Yelled at mum

[Con05]

Hi Gillybum, it’s a difficult situation, don’t beat yourself up. We are all under the same pressure. I argued with my hubby this morning before going to work. I don’t really think he did anything really that warranted it. So I like yourself beat myself up all day. Sending prayers and hugs to you and your mom x

 

[Carobby]

Dear Gill we are only human I shouted at my mother yesterday and wished here dead as she had been up and down most of the night. then cam into my room and asked where everyone was and what time are getting up.She tried to punch me so i shouted at her. she threatened to call the police and tell everyone what i was like. When i went down to make the tea she ca me down and wished me good morning it was as if what happened a few minutes before upstairs had been forgotten and I was a different person she never mentioned it again. WE let our frustrations out feel very guilty about doing so, but the person with dementia just forgets it

 

[yak55]

Mum is 89, she has mixed dementia, vascular and Altzheimer's. She also has stage 4 kidney disease, which together with the dementia adds interesting challenges to this whole bloomin nightmare.
She was refusing to wee in the loo, wouldn't let it out. If she doesn't empty her bladder properly at least once a day, I have to drain it with a catheter, which causes her so much anxiety and upset.
After 20 minutes of cajoling I lost my temper and yelled "I hate you so much" at her.
She's in bed now, snoring away, and I can't stop crying. I feel so wretched about it.

I've been angry with my Mum, my Dad had died suddenly and mum moved in. I was scared stiff, didn't know how to cope and was grieving.
I still feel guilty but i must remember everything I've just told you because that explains how I felt x

 

[lis66]

I did this with my dad last Friday two back-to-back rounds of 'I need a wee', going in the toilet with him, and him refusing to use the toilet. And then proceeding to wet himself and resisting to take off his shoes in order to take off the wet trousers.

I think the dad I had before the dementia would have done worse in my position to the the dad I have now. What an awful disease.

 

[lis66]

I did this with my dad last Friday two back-to-back rounds of 'I need a wee', going in the toilet with him, and him refusing to use the toilet. And then proceeding to wet himself and resisting to take off his shoes in order to take off the wet trousers.

I think the dad I had before the dementia would have done worse in my position to the the dad I have now. What an awful disease.

 

[A Sad Son]

My Mum often doesn't sleep well. There have been so many nights when she has stayed awake virtually all night for many different reasons, all dementia related.

I have lost my temper for a moment and shouted at her. I honestly do not believe that anyone can do the tasks we do as carers for someone with this horrible disease, without getting incredibly stressed out at times.

I hate myself when I get angry at her, even for a few seconds. Realistically though, we are normal people, dealing with very difficult and often deeply upsetting situations multiple times on a daily basis. We will all struggle to stay calm from time to time.

I often find myself crying my eyes out in the shower at night. I can honestly say, I have cried more in the last few months, than I have in the last twenty odd years combined. The stress of this 'job' of ours is brutal and often times unrelenting.

We have to be gentle on ourselves and accept that we are doing our best and the odd loss of temper is to be expected.