My dad is 81 and has had Dementia for over two years.He lives on his own,since before christmas he wants to be loved and wants a female to live with him in his house.its all he goes on about it now when i see him.more or less life is not worth living if he does not get anybody. we have carers coming in three times a day for company along with friends and family but this does not seem enough.I am thinking about getting a full time carer to live with him for the company.can anybody advise please.
dad wanting love
- Thread starter bally123456
- Start date
My dad developed an obsession about finding himself a girlfriend which became more and more difficult to deal with until I was asked if his medication had been changed before it began.
Fortunately for us reducing his dosage solved the problem.
If he's like my dad was while going through this phase it might be unwise to introduce a female to live with him. Dad could be very persistent.
I hope you can find a solution. I know how upsetting these behaviours can be.
Fortunately for us reducing his dosage solved the problem.
If he's like my dad was while going through this phase it might be unwise to introduce a female to live with him. Dad could be very persistent.
I hope you can find a solution. I know how upsetting these behaviours can be.
Hello @bally123456, you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.
Do take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in ones own area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take you there
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you
You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc.
The local services may include some things to keep your dad engaged, like a memory café or befriending service..
Any sudden change in behaviour could be caused by something like an infection or a reaction to any recently introduced medication(as has been suggested) so these things should be eliminated before any long term change is assumed
Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.
Do take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in ones own area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take you there
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you
You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc.
The local services may include some things to keep your dad engaged, like a memory café or befriending service..
Any sudden change in behaviour could be caused by something like an infection or a reaction to any recently introduced medication(as has been suggested) so these things should be eliminated before any long term change is assumed
Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.
This is one of the most difficult issues for an adult child to have to face - accepting that an elderly parent has a need for intimacy. It is more common with men I believe, but not exclusively so. From talking to many of my mum's live-in carers, it is quite common for their single male clients to ask for 'extra comforts'. The carer then expends a lot of effort on distracting and dodging what can be very persistent attentions. Nobody wants to have to sleep with their chair against the door. I think you're better sticking with short daytime visits from different carers to prevent any over-attachment or confusion that the carer is a spouse or girlfriend.
An additional word of caution. There are some people who target vulnerable elderly men for financial gain. Be very wary of neighbours who suddenly show a great interest in him, or carers who keep volunteering for extra shifts. Carers must keep things professional for the protection of all parties. You may need to check out how he's behaving with his current carers.
An additional word of caution. There are some people who target vulnerable elderly men for financial gain. Be very wary of neighbours who suddenly show a great interest in him, or carers who keep volunteering for extra shifts. Carers must keep things professional for the protection of all parties. You may need to check out how he's behaving with his current carers.
My dad is also looking for love. He flirts with any female and is always trying to kiss their hand.In his respite home he even pulled a carer onto his bed.I find this very uncomfortable and is one of the reasons he has gone into care.Hes even flirted with me.I think it is a heightened emotional thing and I’m hoping it’s a stage that will pass.I always tell carers,nurses etc and they are ready when he pounces.
My dad was an old fashioned gentleman before dementia but he could see nothing wrong with wanting to go into a carehome where he would have a ready supply of ladies
.Makes me smile when I think about it now . Nightmare at the time!!!
By the time he did need a carehome he was over this phase...thank goodness!
