Christmas guilt

[Hazel P]

I am spending a few days with my dad, who lives alone with Alzheimer’s. We have kept to his normal routine but I’ve added a trip to the pantomime and some festive food treats. I will be leaving on Christmas Day morning to travel to my in laws to join the rest of the family incl. my husband and kids for the rest of Christmas Week. I hate to think of leaving my dad alone. I can’t take him with me. I hate this situation. I hate this disease and what it robs us all of. I hate having to put on a brave face .

 

[AliceA]

Your Dad, will remember the feeling of love your visit will bring into his life, the actual day is not so important but feelings are, build up good memories with your own family. Safe journey, x

 

[Vix321]

I know it's easier said that done, but try not to feel guilty. You have absolutely done the right thing by your Dad. You have spent some good quality time with him while ensuring that he has been able to maintain his usual routine - I know it doesn't always feel like it, but this is infinitely more kind for him than taking him away from a familiar environment & familiar routine. He will have felt that love during your visit and those feelings will stay with him x

 

[Hazel P]

Thank you AliceA and Vix, your messages of support and reassurance were exactly what I needed.

 

[fortune]

Routine is vital for helping PWDs to cope. If you've managed a little Christmas cheer for him then well done. Don't feel at all bad - he probably wouldn't cope well with anything more.

 

[Fab47]

I really understand my Dad has finally been diagnosed with mild to moderate Alzheimer's but it's been obvious for three years that he's not been well. My Mum would not take him to the doctors and sadly she passed away this year leaving me with a bit of a nightmare situation to sort out .

Anyway we live 150 miles from him but ended up coming and renting a cottage near him over Christmas as we knew he wouldn't cope with coming to us or having us and the children staying with him. It was a compromise and we only ended up having him over for a few hours each day. He was so anxious being in unfamiliar surroundings that he just kept asking when he was going home .

Still we did our best for him I guess I have to be happy with that. It's a horrible disease to have to watch someone suffer with .