Another little thing lost!!!!

[Lady M]

St. Valentine’s Day! Hearts and flowers, cards and kisses, evenings out or romantic nights in!
Not anymore!!!!
Today for the first time in over half a century, no card( not that that matters!) no flowers, no suprize, no let’s do something special, no kiss no I love you , you are my world!!
Nothing at all!
Just something else that adds to the list of things gone not to return.
It doesn’t really matter, of course, but just intensifies how this is how things are!!!!

I suppose it’s adds to the realisation that Everything has changed and will never , ever be the same, for us!
Memories are so precious!

 

[RosettaT]

I had a sad 5 mins this morning for the same reason. Not that we ever really did much on Valentine's but it did bring to the fore that things have changed and for the first time I wished I could have just one more day as it used to be. This is his 8th week in hospital and tho I am hopeful he will be home early next week it reiterated just how much I miss him and how we laughed and enjoyed each other.

 

[the fairysolaris]

well wishes to all of you on valentines day from the respective heart that you miss so much ( you are LOVED its just hard to focus on communicating that love to you when a heart is buried so deep …..but it is still there!) … so still place that kiss.
just for today I declare all dribble, spit and disregard an enchanted expression of LOVE.(just for today mind..so make the most of it . i'll try to be brave tomorrow AGAIN and I do love you ...its just buried deep under the tears of run ragged and *%^£ miffed.

 

[rhubarbtree]

Rosetta I had a sad 30 seconds this morning remembering my only Valentine from my husband, over 50 years ago. "Roses are red, violets are blue. So pad me a cell 'cos I'm crazy for you." Funny how we remember things. He did not send anymore because we got married. Flowers and chocolates only given when he was in trouble.

 

[Janie M]

My OH used to say “ I don’t need a special day to tell you that I love you “ but I wouldn’t mind any day to hear that now instead of the anger and confusion that is common place now. Just living on 30+ of memories. But sure there’s many of us feel the same. At least memories can’t be taken away. X

 

[Lilac Angelica]

Valentine's day can be truly heart breaking. My husband forgot who I was quite a long time ago. It's not my first Valentine's with him not knowing me, but I still had quite a sleepless night last night and feel sad and emotional. Trying to not let it get me down too much. Went to nursing home earlier and took him gift and card and tried to acknowledge/celebrate it in some way. Very difficult experience trying to celebrate or acknowledge such. My siblings say don't bother to celebrate it, however my heart wishes to. I sympathise with all of you going through this today, please know that you are not alone and many of us really understand your pain.

 

[Lady M]

Oh dear! Now another thing! I have just watched as ‘our’ double bed has been taken out!
This is being replaced with a single for me and a profiling bed ( which the family have had to purchase SS could only supply mattress!!!) for OH to reduce risk of falls etc and hopefully enable easier transferring!
It seems that all the ‘we’ is going and I am now virtually on my own but I am not!
Can’t help but feel each and every day there is and will be something more lost.
I know that this is all for the best but golly it hurts!!!!

 

[Wifenotcarer]

We went Ten pin bowling with the Family on Thursday to celebrate 12yo Grandson's Birthday. I nipped off to the toilet and when I came back I was presented with a huge bouquet of yellow roses and a Valentines card signed by OH. I gave him a kiss but, totally confused, he insisted it was nothing to do with him. It was a lovely surprise anyway for me until I was told that they had arranged it to show up their husbands who had not given them anything.

 

[Teddy1960]

St. Valentine’s Day! Hearts and flowers, cards and kisses, evenings out or romantic nights in!
Not anymore!!!!
Today for the first time in over half a century, no card( not that that matters!) no flowers, no suprize, no let’s do something special, no kiss no I love you , you are my world!!
Nothing at all!
Just something else that adds to the list of things gone not to return.
It doesn’t really matter, of course, but just intensifies how this is how things are!!!!

I suppose it’s adds to the realisation that Everything has changed and will never , ever be the same, for us!
Memories are so precious!

 

[Teddy1960]

I really emphasize with you . My husband finally managed to write the card which wasn't the most important thing by the way. When I opened I could have cried, he had started to write wishing you a merry ......... why cant somebody find a cure for this horrible disease

 

[WA123]

A completely different perspective on this. I really didn't expect my husband to remember Valentines Day as it hadn't been mentioned and there'd been no reaction from him in any shop display we'd seen (and there were many). Anyway I know this isn't his fault so thought I'd get him a card then the day wouldn't go completely unmarked. I found one that wasn't too sloppy, brought it home, hid it in a safe place and now have absolutely no idea where that safe place is!! We are 4 days on and somewhere in this house lurks a perfect Valentine card but who knows where I've put it. Told my husband and he thought it was hysterical. On the up side it did wonders for his self esteem.

 

[AliceA]

A completely different perspective on this. I really didn't expect my husband to remember Valentines Day as it hadn't been mentioned and there'd been no reaction from him in any shop display we'd seen (and there were many). Anyway I know this isn't his fault so thought I'd get him a card then the day wouldn't go completely unmarked. I found one that wasn't too sloppy, brought it home, hid it in a safe place and now have absolutely no idea where that safe place is!! We are 4 days on and somewhere in this house lurks a perfect Valentine card but who knows where I've put it. Told my husband and he thought it was hysterical. On the up side it did wonders for his self esteem.

It

Good one! What else is a true Valentine than to boost someone's esteem.
I cooked a special lunch and a treat for tea, I gave a present a few days in advance not especially a Valentines but it hah a heart on it.

 

[WA123]

It

Good one! What else is a true Valentine than to boost someone's esteem.
I cooked a special lunch and a treat for tea, I gave a present a few days in advance not especially a Valentines but it hah a heart on it.

Didn't think about the boosting of his self esteem as a Valentine @AliceA but you're quite right and I love it when I manage to put a smile on his face so it was all worth it.

 

[vernon]

Didn't think about the boosting of his self esteem as a Valentine @AliceA but you're quite right and I love it when I manage to put a smile on his face so it was all worth it.

 

[vernon]

10 days before valentines I bought birthday cards and MH saw valentines card and gave it to me to buy. Come Valentine’s Day, there was a card my daughter had bought with him, all signed and lovely. Oh! I had not expected one but looked in the drawer for a happy looking card and LOW AND BEHOLD there was the card he had bought to give me . . . . . . . . It was actually a beautiful card which said for MY HUSBAND!!!!!! We laughed about it all day and he didn’t mind a bit. One of my happier stories.

 

[AliceA]

Keeping up self esteem is very fragile, it seems to need constant attention which is fine. It is so easy to knock though.
I had a bit of repair to do yesterday, I had a fraught friend on the phone,my husband was coughing loudly so I signalled him to go into the other room.
He left then did not come back, when I persuaded him he complained of being cold.
That was quick to deal with but the 'rejection' took much longer.
I really should have taken the phone and left myself, I normally do.

My friend was dealing with a Discharge Officer who said that she could take her husband home there and then on Friday. She is old, stressed out, no transport, her husband has a crushed neck having fallen down stairs. He has a complicated neck brace. The consultant is wary of operating.
She could not cope at home, she spent the rest of day trying to arrange a nursing home. A nursing home said they would assess him on Monday. The Discharge Officer brightened up at that, however by yesterday he was too ill to move. Hence the phone call. She did not know what was going on and her husband was out of reach.

I think we all need a clear guideline of how to combat this Discharge before fit scenario.