Someone remind me....is this part of dementia?

[maryjoan]

He sits around in his chair all day, does not move, watches TV
Stays up late
Now has started to get up early, dressed and ready for the day at 'stupid o'clock' about 5.30am, all lights on, heating blazing away.......

Driving me round the bend as he is 'always there!' there is no break from him

I think I read somewhere that this is normal for dementia...... is it?

 

[Izzy]

I certainly found that true for both my husband and my mum, especially my mum. She used to be up and about at 3.30 am fully dressed, marching around with her zimmer because she had to go to work - or school. She was 93.

 

[Grannie G]

Yes those are my experiences too.

My mother used to phone me at 3am or thereabouts, saying she was still waiting for the transport for day care.

Winter months are more difficult because of shorter days and longer nights.

 

[karaokePete]

I haven’t experienced that yet but have read so many times that this is quite normal.

I may struggle to cope if my wife starts that as I get up earlier than my wife and enjoy the peace from dementia for a short while every day.

 

[maryjoan]

I haven’t experienced that yet but have read so many times that this is quite normal.

I may struggle to cope if my wife starts that as I get up earlier than my wife and enjoy the peace from dementia for a short while every day.

That is exactly my point, Pete - used to take him his coffee about 7.00am and have a quiet half hour to myself, read, and eat breakfast, now its all changing and I don't like it much ....

 

[jenniferjean]

I may struggle to cope if my wife starts that as I get up earlier than my wife and enjoy the peace from dementia for a short while every day.

I would love to have a few minutes peace.

 

[Martarita]

He sits around in his chair all day, does not move, watches TV
Stays up late
Now has started to get up early, dressed and ready for the day at 'stupid o'clock' about 5.30am, all lights on, heating blazing away.......

Driving me round the bend as he is 'always there!' there is no break from him

I think I read somewhere that this is normal for dementia...... is it?

Yes I can relate to early mornings well middle of the night really ,but we've got passed that being dressed and ready to go , I hope so , I too get up very early around 5-30 so to have a nice quiet coffee before my OH starts to rise ,I really think he's got a sixth sense though he knows when I'm up and out of bed ,it's like me and my shadow .so the days starts ,yes I think it's all part of dementia .We really do know we're not on our own with this one . Take care .X

 

[jenniferjean]

How I would love to have that bit of peace in the morning. I try so hard to quietly get out of bed and get dressed before he wakes. But no, as soon as I move he's awake and wanting to get up too. I tell him to stay in bed for a while but he won't.

 

[Sad Staffs]

Hi @maryjoan
We have a routine (can you have a routine with someone with dementia!), where every morning my alarm goes off, he waits in bed while I have a wash and get dressed. I then get him up, he washes himself, and I get him dressed ready for whatever the day holds.
I’m not sure if this is beneficial to him or me! But I dread when his dementia escalates, as I know it will, and I lose any control
Yes, I’ve always been a control freak, but I guess at some point all this will change.
Hope you are ok MaryJoan, love B xx

 

[canary]

Now has started to get up early, dressed and ready for the day at 'stupid o'clock' about 5.30am, all lights on, heating blazing away.......

My OH has just started doing this
OK, at the moment its only occasionally when he knows he has an appointment in the morning, but I can see the writing on the wall........

 

[RosettaT]

I've got my OH into routine and I hope it continues. We have a quiet hour after lunch where I sit against the sofa arm and he cuddles up to me. Within 5 mins he is asleep and can be for an hour or more, it's bliss and doesn't affect his night time routine thus far. Sometimes I can sneak out without waking him and do the things that I want to do.

 

[Joyful]

Hi @maryjoan
We have a routine (can you have a routine with someone with dementia!), where every morning my alarm goes off, he waits in bed while I have a wash and get dressed. I then get him up, he washes himself, and I get him dressed ready for whatever the day holds.
I’m not sure if this is beneficial to him or me! But I dread when his dementia escalates, as I know it will, and I lose any control
Yes, I’ve always been a control freak, but I guess at some point all this will change.
Hope you are ok MaryJoan, love B xx[/

 

[SpanishAnnie]

My FIL used to do that, came marching into our bedroom, turning every light on and asking us if were were up....errmmm no, it’s 03.30 in the morning.
He started to think he was in a care home, so it’s something we go along, works to our advantage as when he came asking if we were up we just replied, no, it’s still early and no-one is up yet. It worked a treat and he doesn’t bother now, maybe it will come again but we make the most of the free time. He mostly sleeps through now and when I get up I’ll drop into his room to say good morning, he always asks is anyone up yet. No, I usually reply, I’ll come and get you when they’re all up.
Could you try some tactic like this ? Not sure of your set up , but if you hear him, try to head him off before he gets dressed, tell him it’s raining, it’s Sunday we are having a lie-in, breakfast isn’t ready, we don’t have to go out just yet.....or things that you know he will respond to.
Good luck

 

[Furrykat]

Hi maryjoan I hear the need in your words for some space and peace. Yes my T mirrors the behaviour you have described. Sticking to routines are absolutely not possible now though they may work for you. This is part of dementia sadly for many. May be you can try to make a space which is yours alone in the house. I know I have tried to place a lock on one of the bathroom doors in desperation. I don't have any answers .. if indeed there are any. Just keep talking about how it is for you right now ... don't shut your feelings away ...ever. But please let us know if you find something works for you as I for one learn so much from what others contribute here. X

 

[Baggybreeks]

Hi maryjoan I hear the need in your words for some space and peace. Yes my T mirrors the behaviour you have described. Sticking to routines are absolutely not possible now though they may work for you. This is part of dementia sadly for many. May be you can try to make a space which is yours alone in the house. I know I have tried to place a lock on one of the bathroom doors in desperation. I don't have any answers .. if indeed there are any. Just keep talking about how it is for you right now ... don't shut your feelings away ...ever. But please let us know if you find something works for you as I for one learn so much from what others contribute here. X

Hi maryjoan I hear the need in your words for some space and peace. Yes my T mirrors the behaviour you have described. Sticking to routines are absolutely not possible now though they may work for you. This is part of dementia sadly for many. May be you can try to make a space which is yours alone in the house. I know I have tried to place a lock on one of the bathroom doors in desperation. I don't have any answers .. if indeed there are any. Just keep talking about how it is for you right now ... don't shut your feelings away ...ever. But please let us know if you find something works for you as I for one learn so much from what others contribute here. X

Hi maryjoan I hear the need in your words for some space and peace. Yes my T mirrors the behaviour you have described. Sticking to routines are absolutely not possible now though they may work for you. This is part of dementia sadly for many. May be you can try to make a space which is yours alone in the house. I know I have tried to place a lock on one of the bathroom doors in desperation. I don't have any answers .. if indeed there are any. Just keep talking about how it is for you right now ... don't shut your feelings away ...ever. But please let us know if you find something works for you as I for one learn so much from what others contribute here. X

 

[Baggybreeks]

Yes sadly I had to cope with that stage too. I ended up sleeping in the spare bed. Which helped slightly but he still got up to the toilet and dressed in several layers of clothes, when he came through he went back to bed and lay down briefly. It is exhausting. It doesn’t last.
It seems that time doesn’t matter any more as the ability to tell the time disappears.
It’s like winding the clock backwards to childhood , unlearning all that was learned. It’s not controllable by the dementia sufferers and reasoning does not work .
My husband was diagnosed 5 years ago, and has been in a Care Home for 2 years.
I still feel bad leaving him every night when I visit. He no longer can do anything for himself so looking back I can hardly believe the different stages we went through .
Unfortunately you have to roll with whatever happens. And not think you can control or organise as the disease changes your loved ones.

 

[Baggybreeks]

Yes sadly I had to cope with that stage too. I ended up sleeping in the spare bed. Which helped slightly but he still got up to the toilet and dressed in several layers of clothes, when he came through he went back to bed and lay down briefly. It is exhausting. It doesn’t last.
It seems that time doesn’t matter any more as the ability to tell the time disappears.
It’s like winding the clock backwards to childhood , unlearning all that was learned. It’s not controllable by the dementia sufferers and reasoning does not work .
My husband was diagnosed 5 years ago, and has been in a Care Home for 2 years.
I still feel bad leaving him every night when I visit. He no longer can do anything for himself so looking back I can hardly believe the different stages we went through .
Unfortunately you have to roll with whatever happens. And not think you can control or organise as the disease changes your loved ones.

 

[Baggybreeks]

One thing I can advise in a positive way is to accept every offer of help, to give yourself some time to yourself, so precious.

 

[katydid]

One thing I can advise in a positive way is to accept every offer of help, to give yourself some time to yourself, so precious.

I wish I could have some peace
And yet I envy just a little, t hose of you who have mobile partners
My H seems to lose everything at once in sudden stages. He needs two to walk him or move him at all
When he is in bed he shouts and bangs continually getting out of bed and falling. I go to bed at same time makes no difference still shouting for dead brithers and mum
I have a baby monitor and try to soothe him not very occasionally works
I cannot get this right

 

[At home]

My mum had problems tolerating Donepezil, so we ended up giving it early morning. This meant she was sleepy afterwards. There were some wakeful nights, but not too many, and if she was really 'wired' sometimes just half a lorazepam helped. Morning Donepezil used to give me 'easy' mornings up to about 11 or 11:30. Don't know I would have coped otherwise!