Hello and my sympathies and thoughts go out to you all who have experienced a death.
I can only say I am slightly ahead of you in time, yet also right by your side as we are both in the early days.
My Mom died upstairs in her bedroom peacefully on the 9th February, the funeral was beautiful if you can link those words together. Lots of flowers, people, hugging, crying and above all laughing. On Tuesday we lay Mom to rest alongside Dad.
I am at times lost,at times relieved, a lot of the time I am fine because I know we did everything as children that we could, each of us doing what we could do, at others I find myself welling up. I am sure I should be doing something most of the time even when out walking the dog I find myself catching myself when the thought hits my head, and it hits me directly in the stomach. But each and every time.
My plans are loose I want a holiday and will go on one or two. I will return to work earlier than I planned I took a years career break to look after Mom back in Dec. Mostly to regain some sort of "order" to my day. I find I sleep well in fact almost too well but mundane things are lovely,
they require no thought.
I have kept myself busy so to speak papering the hall stairs and landing as well as having new stair landing carpet fitted. Having removed the handrails etc Mom needed in the bedroom I have decided to redecorate the room.
My thoughts are with you KathrynAnne. It is hard it is heart breaking but we have done all we can and because of that we will come out the other side.