Hello just starting the journey with my Dad

[Fab47]

I've already asked a couple of questions on this forum and received some really helpful advice so thought I'd better introduce myself!

My Dad has just been diagnosed with mild-moderate Alzheimers with the nurse saying his cognitive impairments are very significant and he achieved 11/26 on the memory element of the Addenbrooks test. My Mum was covering up for him and refused to take him to the doctors and sadly she passed away a couple of months ago which has really made it clear how bad he is. He's so lost and lonely without her as she had been doing literally everything for him. He's just a lost soul its very sad to see. I'm trying my best but I'm an only child and I have young children of my own and I live three hours drive away. Its so tricky trying to figure out what's best for him and get all the practicalities sorted out, I feel as if I'm playing catch up as this entire process should have been started three years ago when the first symptons became obvious. I feel bad because maybe I should have tried harder to persuade my Mum to take him to the doctor but she just would not listen to me and I was so frightened of interfering. I do wish I'd done what my head was telling me to do which was to write to the doctor behind her back but I just didn't feel comfortable doing that.

Anyway I guess all I can do now is do the best with where we are at right now and make sure I do everything I can for him.

 

[One Moment At A Time]

Hi & thanks for you reaching out, I too beeing Dx for a # of yrs., with memory loss & been prescribed with Namenda XR 28 MG, Aricept 5MG, Vit., D 2,000 MG & Turmetic 1000MG, I live in the USA, furthermore I'm a Disabled U. S. Army veteran, my advice to you check your 'love ones' monthly fanancial resources, health insurance coverage, if your dad qualifys for any government services where he lives, furthermore seek profesional health counseling, * friend -- easy does it / baby steps & one day at a time

 

[Shedrech]

hello @Fab47
good to know that you are settling in here and finding TP supportive and helpful
I think most of us have some kind of 'what if' or 'if only' moments - as you say, though, what matters is that we just do what we can now, accept that 'good enough' is fine (the best isn't always possible) and don't beat ourselves up about anything
and keep posting

 

[canary]

Hello @Fab47 Your story is unfortunately only too common.
Im glad you now have a diagnosis. Has your dad done POA? If not (and assuming he stall has capacity) now is the time to do it while you still can.
I also assume that you have got in touch with Social Services for Needs Assessment, although if he has savings over £25,000 you can just go ahead and organise carers if you need them. If you reach an emergency and cannot keep your dad safe, please get onto SS for an emergency placement.
xx