Questions about care homes.

[Stattovic]

My mother (69 years old) is now sadly in a very bad way with here dementia. My father who is 75 is really struggling with all he has to do at home. Apart from her dementia she also has severe arthritis so her mobilily is virtually zero.

Both her grown up children visit on ocasions, but with their own families to care fo especially daughters autistic child it is not easy.

We have been talking with Dad about the possibility of a care home but we do not know how to deal with it. Cost etc not too much of an issue, but where do we go from here ?

Any advise would be appreciated.

 

[ANITRAM]

If your parents are self funded then a decision on a move to a care home rests with you and the family as far as I am aware . Look around as many care homes as you have the time and energy to ( be warned this is a very exhausting and distressing experience so take a friend for support ) . I looked at the reports on the CQC site and personal reviews . Most CHs have websites with lots of information. It’s not the bricks and mortar you are looking at ( but it helps ) but it is the care and attitude of staff that’s vital . What I found was that the ones I preferred had waiting lists so start looking sooner rather than later .

 

[Stattovic]

Thank you for the response finantially my wife receives her pension and PIP so maybe that could suffice as she or I do not have any property and saving.

 

[ANITRAM]

Thank you for the response finantially my wife receives her pension and PIP so maybe that could suffice as she or I do not have any property and saving.

My understanding would be that if they have no property or savings then they will NOT BE self funding . In this case a phone call to your local social services is needed so that an assessment is made of what care support can be provided to your mother and father . Initially care in the home will probably be suggested . The phone call requesting an assessment is a good starting point . You must mention you are concerned about your dads ability to cope with your mother and that it is a safeguarding issue . The LA have a duty of care to both of them and should help you .

 

[Beate]

If your mother (I'm going with mother as wife makes no sense) has no property or savings, how can cost not be an issue? Care homes are very expensive - a pension and PIP clearly won't be enough, so as Anitram has pointed out, the first step will be contacting Adult Social Services for a needs assessment. Initially they will want to give support at home as that is generally cheaper.

 

[canary]

Hello @Stattovic and welcome to Talking Point.
The way the system works is this -
If your mum has less than £25,000 savings then the Local Authority (LA) will start to pay towards the cost of care. If she has less than £14,000 then they will be paying their maximum amount. The LA does, however, have to agree that the care is necessary.

Your mum might not need to move into a care home in the first instance, though. You dad might find that having carers in to help getting her washed and dressed (for instance) will help him cope better. Having things like grab rails and a standing frame might help with her mobility problems. I have a cleaner in a couple of hours every week which takes some of the strain away. They might both benefit from a befriender to come in and chat to your mum so that your dad can have a bit of a break. Your dad should contact Social Services and request a needs assessment for your mum, so that your mum can be assessed and find out what can be offered. Social Services will almost certainly try to offer support for your dad so that your mum can stay at home longer, and it is only if this doesnt work that they will consider a care home.