LPA(H&W) and Advance Directive - what a relief

[InnerGeek]

We've had an LPA(F&P) in place for three years now, but after three hospital admissions in a month, Dad finally agreed to getting an LPA(H&W) done and dusted. After talking in depth to him, I realised that he would really benefit from an Advance Directive, and was amazed when he agreed!

After seeing how much his dementia has deteriorated since his last discharge, I know we did the right thing at the right time. Now I can rest easy knowing I have the authority to voice Dad's wishes, and be heard. I know not everyone is as fortunate, so I hoe this doesn't come across as insensitive. I am just oveerwhelmed with relief and needed to share it with people who would understand.

 

[canary]

Well done - thats a very important step

 

[GeordieAg]

We (or rather, I) sorted this out a couple of years ago for both to have POA jointly and severally. Brother originally wanted to do financial and leave health to me, until I pointed out that he would have to visit more often (currently 3 hours every 6-8 weeks) to pay for shopping etc. Soon changed his mind

Whilst doing that paperwork we also spoke about sorting out the DNAR instructions. Our GP was aware that this was wanted, so was able to help with the all-important conversation.

Difficult decisions to take, hard to action, but makes things so much easier going forward. Well done for taking those steps - i don't know you personally but, based on my rollercoaster of emotions and experiences, am so proud of you and anyone that does this.

 

[Amy in the US]

I also felt an overwhelming sense of relief when I was finally able to get the medical advance directive and the Power of Attorney for my mother. (Two separate occasions.)

It had been a long wait for each and I had experienced a lot of anxiety and worry for years until I managed. Both times I had help and I was, and am, so grateful.

So I do know what you mean. I'm glad you have some peace of mind from getting this sorted. Best wishes.

 

[Lynmax]

I am so grateful for the consultant who gave mum her diagnosis as he then advised her to arrange both LPAs and stop driving - both of which she did immediately!

 

[InnerGeek]

Thank you for understanding, it was a bittersweet moment once everything was signed.

Lynmax - my Dad's memory clinic consultant advised him against getting the H&W POA - "Oh there's plenty of time for that"! Heck, my husband and I are planning on having as long and as happy a life as we can, yet we still put a living will and an EPoA (back in the day when it was such a thing) in place about 15 years ago.

 

[Shedrech]

hi @InnerGeek
well done - I know I have found some situations easier to face having the legalities dealt with and having talked with dad at times about his beliefs and wishes - there's some peace of mind in this, amongst the whirlwind dementia creates

hello @GeordieAg
just to say welcome to posting on TP
your post is thoughtful and kind - I look forward to reading more from you

 

[marionq]

John and I went to a solicitor the year before he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I only knew about the POA for finance but our solicitor advised us to get both done and registered straight away. We have had both in place since then. Our solicitor who was then about 60 told us he was doing the same for himself. All very practical and matter of fact. He also told us that one of his clients who had early stage dementia came in and cancelled his POA within a week and before the registration was complete. The client then proceeded to spend the proceeds from the sale of his house with "mates" from the pub leaving the daughter who had taken him in with nothing.

POA is so important when dementia steps in.