My mum is convinced my Dad has cancer and is dying. He is absolutely fine I was with him when his doctor said he was. Mum is telling everyone Macmillan nurses are coming in, special equipment will be delivered and he doesn’t have long. I’m having calls of family and friends concerned. She is currently still having tests but I wondered does anyone have any experience with dementia and then making up stories and not just memory loss- thank you
Mum recently dementia diagnosis
- Thread starter mollymoo2
- Start date
Hello
Yes mum Has dementia and she tells me she's been out shopping , and got on the bus.
Shes I a care home.and nine of this is true.
I can empathise with your difficulty. My dad is convinced mum is having an affair with a neighbour and has even been to speak to his wife about it, she told him she knew nothing was going on but dad insists he is right. Mum can't do anything without dad because he thinks she is with this man. We are trying to help mum to see that it is just the dementia talking but it is still very upsetting for her. Have you tried asking the doctor to tell her your dad is fine? Can't guarantee she will believe it or even remember the conversation but it might be worth a try. Good luck. X
I’ve sat with my mum several times and listened to the doctor tell her how well he is. She’s just convinced he’s terminally ill. I sat with her through the mental health visit Monday with the memory testing watching her struggle with the questions and not even been able to tell the time was heartbreaking to watch. Some days she’s fine you wouldn’t know but the last few months she has definitely declined. Such a cruel condition x
I agree, it's terribly cruel and sadly we all have to find the right way to handle these imaginings. There is no right or wrong answer, we are still looking for ours! My dad was always the diy fixer in our family, he was always turning up with what seemed like the entire contents of his garage when we needed a job doing. It's so sad to see him wondering what all his various bits and pieces and tools are for. I hope you find away that works for you. X
Welcome to TP Mllymoo2. Sorry your mum's confabulations are so distressing. Sadly it is a fairly common part of dementia, and my OH has told stories about meeting Elvis Presley which get more elaborate every time.
Hello and welcome to Talking Post from me as well,@mollymoo2. I am sorry to hear about your mother.
The confabulations and delusions are all very well when they are benign and don’t matter, but this must be very hard for you and your family. I remember when my mother rang me one day in incredible distress because her favourite cousin had died. Except, of course, he hadn’t and was alive and well. I’m not sure she ever believed that he had not died. This was earlier on, before her diagnosis. Since a delusion is, by definition, a false and fixed belief, it can be impossible to change their mind.
I wish I had some brilliant advice but the best you may be able to do is try reassurance or redirection and distraction. I can appreciate the difficulties this presents.
I hope you will find TP helpful and continue posting and reading.
The confabulations and delusions are all very well when they are benign and don’t matter, but this must be very hard for you and your family. I remember when my mother rang me one day in incredible distress because her favourite cousin had died. Except, of course, he hadn’t and was alive and well. I’m not sure she ever believed that he had not died. This was earlier on, before her diagnosis. Since a delusion is, by definition, a false and fixed belief, it can be impossible to change their mind.
I wish I had some brilliant advice but the best you may be able to do is try reassurance or redirection and distraction. I can appreciate the difficulties this presents.
I hope you will find TP helpful and continue posting and reading.
Thank you it’s been so very difficult the last two years I have been caring for my Aunty with dementia with the support of carers. I had no choice but to put her in care last April and had to pack up and sell her house. We lost her in October on her 89th Birthday she was my mums older sister and we were all close the three of us. I really think her death has made my mum worse she seems to have declined so quickly! My Dad is having a hard time dealing with it but we appear to be moving in the right direction now and having help from the consultants. It’s so hard but I know I’m not the only one and I do have supportive husband family and friends x
