Firstly, thank you to EVERYONE on this forum. It’s a lifeline and such a supportive community. As probably most of us posting on here are starting out on this unchosen route, every twist and turn presents something new. To be able to pool experiences and knowledge makes a huge difference when trying to cope or relying on conflicting advice from outsiders.
I posted several times already about my 87 YO mother whose existing personality issues also muddy the waters. She has recently been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s.
She lives alone but I have arranged as much as possible for her to ensure she is a) checked on and b) is kept as mentally busy as possible.
Mother regularly sends her carers away as she “is going out to lunch”,”going to stay with her daughter”, “not feeling well” etc etc I can’t force them upon her but it’s so frustrating when I live a distance away and their visits give ME peace of mind. Although I’ve but up a large notice board for her with a weekly routine - who to expect and when - she tells me she sent them away because she wasn’t expecting them and didn’t know why they were calling.
One day a week it was suggested by her consultant that it would be beneficial for her to go to a day centre to engage in stimulating activities with others like herself in a small group. Every time the minibus turns up, she fobs them off, again with the same excuses. She rings me 5 times a day telling me she’s lonely and not seen another person for days - which I know isn’t true - but has also said that she doesn’t want to go to the day centre “as they’re not her type” (incidentally, she’s always been quite a snob!) Has anyone any ideas of persuasive language I could use to encourage her?
I also get a regular call from her about her house. “When am I going home?” “Could you give me a lift home?” I’ve learnt to defer a direct answer but she’ll then say, “Of course, this is my home and one day it will be yours.” Is this a common theme?
Another daily call is about how “terribly ill” she is. Whenever I suggest I call her doctor, or even an ambulance on occasion when she’s “been struggling to breathe and stand up” she says she doesn’t want to waste the NHS’s time as she’s too old! She also has refused the offer of a prescription for Aricept for the same reason. Again, has anyone experienced this type of cry wolf scenario?
Her calls have regularly left me in tears of frustration but thanks to all your posts, I’m slowly learning there is no logic and no way to reason with her and that whatever happened or was said one day, is irrelevant or forgotten about the next.
I posted several times already about my 87 YO mother whose existing personality issues also muddy the waters. She has recently been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s.
She lives alone but I have arranged as much as possible for her to ensure she is a) checked on and b) is kept as mentally busy as possible.
Mother regularly sends her carers away as she “is going out to lunch”,”going to stay with her daughter”, “not feeling well” etc etc I can’t force them upon her but it’s so frustrating when I live a distance away and their visits give ME peace of mind. Although I’ve but up a large notice board for her with a weekly routine - who to expect and when - she tells me she sent them away because she wasn’t expecting them and didn’t know why they were calling.
One day a week it was suggested by her consultant that it would be beneficial for her to go to a day centre to engage in stimulating activities with others like herself in a small group. Every time the minibus turns up, she fobs them off, again with the same excuses. She rings me 5 times a day telling me she’s lonely and not seen another person for days - which I know isn’t true - but has also said that she doesn’t want to go to the day centre “as they’re not her type” (incidentally, she’s always been quite a snob!) Has anyone any ideas of persuasive language I could use to encourage her?
I also get a regular call from her about her house. “When am I going home?” “Could you give me a lift home?” I’ve learnt to defer a direct answer but she’ll then say, “Of course, this is my home and one day it will be yours.” Is this a common theme?
Another daily call is about how “terribly ill” she is. Whenever I suggest I call her doctor, or even an ambulance on occasion when she’s “been struggling to breathe and stand up” she says she doesn’t want to waste the NHS’s time as she’s too old! She also has refused the offer of a prescription for Aricept for the same reason. Again, has anyone experienced this type of cry wolf scenario?
Her calls have regularly left me in tears of frustration but thanks to all your posts, I’m slowly learning there is no logic and no way to reason with her and that whatever happened or was said one day, is irrelevant or forgotten about the next.