Unwanted callers

[Lynmax]

Is it worth me reporting an unwanted caller to the police ( using 101 as it is not an emergency)? A few years ago, when Mum was probably in the early stages of Alzheimer's but not diagnosed, she used a local tradesman to fix a leak from the gutters. We knew she had a leak and at that time we thought she was fine to sort it out. However, it is possible that the man called at her house to point out the leak, she lives in an area where this is common unfortunately. Anyway, the leak was fixed and the price seemed fair.

Since then, we have found out that this man has been regularly round again to " maintain and clean" the gutters and mum now has no idea what she pays him or how often. He knocked at the door a couple of days before Christmas asking for £30 as the final payment for the last clean. My sister, visiting from the US was there and gave him the money. He knew her name and that she lived abroad so obviously mum had been chatting away to him.

Then in early January he called again when I was there taking down the Christmas decorations with exactly the same story ( unfortunately my sister had not told me all the details at that time but I knew it was a repeat visit) and although I doubted what he was saying, I gave him another £30 as mum was getting upset and I thought he might then leave her alone. I made it very clear that I was suspicious and that we did not want him to call again and that the gutters did not need cleaning. He gave me his phone number so we could contact him.

But late this evening, while my brother was there, he knocked again and gave him a similar story about removing a tile that was blocking the gutters last week. My brother was well aware of his previous visits and refused to give him any money and again told him not to contact the house again. I'm not sure why but my brother gave him his phone number and within 15 mins, this chap sent him a text suggesting that we got security cameras fitted! My brother replied saying it was in hand! We cannot think of a reason for him sending this text unless he was going to offer to fix them?

Luckily all of us siblings use a whatsapp group to share everything about mum and what needs doing but we are not there everyday so are thinking of getting broadband installed so we can install some security ( need to work out where to hide the router to stop mum playing with the pretty lights!).

I want to contact the police to report him even though we only know his first name and phone number, and also get some advice about protecting mum in future. Do you think there is any point? Does anyone have any advice or any personal experience as carers?

Our newly installed call blocker has already intercepted six phone calls from numbers that were not withheld but are not on her trusted list. As all the callers hung up in seconds, they did not wait long enough to listen to my message telling them to call me if they really need to speak to mum. My bet is they were all cold callers so I am really chuffed that this equipment is doing its job!

 

[Amy in the US]

Unfortunately, I would err on the side of caution. My mother, when she lived alone, developed a relationship with a similar handyman. I found out later that she overpaid for a number of small jobs and that she was also going out for meals with this man, and paying for his. I also have some reason to believe that she may have had a physical relationship with this man.

He continued to call her home phone and leave messages after she went into hospital and later, the care home. I think my husband finally got rid of him with some choice words but don’t actually recall.

I can’t be sure exactly how much money she “paid” this guy and spent on him in total, but any amount of money was too much.

I know now that at the time, my mother’s Alzheimer’s disease was advanced enough that she should not have been living alone with no help or supervision. She fell prey to a few other scammers as well, and one was a fair amount of money. I was able to recover some of it.

So I would advise you to take steps to protect your mother, and her money, from this guy. Take control of the finances, talk to the police, change her locks,
whatever needs to happen.

Best wishes.

 

[Ohso]

I agree, there seems to be golden time of opportunity when people recognise an opportunity to take advantage of declininig health in vulnerable people, and for me l wish l had that knowledge. What a pity these scammers seems to recognise way before the professionals and in my case, family that dementia is approaching.
While mum was on the decline into what has now been diagnosed as alheimers, when she still drove and had full access to her bank account, she withdrew thousands of pounds over at least 2 years. In that time she had several 'workmen' calling, driveway cleaner, plumber etc, who she paid in cash, and l suspect returned themselves time and time again or sent others to offer different 'services'. While looking for hearing aids recently l found business cards all over the place, often multiples from same workman/scammer, l think at least 12 for the plumber.
If questioned mum just got angry with me so l backed off not realising this might be first signs of dementia and a safeguarding issue and so it went on, the more she pushed me away the easier it became for her to be taken advantage of and the more she was fiercely defending her independance by not involving me and simply picking up the phone or letting them in the door, l was stuck not knowing if half her stories were real or imagined, did she really have a plumber in for 2 days fixing um...something in the kitchen....l will never know. What l do know is, the thousands of pounds she withdrew seems to have dissapeared and now she no longer has access to bank account and several carers a day visiting so have the maintenance 'problems' and callers.Coincidence..hmm l think not.
Mum didnt and doesnt have broadband so a camera was not possible and she would never have agreed anyway because alongside this was her paranoia that l was the problem and trying to take all her money ( hense hoarding it) and trying to prove she wasnt capable of looking after herself ( hense accepting help from scammers to prove she was) and that having cameras would help me put her in a home so l could sell her house etc etc ( hense pushing me away and at times appearing to hate me)
Even her friends seemed convinced by her that l was up to no good so colluded in keeping things from me instead perhaps talking to me so we worked togerher to keep mum safe...but thats another story on another post.
So fast forwards to now. My fears are that she now has no cash, would scammers try to come back and take what little jewellery she still has ? ( lots appears missing) or have they cracked this golden egg and know the progression of the illness better than some of us and know just the time to strike and just the time to retreat and move on to another victim, which seems more likely.
For me, l plan to put a sticker on mums home to say it is covered by CCTV and hope that deters anyone from approaching the door or any of the stream of carers etc from not doing what they are in the home to do, other than that l have no insight as to what else l can do now.
Thankfully mum trusts me again and so all work is now carried out by trusted traders and paid for by my status as POA, but goodness dont l wish l felt l was one step ahead of this crappy illness instead of three steps behind. I spend hours trawling TP to try to arm myself for the next stage and try to think possitively about the last couple of years. I did my best with the knowledge and support l had then and do the same now, but thanks to TP im more prepared now, and mum, if she was scammed out of thousands its gone,she doesnt remember so isnt frightened to be in her home and was never injured or apparently intimidated, she simply invited then in and handed it all over to the lovely men and the little boy they always seemed to have with them.

 

[Sirena]

What l do know is, the thousands of pounds she withdrew seems to have dissapeared and now she no longer has access to bank account and several carers a day visiting so have the maintenance 'problems' and callers.Coincidence..hmm l think not..

This really rings a bell with me. Fortunately my mother was not subject to 'tradesmen scammers' because she rented her flat and any necessary work was carried out by the landlord. However she had a 'friend' who behaved exactly as you describe. The friend used to regularly take her shopping for clothes/shoes, and it transpired that the purpose of this was so that my mother could pay for both their shopping. As soon as she heard I was overseeing my mother's bank account, and my mother had daily carers, we did not see this friend for dust. I think you are right that there are people who seize the moment and sense they have

cracked this golden egg and know the progression of the illness better than some of us and know just the time to strike and just the time to retreat and move on to another victim, which seems more likely.

I do suspect this friend had other victims.

 

[Lynmax]

Luckily we do have power of attorney registered with Mums bank and have arranged that she only has a few hundred pounds in her current account ie that she can access.

I am going to contact the police on Monday, even if they cannot do anything, I will feel better!

 

[witts1973]

Is it worth me reporting an unwanted caller to the police ( using 101 as it is not an emergency)? A few years ago, when Mum was probably in the early stages of Alzheimer's but not diagnosed, she used a local tradesman to fix a leak from the gutters. We knew she had a leak and at that time we thought she was fine to sort it out. However, it is possible that the man called at her house to point out the leak, she lives in an area where this is common unfortunately. Anyway, the leak was fixed and the price seemed fair.

Since then, we have found out that this man has been regularly round again to " maintain and clean" the gutters and mum now has no idea what she pays him or how often. He knocked at the door a couple of days before Christmas asking for £30 as the final payment for the last clean. My sister, visiting from the US was there and gave him the money. He knew her name and that she lived abroad so obviously mum had been chatting away to him.

Then in early January he called again when I was there taking down the Christmas decorations with exactly the same story ( unfortunately my sister had not told me all the details at that time but I knew it was a repeat visit) and although I doubted what he was saying, I gave him another £30 as mum was getting upset and I thought he might then leave her alone. I made it very clear that I was suspicious and that we did not want him to call again and that the gutters did not need cleaning. He gave me his phone number so we could contact him.

But late this evening, while my brother was there, he knocked again and gave him a similar story about removing a tile that was blocking the gutters last week. My brother was well aware of his previous visits and refused to give him any money and again told him not to contact the house again. I'm not sure why but my brother gave him his phone number and within 15 mins, this chap sent him a text suggesting that we got security cameras fitted! My brother replied saying it was in hand! We cannot think of a reason for him sending this text unless he was going to offer to fix them?

Luckily all of us siblings use a whatsapp group to share everything about mum and what needs doing but we are not there everyday so are thinking of getting broadband installed so we can install some security ( need to work out where to hide the router to stop mum playing with the pretty lights!).

I want to contact the police to report him even though we only know his first name and phone number, and also get some advice about protecting mum in future. Do you think there is any point? Does anyone have any advice or any personal experience as carers?

Our newly installed call blocker has already intercepted six phone calls from numbers that were not withheld but are not on her trusted list. As all the callers hung up in seconds, they did not wait long enough to listen to my message telling them to call me if they really need to speak to mum. My bet is they were all cold callers so I am really chuffed that this equipment is doing its job!

He might have been looking to see what your response to him mentioning security cameras was,he may have been looking for a response Such as "we already have cameras"So he would know if he's already being watched.
I would speak to the police and they may be able to get more details about him through his phone provider if it's a contract phone,I would also place a no cold caller sign on the glass on front door to discourage any other traders.