I am losing it

[APPLEANNIE]

I think i am losing it I am disabled and look after my husband with Alzeimers. He constantly keeps on at me most of the time i do not know what he is saying.I have to do most things and he just sits in the chair asleep wakes up shouting that there is someone in the room because he has had a dream. There is no conversation because i can not understand what he is trying to say and he says he can not hear me.But he hears me when he wants me to do something for him.I have always prided myself on how efficient i am but not anymore as i can not get a clear head. It is driving me crazy and i want to "run away" but how can I. Rant over sorry

 

[marionq]

I think i am losing it I am disabled and look after my husband with Alzeimers. He constantly keeps on at me most of the time i do not know what he is saying.I have to do most things and he just sits in the chair asleep wakes up shouting that there is someone in the room because he has had a dream. There is no conversation because i can not understand what he is trying to say and he says he can not hear me.But he hears me when he wants me to do something for him.I have always prided myself on how efficient i am but not anymore as i can not get a clear head. It is driving me crazy and i want to "run away" but how can I. Rant over sorry

You need help. Call social services and ask for a carers assessment for yourself and a needs assessment for him. This might result in personal care help or with medicines or provision of a Befriender to give you some free time. Do it straight away as in some areas they are slower to respond.

 

[Izzy]

I agree with Marion. You need to get assessments done or re-assessments if Social Work are already involved.

This fact sheet will give you more details about the process-

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/legal-financial/assessment-care-support-england

 

[karaokePete]

A word about this to the GP or Memory Clinic may also assist.

My wife is also one to wake and confuse dreams with reality so get vocal and active is a confused and upsetting way. The prescription of Memantine helped a little with that for a while, although didn't eliminate it and it seems to be creeping back.

I agree that a care needs assessment would be a good idea and the Factsheets that can be read by clicking the 2nd lines of the following links will give details of the help available

• How the GP can support a person with dementia (425)
  PDF printable version

• Assessment for care and support in England (418)
  PDF printable version

 

[Jean1234]

Please ask for help from social services. You are doing an amazing job but there comes a time when it is impossible to go alone. For your own health as well as his. Don’t leave it too long like I did when health became an issue. Good luck

 

[Lady M]

I am in the same boat but perhaps not quite bad yet! However feel it’s going that way!
I know that empathy is one of the first emotions to go but OH just doesn’t seem to realise that I am struggling to ‘Do’
The mental stress is the worse! The knowing things will probable get worse, and worse and worse!
I am not depressed just sad!
Every day I say I must. Find time for myself but it’s not happening!
Even trying to write this he couldn’t wait for his drinking water which was by the bedside, so struggling to get up to go and get it, I know perhaps I should have let him go but then the mental stress of another fall (recently had several even using the frame)
So back to finding time for myself, oh so easy to think, so easy to say!!!
AppleAnne is not alone!