For some time I've sat in the bathroom while my husband has a walk-in shower. I have to prompt him to wash everything & sometimes mime! We're rapidly reaching the point where I will have to shower him myself. I'm not sure how to do this without getting wet. Any ideas from others who are in the same position would be much appreciated. (He also hates washing his hair!) Thank you in anticipation.
Showering
- Thread starter Bem
- Start date
I get outside carers to help with personal care, as OH won't accept it from me. We do have a little waist high shower screen which allows them to stay dry. There is a seat in there as well for her mobility problems, but it des also mean she is sitting lower and that may help the care enablers. Hope that helps.
We have a shower over the bath but pre-dementia, my wife always preferred a bath. As her dementia progressed, it became more and more difficult to get her to sit down in the water. She would get in then it was almost a wrestling match to get her seated. I even purchased a lovely PVC "bench" you could place in the bath, which worked for a few times but then we were back to square 1.
Like your husband (and many with dementia), my wife hated getting water on her hair/face, so Friday " bath time", became a dreaded battle of wills, resulting in several near misses (soapy baths can be treacherous places) and a strain on my poor back!
So in desperation one week, I simply climbed in the bath with her. At first it was a bit of a struggle, as she would tend to try and grab hold of the shower curtain. It helped that our shower is not the fixed head type so I could start off with the hose/shower head down low, washing her hands and getting her used to the water. This enabled me to work my way around and wash the rest, finally finishing with washing her hair. She seems to have got used to this routine now and for the moment at least, Fridays are less traumatic (if a little time consuming).
The rest of the week we make do with soap, flannel and wet-wipes.
Like your husband (and many with dementia), my wife hated getting water on her hair/face, so Friday " bath time", became a dreaded battle of wills, resulting in several near misses (soapy baths can be treacherous places) and a strain on my poor back!
So in desperation one week, I simply climbed in the bath with her. At first it was a bit of a struggle, as she would tend to try and grab hold of the shower curtain. It helped that our shower is not the fixed head type so I could start off with the hose/shower head down low, washing her hands and getting her used to the water. This enabled me to work my way around and wash the rest, finally finishing with washing her hair. She seems to have got used to this routine now and for the moment at least, Fridays are less traumatic (if a little time consuming).
The rest of the week we make do with soap, flannel and wet-wipes.
My mum hates having her hair washed now as she's afraid of the water,I have just washed her hair in her hospital bed this morning with a product called NILAQUA it's been a Godsend,it's non rinse liquid shampoo that doesn't need water to rinse,you rub it through dry hair and make a lather and rub it in well to all areas then gently rub the hair with a towel until it's nearly dry,I leave it a little damp so it's easier to comb,mum is fortunate to have quite short hair and this would be a great product for a man with short hair.
It can be used easily with somebody sat in a chair or hospital bed,you just need to tuck a towel around the neck,it doesn't run everywhere and this is the best non rinse shampoo I have found.
I see Boots have it online 200ml for £3.71,I assume it's available instore which would save on postage
Last edited:
We also have a shower over bath arrangement, so I don't have any tips that would help with a walk in shower I'm afraid.
I found, as time went on, my husband was not keen to get his face or hair wet under a shower, but he had no issue with me showering him otherwise. To get around this I would just give him a shower over the rest of his body, then turn the shower off and use a flannel to gently clean his face while he sat on the bath board seat.
On days when he was not willing (or too confused) to have a shower, I just washed him down at the bathroom sink.
As for his hair, I switched to a hair washing solution which didn't need water. I just massaged the solution in, then towel dried it off. It did a good job in keeping his hair clean and smelling nice. The good thing was that I could do it anytime, not just in the shower. Often he was quite happy to be sitting comfortably in his armchair, watching tv and keeping warm while I sorted his hair out
I found, as time went on, my husband was not keen to get his face or hair wet under a shower, but he had no issue with me showering him otherwise. To get around this I would just give him a shower over the rest of his body, then turn the shower off and use a flannel to gently clean his face while he sat on the bath board seat.
On days when he was not willing (or too confused) to have a shower, I just washed him down at the bathroom sink.
As for his hair, I switched to a hair washing solution which didn't need water. I just massaged the solution in, then towel dried it off. It did a good job in keeping his hair clean and smelling nice. The good thing was that I could do it anytime, not just in the shower. Often he was quite happy to be sitting comfortably in his armchair, watching tv and keeping warm while I sorted his hair out
HI Bem,
We are at about the same stage. My routine is, get showered myself just put on underwear, then help him. If I do get splashed it is not the end of the world. Our shower has an overhead and a take down head. I only use the take down one. I hold the shower head, get him wet, turn it off, supervise shower gel and shampoo and then do most of the washing off. At the end I give him a few minutes to rinse himself wherever he wants. (We all like that mindless rinsing don't we?) Was thinking the other day it might be an idea to get a waterproof apron. It does get harder though as time goes on. OH is not able to turn the water off now and I have to reach in, that is when I get wet. OH does not like the water in his face and makes the biggest fuss. He even makes a fuss about my spraying him with cologne. Says it hurts.
I mime as well to encourage vigorous washing. He treats himself like porcelain.
I find now I have to supervise dressing as well. Even if I lay everything he needs on the bed we can get some strange combinations.
I have got a shower stool stored away for future use.
But it does take ages and I am a person who likes my breakfast.
Not sure if any of this is useful but it helps to know others are in the same position.
We are at about the same stage. My routine is, get showered myself just put on underwear, then help him. If I do get splashed it is not the end of the world. Our shower has an overhead and a take down head. I only use the take down one. I hold the shower head, get him wet, turn it off, supervise shower gel and shampoo and then do most of the washing off. At the end I give him a few minutes to rinse himself wherever he wants. (We all like that mindless rinsing don't we?) Was thinking the other day it might be an idea to get a waterproof apron. It does get harder though as time goes on. OH is not able to turn the water off now and I have to reach in, that is when I get wet. OH does not like the water in his face and makes the biggest fuss. He even makes a fuss about my spraying him with cologne. Says it hurts.
I mime as well to encourage vigorous washing. He treats himself like porcelain.
I find now I have to supervise dressing as well. Even if I lay everything he needs on the bed we can get some strange combinations.
I have got a shower stool stored away for future use.
But it does take ages and I am a person who likes my breakfast.
Not sure if any of this is useful but it helps to know others are in the same position.
Our one is fixed to the wall and tilts upwards when I'm in the shower. I've never tried a stand alone, but the fixed one works well enough @marionq.
Following his cardiac arrest, I had to shower my husband. We have a walk in shower with an overhead shower as well as a hand held spray. I bought a special chair which was a great help. It had arms which made it easier for him to get up and I made sure the bathroom was very warm. I always used a non slip mat in the shower and a thick bath mat for him to stand on outside the shower which seemed to give a feeling of safety.
I found a waterproof smock like the kids use at school for art classes and I would remove my jeans and shoes so by using the spray I mostly stayed fairly dry.
There are lots of dry shampoos available now and they can be found in the same area at the supermarket near regular shampoos. They are fairly simple to use and not expensive and I am sure that they would be available in UK.
I suppose we are better adapted to showers in Australia so I never found it any big deal but I hope I have given you a few ideas.
I found a waterproof smock like the kids use at school for art classes and I would remove my jeans and shoes so by using the spray I mostly stayed fairly dry.
There are lots of dry shampoos available now and they can be found in the same area at the supermarket near regular shampoos. They are fairly simple to use and not expensive and I am sure that they would be available in UK.
I suppose we are better adapted to showers in Australia so I never found it any big deal but I hope I have given you a few ideas.
Thank you everybody for your replies - it's reassuring that it's not just me that's floundering! I'll try out your ideas - and especially the Nilaqua - I've not heard of this - sounds brilliant, & will save a lot of stress!
Lots of good ideas - thank you! We've also got a take-down shower-head, so I could do the same as you! Good idea to part dress first before showering him. I've been showering after him so that I can wash down the shower afterwards, but my priorities will have to change! I've also got a stool for future use.
I am having a similar battle with my OH, she used to have a bath every night, now won't and now says she hates showers. I take her to the Over 50s session in the local swimming pool every week (we both love swimming and I get free admission as a carer) and so she goes under the showers there before and after and I make sure she has shampoo for the shower when we leave so that her hair gets a good wash too.
Thanks for all the advice above. My OH is due home from hospital in few days and I've been thinking about this. He has lost his mobility and I can see I shall have to have a few adaptions made,, such as as walkin shower and guess I shall have to get in with him as his arm movements are very restricted now.
I also bought some Nilaqua after seeing the hospital use it.
I also bought some Nilaqua after seeing the hospital use it.
When I use the Nilaqua I spray my mothers hair with a little warm water in a spray bottle to make her hair damp and then use the shampoo,it makes the shampoo last longer and was easier to give it a good rub,that's just my technique,you will have to see what suits you
Last edited:
When my wife reached this stage I would wash her down with a flannel and flexible shower head. To be honest I would only shower her a couple of times a week as she is doing nothing to get dirty.
She is now unable to stand so I have a small plastic head bath for hair washing. She lies on the bed with her head on the bath. It takes 2 people to carry this out effectively.
She is now unable to stand so I have a small plastic head bath for hair washing. She lies on the bed with her head on the bath. It takes 2 people to carry this out effectively.
May I suggest that you wait a while before sorting a Walk in shower. My wife could not lift her legs high enough to get in and out of the bath so I purchased a shower tray and sealed the hole. She would stand in the tray and I would wash her down with a jug of water. When she was unable to manage the stairs I would wash her in the kitchen using the same system. Had I gone to the expense of converting the bathroom she would have used it for a matter of weeks before she declined further. Count to 10 before making such decisions.
