Someone remind me....is this part of dementia?
- Thread starter maryjoan
- Start date
So difficult for you. I care for my wife who's dementia stared in 2011 (first symptoms). She is now severely affected - talks nonsense (mostly) is immobile and I have double carers twice a day who help me a lot. The point I am trying to make is that Alzheimer sufferers behaviour changes gradually over the months and years. I was thinking recently how much easier my caring has become since my OH stopped walking. Yes it means carers in at least twice a day, a lot of "hands-on" personal washing and I usually have to do two or more washing/drying cycles per day, meds and food preparing etc - all in all a lot of work but the behaviour before was driving me mad. All the police calls (they were magnificent) when she "escaped" and wandered the streets. The noise she made a nights, the moving things so I couldn't find them and most of all the interrupted sleep every night. These things were much more difficult to endure than the behaviour now. During bad times I sometimes think of the quotation: "All thing pass...". It help me appreciate (sometimes!) that I still have a bit of my wife. You MUST take some time for yourself in any way you can. Otherwise you will go off bang and that will be much worse than a little inconvenience to your OH when you need down time.
His son included some dates in his Christmas card to us, when he can come down and take OH away overnight to give me a break. OH read the card with joy and looks forward to all THREE of us going away some where - he has no comprehension that I need to get away from him, now and again..........so I need to make this work somehow.
Yes, this sounds familiar. Apart from getting up very early, my OH also does something a bit similar - gets ready for bed, then puts all his clothes back on and wants to go out for a walk! Will I ever get a nights sleep? Given up hope of that!
Hi there maryjoan, as the illness /syndrome develops the person suffering dementia goes through so many changes. Each change is individual to your other half. But do not forget that you also go through these changes with him. Try to think about this and it might allow you to get an understanding of the process as it continues.
As I see it you are seeing changes to his behaviour. You say he sits in front of the TV all day, does not move and sits up late. There is your answer- as he goes through the stages of dementia and because of the Tangles associated with the dementia in the brain messages in the thinking part of the brain get mixed up and that is why he is doing what he does. To him he might think that he is at work and doing a really good job even though he is just sitting there doing nothing. Here comes the tricky part because he is doing nothing all day just looking at the TV, he is not using energy and it gets stored up so he does not need the same sleep as we do. Possibly 2-3 hours and he is again very refreshed wanting to start his day as the day before and the day before that, and the next day to.
Do you ever try to make basic conversation with him or as it might seem silly to you play some mental games with him so that his brain has been stimulated rather than watching Jeremy Kyle and all the other day time rubbish that they put on. If his brain has been stimulated then the energy is being used so he will sleep for longer periods. Some form of exercise will help get the surplus energy removed from his body. Going to day care 3 times a week can also allow you to have the time to yourself. Then there is respite care at a local nursing home for a week or so.
Contact your social worker or care of the older persons mental health team for assistance. Don't live with this problem alone because with out proper sleep yourself you are going to become more stressed than you are already now. Best regards Oldman1952
As I see it you are seeing changes to his behaviour. You say he sits in front of the TV all day, does not move and sits up late. There is your answer- as he goes through the stages of dementia and because of the Tangles associated with the dementia in the brain messages in the thinking part of the brain get mixed up and that is why he is doing what he does. To him he might think that he is at work and doing a really good job even though he is just sitting there doing nothing. Here comes the tricky part because he is doing nothing all day just looking at the TV, he is not using energy and it gets stored up so he does not need the same sleep as we do. Possibly 2-3 hours and he is again very refreshed wanting to start his day as the day before and the day before that, and the next day to.
Do you ever try to make basic conversation with him or as it might seem silly to you play some mental games with him so that his brain has been stimulated rather than watching Jeremy Kyle and all the other day time rubbish that they put on. If his brain has been stimulated then the energy is being used so he will sleep for longer periods. Some form of exercise will help get the surplus energy removed from his body. Going to day care 3 times a week can also allow you to have the time to yourself. Then there is respite care at a local nursing home for a week or so.
Contact your social worker or care of the older persons mental health team for assistance. Don't live with this problem alone because with out proper sleep yourself you are going to become more stressed than you are already now. Best regards Oldman1952
Hello, and thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with me. I can see what you are saying especially about sitting in front of the TV,because he frequently does not know what he is watching, so, as you say, in his mind, he could be doing something else. I had not thought of that, so thank you very much indeed.
We have always played scrabble as a hobby. We keep a book with a running total of games won/lost. When I first knew him, he would, by the end of the year, be perhaps 150 games won ahead of me - he was really good, and played to win. Now it has changed, I am games ahead of him - not 150, but still a good number, and I have not improved. He seems to be realising this, and is not happy about it. He makes basic mistakes, that he would never have done before. I know it is good for him to play, and I do try to give him a better chance of him winning without him knowing. He also likes to play suduko although he has given up the 'killer' ones in favour of more basic ones.
He knows he has dementia, but insists it does not affect him. He will not go to day care or similar, but a couple of lovely chaps in the village will give him a game of snooker now and again, which he is still reasonable at.
I had only little sleep last night as he was up and down all night - I took him his coffee this morning and mentioned it, and he just said "Tough!" which is not him at all, and more like a petulant child.
I suppose, it is what it is, at the end of the day - I miss the companionship and conversation more than I can ever say.
Hi Oldman, just wondering how you are, I've been reading all of your posts. My husband has frontotemporal dementia with motorneuronedisease. Would love to talk about life with these devastating diseases. Regards, Col
Hello @Coley 1975 welcome to DTP, I would just to point out this is quite an old post and the poster hasn’t been online since posting back then.
I hope now you have found the forum you will continue to post for support and to share your experiences.
I hope now you have found the forum you will continue to post for support and to share your experiences.
Hello @Coley 1975
A warm welcome from me too
I wonder whether some of the videos here may be of interest
www.penninecare.nhs.uk
There are current members who will recognise your situation so do keep posting ... maybe start a thread of your own when you're ready with whatever is on your mind
A warm welcome from me too
I wonder whether some of the videos here may be of interest
Info for carers, family and friends :: Pennine Care NHS Foundation Trust
There are current members who will recognise your situation so do keep posting ... maybe start a thread of your own when you're ready with whatever is on your mind
