Hi we had mums funeral yesterday it was truelly amazing..so so beatiful from start to finish. I had wrote mums euroly and it all came from the heart .i didnt think for one minute i would be able to read it out!!but i did i am so so proud of myself..Really proud..i felt that this was my last deed for mum..and wanted to her to be so so proud!x today i am sitting here at home and i am wondering what do i do know!!!.mum was always my first priority..my fisrt thought off a morning and last one at night..i phone home at 6 every morning to see if she slept well!!!.the past 3 weeks i have organised most off funeral. I wrote the verses for local paper..i wrote euroly..orginising flowers..who going in what car..59 people to orgnise..so to say i been busy is an understatement..mum been home for 2 days..i slepted in room with mum..to say i am exhausted is putting it mildly...so today no family now all myself till daughter got home from school and i honestly did not know what to do with myself!!..
How do i start a new chapter?
- Thread starter Baby Bunty
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I’m so sorry for your loss @Baby Bunty. Although I’ve not been in this position I have heard that there is usually not time to grieve until after the funeral and that’s when the reality and enormity of your loss sinks in. Well done on arranging such a lovely send off for your mum, that must be a comfort to you. Please be gentle with yourself, but allow some time for you to do some things you maybe put on hold before when you were caring for your mum. I know when I was helping my mum care for dad before he went into his care home I could not plan anything as I didn’t know when I would be needed, and gave up some nights out and clubs because I couldn’t commit to them. I also realise that for a few years my teenage daughter probably didn’t get as much of my time as she deserved. Maybe you could plan a nice day out with your daughter, or a friend to look forwards to, nothing extravagant, but just something you may not have been able to do for a while. Take care of yourself. Sending you a big virtual hug x
There is no need to do anything for now @Baby Bunty. You will have a big hole in your life now and there`ll be a long period of adjustment while you come to terms with the loss of your mother.
If you can, try to rest and relax so you can have some quality time with your daughter when she comes home. She will be feeling the loss of her grandma and I hope you will be able to comfort each other.
Hi went up to grave today to sort flowers..we asked for family only and donations to Alzheimer's...we opened box today and got a whooping 630 pound...i was amazed..so will get a cheque posted ASAP. Xx
I hear you. I understand
It won’t help for me to say that it’s still early days,
but it is still early days....
It’s taken me 18 months not to feel lost and hurt anytime I see anything connected to my mum. Be it a photo of her, her handwriting ....
It will take as long as it takes, but one day, you will be able to look at a photo and not feel as you do now, lost.
you will be able to see a photo and remember good times
Mum was a part of my life since I was born, 50+ odd years before she died.
I still need to understand that 18 months out of 50+ odd years is still early days, but they are easier to deal with now
2jays is right, it’s very early days. My mum died 3yrs ago and I still miss her like crazy. She was my friend and confident as well as my strongest support when my husband was diagnosed with early onset dementia.
Feeling lost and alone is an important part of the grieving process and it’s important you stick with these painful feelings and don’t push them away.
You won’t ever get over losing your mum but you will learn to live with the loss and the rawness softens with time.
Give yourself time and be gentle. Xx
Feeling lost and alone is an important part of the grieving process and it’s important you stick with these painful feelings and don’t push them away.
You won’t ever get over losing your mum but you will learn to live with the loss and the rawness softens with time.
Give yourself time and be gentle. Xx
Oh bless you. It's not long since we were discussing whether they were at end stage. My Mum died two days ago. Like you, I'm exhausted, although she had a heart attack in the end and only lasted 3 hours. I was able to be with her at the home, with the light low and gentle music playing. It helps to have been with her at the end, and mine at least really had no life left; only existence. I'm glad your Mum's funeral went so well. These things make such a difference