OH has been aggressive and violent today, it was triggered by me talking to an old friend in Sainsbury’s coffee shop while he was sat waiting for me. I was talking for no more than 10 minutes he started shouting at me and trying to trip me up while shopping. He started again when we got home pushing me and grabbing me by the throat. I managed to ring the mental health nurse who did come about an hour later. He calmed down knowing she was coming. They were going to reduce his risperidone as he had been ok for a few weeks. He has been horrible since she left threatening me never to bring people here accusing me of all sorts and wants me out. I have given him antidepressants and risperidone and he has finally calmed down and is now reading the paper. I just don’t know what to do, this mood and aggression seem to happen about every 12 weeks with more confusion and worsening memory. Advice welcome.
Paranoia and aggression
- Thread starter Guzelle
- Start date
Do you have a room with a lock that you could go into to stay safe if he grabs you again?
Also, always carry a charged mobile on you at all times so that you can call for help in an emergency.
Also, always carry a charged mobile on you at all times so that you can call for help in an emergency.
Please call the police if it happens again, my husband was the same and a coup!e of weeks before Christmas I called the police, they called for an ambulance and he was admitted, the police would not let him stay as they were afraid for my safety. He has now been transferred to a care home and is waiting to be assessed, the first meeting was today and the second one is next Tuesday, hopefully they will transfer him to a home that is closer as he is about 20miles away and I can only afford to visit it once a week. Please stay safe. Lx
Hi Guzelle:
You did right by calling the mental health nurse right away. It is (hopefully) on record with them. Please don't wait until it happens again, put it on record now with his doctor, your children, close friends and even the police (you might want his doctor to inform them). His doctor might change or give him extra medication to help him relax. These bouts of aggression are not good for either of you. You are helping him more by getting him the help he needs to stay calm. In turn you will be safer, HE DOESN'T WANT TO INJURE YOU. Like the others said keep a charged phone with you at all times with a room that you can lock from the inside.
Please Take care& Be Careful.
I'm so sorry to hear this, @Guzelle. It was good you rang the nurse and I hope they can get his medication sorted and that will help.
In the meantime, please don't just hope he will be calmer, please actively keep yourself safe. We don't want anything to happen to you. If you were injured, who would look after your OH? Staying safe is for both your best interests. As above, the aggression and upset isn't good for either of you.
Your daughter is pregnant, I think? And her presence lately has upset him? I hope you can have a pleasant visit.
Definitely keep a charged mobile handy and know where you can go (a room in the house you can lock, a neighbour) if needed and don't hesitate to ring 999!
I hope you will keep us updated. Stay safe and best wishes.
In the meantime, please don't just hope he will be calmer, please actively keep yourself safe. We don't want anything to happen to you. If you were injured, who would look after your OH? Staying safe is for both your best interests. As above, the aggression and upset isn't good for either of you.
Your daughter is pregnant, I think? And her presence lately has upset him? I hope you can have a pleasant visit.
Definitely keep a charged mobile handy and know where you can go (a room in the house you can lock, a neighbour) if needed and don't hesitate to ring 999!
I hope you will keep us updated. Stay safe and best wishes.
OH a bit calmer today the nurse told me to give him an extra tablet which I have done and he seems a bit better. I went walking with the walking group this afternoon but he wouldn’t come so he went on his own. He was saying he wants a divorce as I don’t care about him. He is calmer tonight my daughter who is pregnant came for tea and he has been quiet but pleasant. I’ve been told to keep him on the extra dose for 2,weeks.
I have contacted a befriending service where someone will come and keep him company or take him out once a week but he doesn’t want anyone. It would help me have a bit of time on my own and have a spa day with my daughter. He says he is ok on his own but he gets very confused and sometimes can’t even get the TV on.
I can never do anything right!
I have contacted a befriending service where someone will come and keep him company or take him out once a week but he doesn’t want anyone. It would help me have a bit of time on my own and have a spa day with my daughter. He says he is ok on his own but he gets very confused and sometimes can’t even get the TV on.
I can never do anything right!
Hi Guzelle,
You did exactly the right thing by ringing the mental health nurse .
Before my hubby was prescribed risperidone , my world was just like yours , I learnt to always have my house keys, phone and charger and car keys in my bag ready so that I could leave the house instantly hubby ‘s mood changed. I even had a change of clothes and overnight bag in the boot .
He hates being on his own , he becomes very confused and fragile and would userly put himself to bed . On occasion his verbal abuse ,shouting and yelling was so bad , I would leave the house and check into a hotel for the night and return first thing in the morning to find him , afraid , mixed up and wondering where I was.
Have you registered with the Emergengecy response team ?
Things got so bad one night my hubby thought I had gone to our sons house and he rang him at least 10 times until my son had no choice but to unplug the phone , as a result of this our son then became involved and he rang our surgery and informed the G P as to what was going on . The GP ‘s at the surgery have been brilliant we have had so much support . My advise would be don’t hesitate to ring the police if you feel threatened and leave the house . Tell your GP everything , don’t hold back. I wish I had 2 years ago.
You did exactly the right thing by ringing the mental health nurse .
Before my hubby was prescribed risperidone , my world was just like yours , I learnt to always have my house keys, phone and charger and car keys in my bag ready so that I could leave the house instantly hubby ‘s mood changed. I even had a change of clothes and overnight bag in the boot .
He hates being on his own , he becomes very confused and fragile and would userly put himself to bed . On occasion his verbal abuse ,shouting and yelling was so bad , I would leave the house and check into a hotel for the night and return first thing in the morning to find him , afraid , mixed up and wondering where I was.
Have you registered with the Emergengecy response team ?
Things got so bad one night my hubby thought I had gone to our sons house and he rang him at least 10 times until my son had no choice but to unplug the phone , as a result of this our son then became involved and he rang our surgery and informed the G P as to what was going on . The GP ‘s at the surgery have been brilliant we have had so much support . My advise would be don’t hesitate to ring the police if you feel threatened and leave the house . Tell your GP everything , don’t hold back. I wish I had 2 years ago.
@Guzelle what you describe sounds like my sisters experience with her husband. He had vascular dementia possibly with Alzheimer's too. The aggression and downturn were usually accompanied by a bad headache and then a noticeable decline. This was due to small strokes. Is that possibly what is going on with your husband?
Hi @Guzelle
I wish I could but I can’t give you any advice because things are so similar for me. When I read your post I felt I had to reply because yesterday my husband put his hands round my throat. There was no pressure it was the lightest of touch, but nevertheless he put his hands right around my throat. It shocked me.
I’m used to his verbal aggression. If something doesn’t suit him, or he can’t work it out, his frustration gets the better of him and he shouts and swears. The swearing gets to me. He has never sworn, all his life I never heard him using the F word. But now it is every other word.
I know his mood and aggression, and his recent memory, has changed over past few weeks.
I hope you are ok. Please take care, B xx
Hi @Sad Staffs sorry you are going through similar situation. OH has calmed down today. Had difficulty getting the risperidone so have now ran out!. The mental health nurse left a prescription at the chemist on Wednesday and when I went this morning was told they did not have the prescription. So I rang the nurse she wasn’t there so left a message so I went home, she finally rang back at tea time and said she had left it there and spoke to the pharmacist. So I’ll go back tomorrow but he has now missed a dose, As if I haven’t got enough to deal with!
I’ve also been reading about constipation and dementia where this can cause more aggression and confusion, so more prunes are needed.
I’ve also been reading about constipation and dementia where this can cause more aggression and confusion, so more prunes are needed.
Lots of physical issues can cause a change in behavior in someone with dementia. They might get anxious or confused or aggressive or tired or violent or upset-or all or none of the above. My mother gets both confused and agitated when she has an infection.
Common issues that can cause a behavior change in someone with dementia include constipation, dehydration, infection, medication problems, stroke/TIAs, untreated pain, and blood pressure issues (especially orthostatic hypotension, also called postural hypotension).
Sorry about the prescription issues. I agree you have more than enough to be getting on with right now!
Common issues that can cause a behavior change in someone with dementia include constipation, dehydration, infection, medication problems, stroke/TIAs, untreated pain, and blood pressure issues (especially orthostatic hypotension, also called postural hypotension).
Sorry about the prescription issues. I agree you have more than enough to be getting on with right now!
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