Advanced Mixed Dementia confirmed for my Dad

[Caligirl]

I am so so sad the Memory Clinic came out and confirmed Advanced Mixed Dementia diagnosis for my Dad yesterday. Whilst we knew he had dementia to be told it was advanced was so sad to hear. He will be 89 in May and I know we are lucky to still have him but I am heartbroken that my Dad who was the kindest, most loving, a huge joker and just the nicest man has to endure this cruel cruel disease. I live a few hours or more from him and I wish I could do more but as a family we have all rallied together and do different roles for him. I am thankful that I have such an amazing niece who is my rock. I don't know how long he has left and in some ways I wish he could for him go peacefully in his sleep before losing his mobility etc But I dont want to lose him either. How has everyone else coped? I am sat here in tears as my Dad is still here but slipping away from me. Sorry for long post.

 

[Izzy]

I'm so sorry to read your post. It is indeed incredibly sad and I'm not at all surprised that you are upset.

Speaking for myself I just seemed to cope. Once over the initial shock of diagnosis it seemed that from somewhere I got the strength to carry on. It wasn't always easy but I have to say that the support I got from this forum was invaluable. I'm sure you will find the same. I'm glad that your family has rallied round.

Wishing you strength.

 

[Duggies-girl]

I am so so sad the Memory Clinic came out and confirmed Advanced Mixed Dementia diagnosis for my Dad yesterday. Whilst we knew he had dementia to be told it was advanced was so sad to hear. He will be 89 in May and I know we are lucky to still have him but I am heartbroken that my Dad who was the kindest, most loving, a huge joker and just the nicest man has to endure this cruel cruel disease. I live a few hours or more from him and I wish I could do more but as a family we have all rallied together and do different roles for him. I am thankful that I have such an amazing niece who is my rock. I don't know how long he has left and in some ways I wish he could for him go peacefully in his sleep before losing his mobility etc But I dont want to lose him either. How has everyone else coped? I am sat here in tears as my Dad is still here but slipping away from me. Sorry for long post.

Hi @Caligirl My dad has had alzheimers for at least 7 years and he too has his 89th birthday coming up soon. It is heartbreaking but my one consolation is that my dad hasn't a clue that he is ill and he thinks he can do anything.

Up until recently we were doing fine with me helping dad daily and dad still in his own home but after a bout of pneumonia and a three week stay in hospital it is now impossible for dad to stay in his own home alone. I have had to move in with him as his decline has been quite severe.

Dad who was previously very comfortable in his own home, now has to be directed to his bathroom and kitchen. At least he is still continent, the last dignity I suppose. He now has a frame for walking and is doing well with that but the memory is the real problem here. We do still have a laugh though as dad has somehow retained his wit.

I too wish that dad would just pass away in his sleep but I doubt that will happen. He has beaten pneumonia plus a heart attack and a stroke while in hospital, lost two stone in weight and still come back fighting. I wonder how people can be so strong sometimes and I don't consider dad lucky to have survived these things as he has an advanced cancer as well to worry about.

Your dad may live a lot longer than you expect and then again he may die sooner. It is a horrible part of life and is far harder for the carers than the person being cared for. I can't help you here other than to say just accept it for what it is. You can't fight the disease but you can try to make his remaining time as good as it can be. That is what I have been trying to do but it is very hard.

Wishing you lots of strength and some laughter too.

 

[Caligirl]

I'm so sorry to read your post. It is indeed incredibly sad and I'm not at all surprised that you are upset.

Speaking for myself I just seemed to cope. Once over the initial shock of diagnosis it seemed that from somewhere I got the strength to carry on. It wasn't always easy but I have to say that the support I got from this forum was invaluable. I'm sure you will find the same. I'm glad that your family has rallied round.

Wishing you strength.

Thank you. Yes this forum has been amazing already with all the Deputyship questions I have had.

 

[Caligirl]

Hi @Caligirl My dad has had alzheimers for at least 7 years and he too has his 89th birthday coming up soon. It is heartbreaking but my one consolation is that my dad hasn't a clue that he is ill and he thinks he can do anything.

Up until recently we were doing fine with me helping dad daily and dad still in his own home but after a bout of pneumonia and a three week stay in hospital it is now impossible for dad to stay in his own home alone. I have had to move in with him as his decline has been quite severe.

Dad who was previously very comfortable in his own home, now has to be directed to his bathroom and kitchen. At least he is still continent, the last dignity I suppose. He now has a frame for walking and is doing well with that but the memory is the real problem here. We do still have a laugh though as dad has somehow retained his wit.

I too wish that dad would just pass away in his sleep but I doubt that will happen. He has beaten pneumonia plus a heart attack and a stroke while in hospital, lost two stone in weight and still come back fighting. I wonder how people can be so strong sometimes and I don't consider dad lucky to have survived these things as he has an advanced cancer as well to worry about.

Your dad may live a lot longer than you expect and then again he may die sooner. It is a horrible part of life and is far harder for the carers than the person being cared for. I can't help you here other than to say just accept it for what it is. You can't fight the disease but you can try to make his remaining time as good as it can be. That is what I have been trying to do but it is very hard.

Wishing you lots of strength and some laughter too.

Hi @Caligirl My dad has had alzheimers for at least 7 years and he too has his 89th birthday coming up soon. It is heartbreaking but my one consolation is that my dad hasn't a clue that he is ill and he thinks he can do anything.

Up until recently we were doing fine with me helping dad daily and dad still in his own home but after a bout of pneumonia and a three week stay in hospital it is now impossible for dad to stay in his own home alone. I have had to move in with him as his decline has been quite severe.

Dad who was previously very comfortable in his own home, now has to be directed to his bathroom and kitchen. At least he is still continent, the last dignity I suppose. He now has a frame for walking and is doing well with that but the memory is the real problem here. We do still have a laugh though as dad has somehow retained his wit.

I too wish that dad would just pass away in his sleep but I doubt that will happen. He has beaten pneumonia plus a heart attack and a stroke while in hospital, lost two stone in weight and still come back fighting. I wonder how people can be so strong sometimes and I don't consider dad lucky to have survived these things as he has an advanced cancer as well to worry about.

Your dad may live a lot longer than you expect and then again he may die sooner. It is a horrible part of life and is far harder for the carers than the person being cared for. I can't help you here other than to say just accept it for what it is. You can't fight the disease but you can try to make his remaining time as good as it can be. That is what I have been trying to do but it is very hard.

Wishing you lots of strength and some laughter too.

Hi. Sounds like you and I are walking the same path. My Dad was fine until October muddling along with my niece and sister going to help and me too when back home. He then had 2 stays in hospital after a few falls and all changed. He now has carers 4 times a day. Like your Dad he isnt incontinent yet and I say yet as we know it may come. It doesnt help my Dad is deaf too so your never sure if he didnt hear or understand. I just want whatever time he has left to be as happy as it can be. I know he would hate all this us seeing him reduced to half his former self. I selfishly hate that my Dad is here but not the Dad I had all my life, if that makes sense. I love him so so much. He was not eating much but we seemed to have turned that round a bit with some fab carers and us as a family encouraging him. I wish you and your Dad all the best too and wish you love and laughter also, as they I know would hate to see us sad.