Two Questions

[MaNaAk]

Thanks again Nitram. I'm thinking of contacting a solicitor earlier than anticipated because of my brother's visit today. He thinks that my caring for who was diagnosed with Alzheimers on the 6th January 2016 is peanuts compared to living in this house for 36 years. Of course he wouldn't like to know what I feel I need to tell the solicitor about their input!

MaNaAk

 

[MaNaAk]

Sorry to post this again but I think half of this thread was cut off. My brother can't understand why I am chasing up benefits and I can't expect the council to pay. He was also wondering why I couldn't get dad to have medication for aggression at home.

MaNaAk

 

[MaNaAk]

It looks like I may have posted the entire thread after all.

 

[MaNaAk]

Please see message 39 to see what happened today.

 

[MaNaAk]

Today I asked the care home manageress whether the nurse saw dad on Thursday and she said know so I asked her about applying for CHC for dad and she said that she could do a referral eventhough he doesn't fit the criteria so I shall see what happens.

Meanwhile my elder invisible seems to be working alongside me but he did say that if I wanted to see someone about a property disregard he would come with
me. I of course need to see a solicitor but I will have to have a meeting without him.

MaNaAk

 

[MaNaAk]

Just letting you know that both the nurse and the care home manageress think that dad won't get CHC and so I will have to think about what other benefits dad can get. When I was caring for dad I called the paramedics five times, he wandered out of the house a few times and became aggressive with the carers. I felt it was time to consider residential care but the fees are a concern.

At least one of my invisibles would like me to consider going back to the way things were. However dad is in a safe place and I have a year before dad's savings reach £23500. Work is picking up a bit and I am doing what Nitram suggests.

Where do we carers get the strength from?

MaNaAk

 

[MaNaAk]

I have cared for dad on my own for three years so I hope someone can understand why I put dad in a home.

MaNaAk

 

[charlie10]

I'm sure most people understand @MaNaAk ......I'm not a hands-on carer, more of an overseas worrier, but I think that anyone who does the hard yards is amazing, whatever their reasons! Since reading of people's experiences on this forum I have told all my children that when I can no longer look after myself they put me in a NH and visit me occasionally.....under no circumstances are they to put their lives on hold for me. Everyone is different and all families must do what is best for them, and no-one should be criticised for choosing a different way of caring. Who knew that you have to be a legal expert, nurse, cleaner, entertainer, negociator and general holder-of-things-together when your family gets to this stage!! Take care

 

[Amy in the US]

@MaNaAk, any of us who have cared (in any capacity) for someone with dementia will understand that a care home is a legitimate and reasonable choice that none of us make lightly.

One person cannot do all the care, 24/7, with no help or support and not suffer from it. A care home has an entire staff to handle all aspects of care in an environment designed and adapted to provide for the varying needs of adult residents with varying levels of cognition and their other medical needs.

You don’t need to defend your choices to us.

If your invisibles think caring for your dad at home is so easy, maybe they should have done it themselves! That was tongue in cheek.

I was never my mother’s live in carer and never would have attempted it. Trying to help her long distance was horrible. Being her carer with her in a care home still isn’t easy. Nothing about dementia is easy. I’m sorry you’re having such a difficult time.

 

[MaNaAk]

Thankyou both and all on Talking Point so much! I think I knew that the professionals would think that dad wouldn't qualify for CHC but it was worth giving some thought. It's just when you go back to the drawing board it can make you a bit fed up but dad's in a safe place with friends and his lady friend (resident G).

At least I can control my destiny whereas I was losing my grip with dad's Alzheimers. None of us chose to be in this position and Amy your right dad's in a home and we're still doing the caring. You wouldn't think I had two brothers. I have been following your threads about your mum and I think your doing a fantastic job and Charlie thankyou for your support as well.

MaNaAk

 

[MaNaAk]

Hello Everyone!

Not much to update here except to say that I have collected a lot of receipts and because the care home manageress and dementia nurse say that they don't think that dad fits the CHC criteria I am going to phone Age UK or go to the CAB within the next week.

Thankyou for your support

MaNaAk