OH has deteriorated so much in the last week that he has now been diagnosed as at the end of life stage. Everything has been set up so that when necessary they can make him as comfortable as possible. I’m having trouble actually believing that we have got to this so soon and half expect him to rally again and be as he was a few weeks ago. I had booked my first holiday away in several years only a short time ago as he is so well looked after in his care home and today I must cancel it as there is no way I can go overseas and leave him as he is. I fluctuate from feeling it’s not happening to bursting into tears all over the place.