Hello all.
Looks like I am joining many of you; they say strength in numbers.
Mom is at home here with myself and will stay here as long as its in her best interests. I have taken a career break from work 1 year to make sure she is "Pain free/comfortable/happy."
My Mom was 86 in November and up until 21st August 2018 doing well bit confused (no diagnosis waiting 6 months doctor said but then we were overtaken by events)
Also registered blind due to late onset dry macular degeneration, when we lost my Dad (2015) however since Oct 2017 started getting water infections (had 4 but none needed in stay at hospital 1 needed fluids as an GP referral she was also steadily reducing her eating. But mobile happy and still chatting away with neighbours and only using walking stick outside.
On 21st August 2018 she went out for lunch with my sister and brother in law, came home and she said I will have an early night if you don't mind and went to bed that was the last time she got came downstairs. She had a water infection that cleared with oral antibiotics but she became delusional ; however we had a bad 4 weeks and then we had an improvement. That then became a downward spiral then a slight upturn you all know the way it goes sadly.
In November the GP came out on a regular visit and came out with a statement which was life changing for all of us she informed us in the nicest way possible that Mom was dying she had changed colour (we now know is a sign) and at that point she had been sleeping 23 hours out of 24 and to be honest what the Doctor said was exactly as I now know my sister and I had been thinking. My brother was totally floored it never dawned on him I do not think. A "Just in case kit ordered and still here and forms filled in. District nurses asked to attend we were on the journey.
Anyhow fast forward to now Mom is still in bed she gets up to use the toilet but that's it now straight back to bed not always sleeping however but does not really want conversation more than a few words and has lost weight due to hardly eating for a few months now down to about 7 stone (was in 2017 Nov 10 stone 6) eats a few bites of a sandwich, maybe if we are lucky a few bites of a French fancy or jam tart.
We realise that she is not dying because she is not eating; but not eating because she is dying. Chest
infection Christmas week (slight crackle no more) resolved with oral antibiotics 5 day course. Had Doctor out last week and she said had seen her worse but also seen her a lot better since August chest and water tests clear just weak and tired (remarkably so) her skin in thinning and we are trying to keep it okay. I found myself last night thinking "passing in your sleep now would break us but carrying on as you are will kill us"
So here I am Mom is on no medication in no pain talking makes the odd joke but is tired tells us she has spoken by telephone (impossible no house phone connected for peace) to her brothers who are deceased and sisters also deceased. She knows who we all are but cannot seem to stay with us enough for a conversation now of linger than 5 minutes without eyes closing. No illness .
So after that I join you all....waiting. Hello.
Looks like I am joining many of you; they say strength in numbers.
Mom is at home here with myself and will stay here as long as its in her best interests. I have taken a career break from work 1 year to make sure she is "Pain free/comfortable/happy."
My Mom was 86 in November and up until 21st August 2018 doing well bit confused (no diagnosis waiting 6 months doctor said but then we were overtaken by events)
Also registered blind due to late onset dry macular degeneration, when we lost my Dad (2015) however since Oct 2017 started getting water infections (had 4 but none needed in stay at hospital 1 needed fluids as an GP referral she was also steadily reducing her eating. But mobile happy and still chatting away with neighbours and only using walking stick outside.
On 21st August 2018 she went out for lunch with my sister and brother in law, came home and she said I will have an early night if you don't mind and went to bed that was the last time she got came downstairs. She had a water infection that cleared with oral antibiotics but she became delusional ; however we had a bad 4 weeks and then we had an improvement. That then became a downward spiral then a slight upturn you all know the way it goes sadly.
In November the GP came out on a regular visit and came out with a statement which was life changing for all of us she informed us in the nicest way possible that Mom was dying she had changed colour (we now know is a sign) and at that point she had been sleeping 23 hours out of 24 and to be honest what the Doctor said was exactly as I now know my sister and I had been thinking. My brother was totally floored it never dawned on him I do not think. A "Just in case kit ordered and still here and forms filled in. District nurses asked to attend we were on the journey.
Anyhow fast forward to now Mom is still in bed she gets up to use the toilet but that's it now straight back to bed not always sleeping however but does not really want conversation more than a few words and has lost weight due to hardly eating for a few months now down to about 7 stone (was in 2017 Nov 10 stone 6) eats a few bites of a sandwich, maybe if we are lucky a few bites of a French fancy or jam tart.
We realise that she is not dying because she is not eating; but not eating because she is dying. Chest
infection Christmas week (slight crackle no more) resolved with oral antibiotics 5 day course. Had Doctor out last week and she said had seen her worse but also seen her a lot better since August chest and water tests clear just weak and tired (remarkably so) her skin in thinning and we are trying to keep it okay. I found myself last night thinking "passing in your sleep now would break us but carrying on as you are will kill us"
So here I am Mom is on no medication in no pain talking makes the odd joke but is tired tells us she has spoken by telephone (impossible no house phone connected for peace) to her brothers who are deceased and sisters also deceased. She knows who we all are but cannot seem to stay with us enough for a conversation now of linger than 5 minutes without eyes closing. No illness .
So after that I join you all....waiting. Hello.