Hi everyone,
I feel like I am in a bit of unique situation but thought I would post on here just in case anyone had any suggestions or was in a vaguely similar situation. My Dad is 80 in a week and has recently got divorced from my Mum. After the sale of the marital home, my Dad has moved in with my family (I am in my early 30's and all he has got) and I really do not know what to do with him.
I have been concerned about his memory for some time and I am currently awaiting the follow up appointment with the memory clinic. I took him there because, amongst other things, he crashed his car and couldn't remember where it was and had us driving around a completely different area to where it actually was looking for it.
Since he has moved in, about 3 weeks ago, I have noticed even more so how repetitive he is. He is verging on obsessed with doing the lottery (asking several times has he put on it/can we put it on/when are we putting it on/is it on), he forgets where things are and I have also noticed that he seems to create situations for example he says he has been out for a walk but I know he hasn't left the house because he doesn't have a key to get back in. I have almost convinced myself he has Dementia (my Nan has Vascular Dementia and I can see so many similarities between the two) but also would not be surprised if he is depressed given that it has taken over 5 years for the divorce to be completed and the house to be sold.
I am in the process of helping him to buy a retirement flat near me but I am very worried that he won't be able to cope. The flat, service charge, rent etc isn't cheap and I am worried, given his age, he will only be there a couple of years if we're lucky and then we will be stuck trying to sell it. It is in a great location, right on top of the high street but it is an area he is unfamiliar with. I have looked into sheltered/assisted housing/private renting but there doesn't seem much available at the moment or within his budget. My concern is committing him to the flat. While I am happy to have him with us on a temporary basis, and as awful as I feel saying it, he can't stay with us long term because I am expecting my second child. The pressure of trying to decide what is best for him and my family along with the guilt of not being able to look after him is quite overwhelming, I feel at a loss and not quite sure where to turn. Has anyone had any experience of buying a retirement flat? Any info would be greatly appreciated.
I feel like I am in a bit of unique situation but thought I would post on here just in case anyone had any suggestions or was in a vaguely similar situation. My Dad is 80 in a week and has recently got divorced from my Mum. After the sale of the marital home, my Dad has moved in with my family (I am in my early 30's and all he has got) and I really do not know what to do with him.
I have been concerned about his memory for some time and I am currently awaiting the follow up appointment with the memory clinic. I took him there because, amongst other things, he crashed his car and couldn't remember where it was and had us driving around a completely different area to where it actually was looking for it.
Since he has moved in, about 3 weeks ago, I have noticed even more so how repetitive he is. He is verging on obsessed with doing the lottery (asking several times has he put on it/can we put it on/when are we putting it on/is it on), he forgets where things are and I have also noticed that he seems to create situations for example he says he has been out for a walk but I know he hasn't left the house because he doesn't have a key to get back in. I have almost convinced myself he has Dementia (my Nan has Vascular Dementia and I can see so many similarities between the two) but also would not be surprised if he is depressed given that it has taken over 5 years for the divorce to be completed and the house to be sold.
I am in the process of helping him to buy a retirement flat near me but I am very worried that he won't be able to cope. The flat, service charge, rent etc isn't cheap and I am worried, given his age, he will only be there a couple of years if we're lucky and then we will be stuck trying to sell it. It is in a great location, right on top of the high street but it is an area he is unfamiliar with. I have looked into sheltered/assisted housing/private renting but there doesn't seem much available at the moment or within his budget. My concern is committing him to the flat. While I am happy to have him with us on a temporary basis, and as awful as I feel saying it, he can't stay with us long term because I am expecting my second child. The pressure of trying to decide what is best for him and my family along with the guilt of not being able to look after him is quite overwhelming, I feel at a loss and not quite sure where to turn. Has anyone had any experience of buying a retirement flat? Any info would be greatly appreciated.