Hi, I’m new to the forum and am desperately seeking advice from anyone that may have been in a similar situation to that which I now find myself going through. Apologies for the length of the post.
My father, 74, had been a heavy drinker for many years and myself and my sisters were used to receiving phone calls from him where his speech was slurred and confused. He had lived alone for ten years, restricting himself to his home and not caring too much for the outside world. Last November he was emergency admitted to hospital with a suspected perforated bowel, it turned out to be severe ulcerative colitis. Whilst in hospital he was submitted to a CT Scan which noticed a ‘sinister shadow’ in his right lung. When I visited him in hospital he was confused and upset, found talking difficult and basically couldn’t finish the sentences that he started; much in the same manner as the phone calls that myself and my sisters were used to receiving. It was at this point that my concerns were raised about his memory problems and poor conversation being something other than the effects of alcohol. Then his neighbours visited him whilst I was at the hospital as well. They told me that my father had stopped drinking over six months ago. I found this embarrasing because I had been putting his memory and conversation problems on the telephone down to alcohol when he had clearly not been drinking. My father stayed in hospital for 5 weeks, he was discharged to a home assessment to see if he was able to care for himself. The Occupational Therapist from Home First and a social worker assessed his ability to care for himself in his bungalow and quickly raised concerns about his cognitive capacity, memory and ability to function in his own home; I was present and was similarly concerned. That same day a temporary place was found for him at a residential care home. He has been there for 7 weeks to date. Whilst there he has recovered physically (I had to wheelchair him from the car into the hospital on New Years Eve for an appointment for his lungs, two weeks ago he happily walked into the hospital from the car), I’ve put this down to him eating regular meals, drinking fluids, medication and the company he appears to be enjoying in the care home. I still fear for his mental capacity.
Right now, I am being told that he would not be considered for a memory clinic because he has not had a formal diagnosis for his lung problem. I have been told that if it’s cancer it might be affecting his mind and that this is the reason why memory clinic is not appropriate at this time. I am also being pushed to find a permanent care home for him as opposed to the temporary facility where he has resided for the past 7 weeks.
My concern is that he might not need to go into residential care if he has the right support in place. He seems to be strong enough physically but I do have reservations about his memory and without the diagnosis for his lungs (he is due to have a PET Scan on Wednesday) a memory clinic is unlikely to take place. The social worker assigned to my father’s case is being ‘pushed by her bosses’ for a resolution; basically the local council need the bed in the home where my father currently resides. I have found a residential home closer to my own home (it’s ten minutes away as opposed to the current care home which is three hour round trip) but am loathe to move my father in if he could function by himself in an asssited living environment. That kind of facility also exists closer to my own home and I would happily assist with his house sale and relocation, if that is the safe thing to do. Without a diagnosis of his mental capacity the decision about his required level of care is proving difficult, it would at best, be a guess on my part.
Should I press for a reassessment of his ability to care for himself? Do I dig my heels in and refuse to relocate my father from his temporary care home until he has had a reassessment and a diagnosis of his lung condition has been delivered? Can I legally do that or can the council insist he leaves? Can I insist on a memory clinic being conducted by his GP (provided my father agrees to it of course)?
My father keeps telling me that he hates where he is living right now and it’s heartbreaking. I don’t have the information I need to make an objective decision about his care needs and I fear making the wrong one in the face of pressure to relocate him.
Any advice would be most gratefully received.
My father, 74, had been a heavy drinker for many years and myself and my sisters were used to receiving phone calls from him where his speech was slurred and confused. He had lived alone for ten years, restricting himself to his home and not caring too much for the outside world. Last November he was emergency admitted to hospital with a suspected perforated bowel, it turned out to be severe ulcerative colitis. Whilst in hospital he was submitted to a CT Scan which noticed a ‘sinister shadow’ in his right lung. When I visited him in hospital he was confused and upset, found talking difficult and basically couldn’t finish the sentences that he started; much in the same manner as the phone calls that myself and my sisters were used to receiving. It was at this point that my concerns were raised about his memory problems and poor conversation being something other than the effects of alcohol. Then his neighbours visited him whilst I was at the hospital as well. They told me that my father had stopped drinking over six months ago. I found this embarrasing because I had been putting his memory and conversation problems on the telephone down to alcohol when he had clearly not been drinking. My father stayed in hospital for 5 weeks, he was discharged to a home assessment to see if he was able to care for himself. The Occupational Therapist from Home First and a social worker assessed his ability to care for himself in his bungalow and quickly raised concerns about his cognitive capacity, memory and ability to function in his own home; I was present and was similarly concerned. That same day a temporary place was found for him at a residential care home. He has been there for 7 weeks to date. Whilst there he has recovered physically (I had to wheelchair him from the car into the hospital on New Years Eve for an appointment for his lungs, two weeks ago he happily walked into the hospital from the car), I’ve put this down to him eating regular meals, drinking fluids, medication and the company he appears to be enjoying in the care home. I still fear for his mental capacity.
Right now, I am being told that he would not be considered for a memory clinic because he has not had a formal diagnosis for his lung problem. I have been told that if it’s cancer it might be affecting his mind and that this is the reason why memory clinic is not appropriate at this time. I am also being pushed to find a permanent care home for him as opposed to the temporary facility where he has resided for the past 7 weeks.
My concern is that he might not need to go into residential care if he has the right support in place. He seems to be strong enough physically but I do have reservations about his memory and without the diagnosis for his lungs (he is due to have a PET Scan on Wednesday) a memory clinic is unlikely to take place. The social worker assigned to my father’s case is being ‘pushed by her bosses’ for a resolution; basically the local council need the bed in the home where my father currently resides. I have found a residential home closer to my own home (it’s ten minutes away as opposed to the current care home which is three hour round trip) but am loathe to move my father in if he could function by himself in an asssited living environment. That kind of facility also exists closer to my own home and I would happily assist with his house sale and relocation, if that is the safe thing to do. Without a diagnosis of his mental capacity the decision about his required level of care is proving difficult, it would at best, be a guess on my part.
Should I press for a reassessment of his ability to care for himself? Do I dig my heels in and refuse to relocate my father from his temporary care home until he has had a reassessment and a diagnosis of his lung condition has been delivered? Can I legally do that or can the council insist he leaves? Can I insist on a memory clinic being conducted by his GP (provided my father agrees to it of course)?
My father keeps telling me that he hates where he is living right now and it’s heartbreaking. I don’t have the information I need to make an objective decision about his care needs and I fear making the wrong one in the face of pressure to relocate him.
Any advice would be most gratefully received.
