My Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's three years ago. Up until fairly recently he was living at home with my Mum who has a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder. Earlier this year my Dad began receiving help with his personal care twice a day. His incontinence started becoming more of a problem for my Mum to manage and he started wearing pads even though he hated them.
In October we suspected he had a UTI and he was given antibiotics. This was never reviewed and towards the end of October his behaviour became more and more difficult. He started refusing personal care. I was going round most evenings to help because the carers weren't getting anywhere. My Mum was washing bedding and clothing everyday and was having to get it dried at the laundrette otherwise we would have run out. My mum found it very difficult to cope and she had a fall which exacerbated everything. Dad wasn't sleeping through the night and would wander. Dads skin started breaking down because he wasn't washing properly. We were struggling to manage his bowels because he would swing between diarrhoea and constipation. He must have been in a lot of discomfort.
He was then admitted to hospital with cellulitis and has been in hospital for about three weeks. We had a 'best interest' meeting and they said that they don't think the house is safe for Dad and my Mum has said she can't cope with looking after him anymore. Before he went into hospital he was mobile and would go for walks with me but he hasn't walked since being in the hospital. The physios have tried to get him up and have said that he can physically walk but when they try to help him get out of bed he gets agitated if they touch him. He doesn't understand their instructions. He will sometimes look like he wants to get up but the physios aren't there at that point to help. I have managed to get him up but it takes a long time and I haven't been there all the time which makes me feel guilty.
I feel like there was something I should have done to stop it from getting to this point. I feel like I've let him down. The hospital have now started talking about a continuing healthcare assessment 'pathway 3' but I am trying to get to grips with what this means. I've seen the difference that having a break has done for my mum. She can sleep the night through and do things she couldn't before. I've started looking at nursing homes but am finding it hard to come to terms with it and am terrified that I won't be able to find the right place. I am worried that Dad won't walk again. Everything seems to be such a long process. I just don't know what to do and I feel awful. I can't see the right way out of it.
Sorry this is such a long post.
In October we suspected he had a UTI and he was given antibiotics. This was never reviewed and towards the end of October his behaviour became more and more difficult. He started refusing personal care. I was going round most evenings to help because the carers weren't getting anywhere. My Mum was washing bedding and clothing everyday and was having to get it dried at the laundrette otherwise we would have run out. My mum found it very difficult to cope and she had a fall which exacerbated everything. Dad wasn't sleeping through the night and would wander. Dads skin started breaking down because he wasn't washing properly. We were struggling to manage his bowels because he would swing between diarrhoea and constipation. He must have been in a lot of discomfort.
He was then admitted to hospital with cellulitis and has been in hospital for about three weeks. We had a 'best interest' meeting and they said that they don't think the house is safe for Dad and my Mum has said she can't cope with looking after him anymore. Before he went into hospital he was mobile and would go for walks with me but he hasn't walked since being in the hospital. The physios have tried to get him up and have said that he can physically walk but when they try to help him get out of bed he gets agitated if they touch him. He doesn't understand their instructions. He will sometimes look like he wants to get up but the physios aren't there at that point to help. I have managed to get him up but it takes a long time and I haven't been there all the time which makes me feel guilty.
I feel like there was something I should have done to stop it from getting to this point. I feel like I've let him down. The hospital have now started talking about a continuing healthcare assessment 'pathway 3' but I am trying to get to grips with what this means. I've seen the difference that having a break has done for my mum. She can sleep the night through and do things she couldn't before. I've started looking at nursing homes but am finding it hard to come to terms with it and am terrified that I won't be able to find the right place. I am worried that Dad won't walk again. Everything seems to be such a long process. I just don't know what to do and I feel awful. I can't see the right way out of it.
Sorry this is such a long post.
