How do people cope with the relentless toil of assisting a person with advanced dementia? Double incontinence, delusions ( i have just been propositioned by my own dad) providing constant reassurance of where dad is who we are, who the pictures on the wall are, telling them not to worry about their mother/ other dead relatives etc- conversations that take place about 20 times a day. Tonight dad refused help to go to the toilet and put a pad on to go to bed so at some point will need clothes and bed changing- hoping he wakes up in a more receptive mood- maybe at 1am/ 2am/ whenever. Tomorrow we do it all again. It is awful when instead of having the same conversations all day you hope for a day when a realative sleeps most of the day instead so that you can watch the tv without being asked whether the news is a hoax or why there are strange people in the room. I am probably coming across uncaring in this- generally the opposite is true. I constantly tell myself that it is the dementia and not dad. But so hard when a loved one clenches their jaw and is adamant that they are right and we are all trying to trick them.