Why us

[marionq]

@Teddy1960 please don’t talk about paying for his care with your salary!

When a person is assessed for care it is on their income and savings only. You will need your money for your own old age.

 

[Janie M]

Thanks for your post that's why I will hold on to my job till the bitter end. I would absolutely go down hill fast if I didn't have work . I work in a school so have relatively short days and school holidays . I feel very selfish but I have a life too and if we get the the point where he needs care I will use all mynsalary to pay for it if I have to xx how is your husband now?

 

[Janie M]

Hi @Teddy1960 to be absolutely honest he is much better with me being at home. But I suppose the downside is he wants me to be with him all the time, which can be a bit stifling. I was working and when I got home things were broke, missing etc so that’s why I called it a day. I worked for the council and to be honest they were not very obligingly to change my hours or let me work from home, so felt very let down. I totally understand how you must be feeling, and like you said, feel robbed of how things could have been. It’s been just over 4 months since I finished but it is what it is. Don’t want to miss any small good times we can have. Take care, Jane.x

 

[PalSal]

How comforting is your reply. It's so refreshing to hear the words "you have a life too" The admiral nurse came out for the first time today and her words were "you might have to give up work " Is it normal but I resent someone telling me what I have to do . I am not ready to be a full time carer i need the mental stimulation that work gives me it's my therapy xx

@Teddy1960 I am with you on this. Not only did I need the mental stimulation of work, I needed the money. My husband had no income after the age of 49 luckily he had been a very high earning executive prior to that so, there were some savings and investments. Somehow I managed. But accessing his early retirement was not possible until his was 55 (and it was penalized for taking it early) so I had 6 very difficult years. Sold the house, worked at a job which I did not like that much but paid well and provided for the kids. (We also had the difficulty of him loosing his job before he was diagnosed so the company took no responsibility for our financial situation and he received no disability) I had to work.
I hope you find a way to get him the care he requires while you continue to work as long as possible. Ask for help everywhere you can, church perhaps, look for walking groups (or whatever his interest is) and the fact is you will most likely have to shell out some money...like young mothers must for childcare...a portion of your earnings. Maybe he has some friend who is already retired who would take him on one day a week. (We have a wonderful friend who for a long time while I was working took my hubby for Fridays for years). MY last three years of work, I worked mostly from home and only part-time...a very flexible contract and situation.

 

[PalSal]

@Teddy1960 I am with you on this. Not only did I need the mental stimulation of work, I needed the money. My husband had no income after the age of 49 luckily he had been a very high earning executive prior to that so, there were some savings and investments. Somehow I managed. But accessing his early retirement was not possible until his was 55 (and it was penalized for taking it early) so I had 6 very difficult years. Sold the house, worked at a job which I did not like that much but paid well and provided for the kids. (We also had the difficulty of him loosing his job before he was diagnosed so the company took no responsibility for our financial situation and he received no disability) I had to work.
I hope you find a way to get him the care he requires while you continue to work as long as possible. Ask for help everywhere you can, church perhaps, look for walking groups (or whatever his interest is) and the fact is you will most likely have to shell out some money...like young mothers must for childcare...a portion of your earnings. Maybe he has some friend who is already retired who would take him on one day a week. (We have a wonderful friend who for a long time while I was working took my hubby for Fridays for years). MY last three years of work, I worked mostly from home and only part-time...a very flexible contract and situation.

@marionq Just saw Marionq post on this. I am sure she is much more informed about how things work in the uk. I do not know what one must pay for ....here I have had to pay for help myself , what I get to support him, is not enough and I could not have worked full time without paying for help.

 

[lovey11]

@Teddy1960 I am with you on this. Not only did I need the mental stimulation of work, I needed the money. My husband had no income after the age of 49 luckily he had been a very high earning executive prior to that so, there were some savings and investments. Somehow I managed. But accessing his early retirement was not possible until his was 55 (and it was penalized for taking it early) so I had 6 very difficult years. Sold the house, worked at a job which I did not like that much but paid well and provided for the kids. (We also had the difficulty of him loosing his job before he was diagnosed so the company took no responsibility for our financial situation and he received no disability) I had to work.
I hope you find a way to get him the care he requires while you continue to work as long as possible. Ask for help everywhere you can, church perhaps, look for walking groups (or whatever his interest is) and the fact is you will most likely have to shell out some money...like young mothers must for childcare...a portion of your earnings. Maybe he has some friend who is already retired who would take him on one day a week. (We have a wonderful friend who for a long time while I was working took my hubby for Fridays for years). MY last three years of work, I worked mostly from home and only part-time...a very flexible contract and situation.