobility in her legs). Since Christmas she has been in hospital 3 times with UTI's and once with pneumonia. It's like a giant step back in her dementia/general wellbeing when this happens. Since coming out of hospital last week, she has been bedridden as she does not have the strength to stand up. Mum also has advanced stage heart failure. Mum has been sleeping a lot but eating pureed food not too bad but still taking fluids. Doubly incontinent and didn't recognize me as her daughter yesterday. Her medication has been stopped as they are worried about her choking. The dr has said that mum isn't at end of life - is that because she is still eating/drinking something?

Hugs to you all
jx
This disease is so cruel. I honestly don't understand the whole end of life situation. Exactly one year ago I returned from holiday (the first in 3 years) after 3 days as the GP phoned me and said my mum was probably end of life and it all could happen quite quickly. I managed to get back that day and here I am now still sitting with mum in the care home every afternoon since on this rubbish roller-coaster. Thinking of you and sending a hug xxxxx
 

jem80s

Registered User
Jul 22, 2015
8
0
This disease is so cruel. I honestly don't understand the whole end of life situation. Exactly one year ago I returned from holiday (the first in 3 years) after 3 days as the GP phoned me and said my mum was probably end of life and it all could happen quite quickly. I managed to get back that day and here I am now still sitting with mum in the care home every afternoon since on this rubbish roller-coaster. Thinking of you and sending a hug xxxxx
Hi YorkshireLass, you are so right when you say it's a rollercoaster - everything else gets put on hold while we and our mums are in limbo. Sending you back a big hug xx
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
@jem80s honestly I am also with you on this journey. My mum has been in hospital since the 8th March. She was admitted with an infection somewhere, probably her leg ( had cellulitis for years) kidneys also having a bad time of it & already diseased. She wasn’t responding to fluids or antibiotics much at all.
Then has aspiration pneumonia on top of everything else. Kidneys getting worse. Decision was made to put her on end of life meds yesterday.

Most of yesterday, she was sleeping & not very responsive. Got into hospital this morning to find that she was responsive, trying to talk, asking for tea & eating yoghurt. Such an absolute head turning thing that I could barely cope with it all. Xx
 

jem80s

Registered User
Jul 22, 2015
8
0
@jem80s honestly I am also with you on this journey. My mum has been in hospital since the 8th March. She was admitted with an infection somewhere, probably her leg ( had cellulitis for years) kidneys also having a bad time of it & already diseased. She wasn’t responding to fluids or antibiotics much at all.
Then has aspiration pneumonia on top of everything else. Kidneys getting worse. Decision was made to put her on end of life meds yesterday.

Most of yesterday, she was sleeping & not very responsive. Got into hospital this morning to find that she was responsive, trying to talk, asking for tea & eating yoghurt. Such an absolute head turning thing that I could barely cope with it all. Xx
Hi Kikki21, seriously like you say it's a complete headspinner. Yesterday afternoon mum was sat in the chair next to her bed - completely threw me when I walked in - as she'd been bedridden since coming out of hospital. Although she kept nodding off and then had to be hoisted into bed where she slept as it had completely worn her out. I phoned care home this morning and she is back in bed all day and hardly eating anything. Sending you big hugs, as you also travel this road with your mum xx
 

Timeout

Registered User
Feb 10, 2012
204
0
Yep, I can sympathise, my mum was put on end of life care over 3 years ago, she rallied but remained mostly bedbound since, she became very poorly last summer and again it looked like the end was nigh but no, she’s still here. It’s so hard to cope with, i hope all our mums find peace soon.
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
This is what is so awful, the rallying & getting better because of course you want your loved one to get better. You think they are in hospital so they should get better although that isn’t my experience of hospitals but better in a dementia way isn’t really better, it is just a different existence.
Maybe people with dementia have extra strong hearts to be able to come back from the brink time & time again xx
 

jem80s

Registered User
Jul 22, 2015
8
0
Yep, I can sympathise, my mum was put on end of life care over 3 years ago, she rallied but remained mostly bedbound since, she became very poorly last summer and again it looked like the end was nigh but no, she’s still here. It’s so hard to cope with, i hope all our mums find peace soon.
Hi Timeout - 3 years ago...it's so crazy isn't it :( xx
 

jem80s

Registered User
Jul 22, 2015
8
0
@jem80s how are things with you & your mum?
My mum is still in a rally. I’m just getting ready to go to the hospital x
Hi Kikki21, how was your mum yesterday? Mum had eaten very little yesterday and only taken sips of liquid. She looks so small in the bed :( xx
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
Hi Kikki21, how was your mum yesterday? Mum had eaten very little yesterday and only taken sips of liquid. She looks so small in the bed :( xx

Ditto really for yesterday @jem80s she had only a bit of yoghurt, soup & ice cream. She seemed to be having difficulty swallowing & liquid kept spilling out of her mouth. She didn’t like the mouth brush thing too much either but she seems to want water. My mum is tiny anyway but I know what you mean about looking so small in the bed. From the rally of the day before, we went back to how things were the other day xx