Driving

[Fab47]

As part of investigations/ tests my dad was asked to do a driving assessment which involved someone going out in his car with him . To my absolute amazement he passed it (even though the assessor said he forgot the way home?!) I'm shocked because I was hoping for a recommendation for him to stop driving for his safety and for others on the road.

If he gets diagnosed with dementia can the consultant still recommend he stops driving as I'm sure he is not safe but what else can I do ?!

 

[karaokePete]

My wife’s consultant didn’t tell her to stop driving when she was diagnosed. He just advised us that the DVLA and the Insurers had to be told so that they could take whatever action they required.

Initially my wife wanted to continue driving but as she had already had an incident where she couldn’t find the car and could no longer use simple kitchen equipment I told her that I wouldn’t travel as her passenger and that even if she could pass any assessment I considered she would be a danger to others. She accepted these points and quickly stopped asking about it.

We were lucky about it as her license expired at the same time as her diagnosis and she never did drive much anyway.

I know from past threads that this is often a difficult issue. Some members have resorted to selling the car!

 

[Fab47]

My wife’s consultant didn’t tell her to stop driving when she was diagnosed. He just advised us that the DVLA and the Insurers had to be told so that they could take whatever action they required.

Initially my wife wanted to continue driving but as she had already had an incident where she couldn’t find the car and could no longer use simple kitchen equipment I told her that I wouldn’t travel as her passenger and that even if she could pass any assessment I considered she would be a danger to others. She accepted these points and quickly stopped asking about it.

We were lucky about it as her license expired at the same time as her diagnosis and she never did drive much anyway.

I know from past threads that this is often a difficult issue. Some members have resorted to selling the car!

Thank you for your reply ! I'm just so shocked that he is considered safe to drive - I can believe that he remembers how to actually drive but i am convinced he couldnt react to an emergency situation.

I will see what the consultant says in a couple of weeks and hope that he suggests that Dad stop driving . At the initial memory clinic appointment I told the nurse that under no circumstances would I get in the car when he was driving !

 

[karaokePete]

Yes, my concern was the same as yours. I didn’t want to deflate my wife so I told her that I didn’t doubt that she could still drive better than many people on the road but that I didn’t think she could react quickly enough to remain safe in an emergency. She accepted that.

At first she did keep asking to drive but I just resolutely told her the same thing and she soon stopped asking. She enjoys using her bus pass anyway, as she gets to chat to people at the stop and on the bus.

 

[Fab47]

I've now established that all the assessor did was ask him to drive round the village which is only about 2 miles. And the four roundabouts that the assessor said he'd gone round were mini roundabouts !
Dad is convinced that he's driven to lots of places lately that I know he hasn't so I'm wondering if he actually convinced the assessor that he had done ? It's almost like he had the guy completely fooled ? Although the assessor did say he couldn't remember the way home which you would have thought might have concerned him bearing in mind they were just round the corner ? I hope the consultant can either tell him to stop driving or convince me that I do not need to worry.

Thank you for your advice though I may try that angle with Dad.

 

[Duggies-girl]

Hi @Fab47 If you don't feel safe with your dad then he is probably not safe.

I had to stop dad driving when he mislaid his car in town. I am so glad it happened now as something awful would have happened if he had continued driving.

As above , if you are worried then report him. He will never know it was you.

 

[Lynmax]

I was told by the nurse conducting the memory tests with mum that a doctor would not tell the DVLA of a diagnosis as it would be a breach of patient confidentiality.

However, when the consultant visited with his diagnosis, he asked me what outcomes I was hoping for from his visit - he sent mum out to make him a cup of tea. I said that I wanted mum to stop driving and to set up LPAs. He then told mum of his diagnosis and said she ought to do those two things in a very firm tone of voice which convinced mum!

 

[Ruth1974]

My husband is still driving, his licence is renewed annually. His actual driving is fine, the distance he drives is reducing - a year ago he would drive to a town 10 miles away, now he pops to the local shop, 3 miles. He would get lost if he went very far.

You can tell medical professionals privately that you are concerned or report your concerns to the DVLA. Im hoping that for my o/h driving will simply fizzle out over the next year or so and then the car will just sit on the drive (he'd freak if it went away).

 

[Fab47]

Thank you for all your advice . My Dad has finally been officially diagnosed with Alzheimer's at mild to moderate stage . The consultant said we inform the DVLA and they contact him. I had to fill the form in myself as Dad is way beyond doing that now. It asked what help is needed at home so I listed the lot ! Me doing all his finances / paperwork etc a cleaner, carers to help with personal hygiene as he will not wash or change clothes and to do day to day chores, meals on wheels as he can't prepare any food himself etc etc . I also enclosed a letter stating that I do not think he is fit to drive anymore. I'm hoping that's enough for them to take his licence.


I feel so sorry for him but I'd never forgive myself if he caused an accident.

 

[Duggies-girl]

Thank you for all your advice . My Dad has finally been officially diagnosed with Alzheimer's at mild to moderate stage . The consultant said we inform the DVLA and they contact him. I had to fill the form in myself as Dad is way beyond doing that now. It asked what help is needed at home so I listed the lot ! Me doing all his finances / paperwork etc a cleaner, carers to help with personal hygiene as he will not wash or change clothes and to do day to day chores, meals on wheels as he can't prepare any food himself etc etc . I also enclosed a letter stating that I do not think he is fit to drive anymore. I'm hoping that's enough for them to take his licence.

I feel so sorry for him but I'd never forgive myself if he caused an accident.

Hi @Fab47 don't feel bad, you have done the right thing. You will probably find that it won't be long before your dad starts telling everyone that he decided to give up of his own accord because he felt it was the right time or because of his age. It will be any reason he can think of but it will have nothing to do with alzhiemers or inability to drive.

You can breathe a little easier now as it's a weight off your mind. Well done.

 

[Grannie G]

I feel so sorry for him but I'd never forgive myself if he caused an accident.

This is how I felt too @Fab47.

My husband`s spatial awareness was affected early on and he kept clashing with side mirrors and overtaking dangerously close to other cars. Before I could report him he fell and broke his arm. By the time he was fit to drive he had lost all confidence which was a big relief for me.

My mother could never remember where she was parked and often went on the motorways to `give the car a little run`.
I reported her to the DVLA and they wrote to ask for her licence.

 

[AliceA]

The family, without evidence, made a few remarks about my husband's ability to drive.
I persuade him to go for an advanced driving test, he did well and a few minor things were pointed out. He was about to take the advanced test when he became ill and was in hospital.

That was a tipping point.
The consultant said she could not tell him to stop but would advise it. I backed this up by saying that he was a good driver but others were not.
I felt at our age if something went wrong we could not cope as in the past.
We gave the car to a daughter who lives away.
He now sees it without a qualm, occassionly now we have no bus, a remark is made about having a car.
The advanced driving route preserved his dignity.

 

[Fab47]

Thanks to everyone who advised me what to do, my Dad did get officially diagnosed with mild to moderate Alzheimers two weeks ago. The consultant said we had to inform the DVLA and their medical department would write to him for feedback before making a decision on his driving. I had to fill the form in for Dad as he is unable to do anything like that anymore so I took the opportunity to enclose a letter saying that in my opinion he was not fit to drive any longer and I would not let him drive me anywhere.
Anyway the result was that he got a letter a couple of days ago revoking his licence. He was a little upset but seems to have accepted it. I feel so relieved.